I try the Planetside 2 Beta

 Coming soon for the PS4! I decided to try this since it's run by the same company that runs Everquest. Unfortunately, the company that runs Everquest these days is a bit shady, which is ironic considering their name is Daybreak. Still, I'm going to spend a little while with this game and give it a quick spin.

Top 10 Creepiest Battle Themes

Today I'm taking a quick look at some of the creepier battle themes in video gaming. Your mileage may vary, and it's worth noting that I haven't played too much in the survival/horror realm. I'm sure a lot of very creepy tunes are missing in action here, but this is my personal list based on the things I have played.

Assassin's Creed: Syndicate (Playstation 4, 2015)

 

 Just finished this game and it was pretty fantastic. Not going to get too in-depth on it, but I took some shots.

Assassin's Creed: Unity (Playstation 4, 2014)

Today I'm looking at a modern game that has pleasantly surprised me. Assassin's Creed: Unity was released around six months ago and was poorly-received as a glitchy mess. After numerous patches and some free DLC, the game is a lot better off now than it was at release. This game takes place in scenic Paris, and it has never looked better in a video game.

Originally Posted March 18th 2015

Metroid Fusion Finale - A Multitude of Idols

In this installment I take on all of the final battles. There are quite a few.

Metroid Fusion #2 - Space Madness

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for Samus arching her back while wearing a micro-outfit.

...What? I'm a dude.

Metroid Fusion (Game Boy Advance, 2002)

Metroid Fusion is chronologically the final part of the Metroid series. It's also effectively the end of the Metroid series as a 2D entity. It's a pretty huge game story-wise, with a lot of ground to cover, so I'll be breaking it into multiple parts rather than doing one Super-style megapost.

Castlevania: Dracula X (Super NES, 1995)

Here's a game that I've never covered before. It got somewhat of a bad rep over the years, and a lot of that is probably because Super Castlevania IV was a much better game. This despite Super Castlevania IV being years earlier in the Super NES's lifespan. In short, this was a fairly unnecessary addition to the Castlevania-verse, but it's a decent game regardless.

Castlevania Bloodlines (Sega Genesis, 1994)

Originally posted in 2010, now remastered for 2015.

With this one, the series arrives on the Sega Genesis with a bang. I found this game to be more fun than the NES installments, even though it still has a brutal final battle. In keeping with Sega's early 90's tradition of acting younger and hipper than Nintendo, this game stars the hip young descendants of Simon Belmont. Come on in and follow along.

Super Castlevania IV (Super NES, 1991)

This was one of the Super NES's earliest games, and helped kickstart Nintendo's bid to regain any ground they lost to the Sega Genesis - which got an earlier release - in the 16-bit wars. It's a great game, and my personal favorite in this series.

It isn't a sequel to the earlier games, nor is it a prequel like the third. This is nothing less than a remake of the original Castlevania starring Simon Belmont. That's right, we've gone from the original, to a sequel, to a prequel, to an original remake. It's pretty weird, but at least it's less confusing than Zelda.

Because this game is SO GOOD, I decided to do something special with this one rather than my usual spastic commentary and juvenile references. Thus, it will be narrated entirely by the protagonist, Simon Belmont.

Take it away, Simon.

Castlevania III: Akumajou Densetsu (Famicom, 1989)

(Originally posted in 2010, now heavily remastered for 2015. This is probably the most-remastered of anything I've remastered. Without further ado, let's start this.)

Time for another classic game. It's worth noting that what I'm playing here isn't Castlevania 3: Dracula's Curse as we know it here in the States. It's the Famicom version of that game, translated as Legend of Demon Castle. (Note: Pay no attention to the title screen spelling it "Akumajyou", as the Y is evidently a typo in the version I got ahold of).

Why play the Japanese version over the U.S. version, you ask? Well, this version has vastly better music and a more down-to-Earth challenge level. That's right, this is one instance of an NES game that was actually made more difficult for the North American version. A more manageable challenge level is very welcome here; the U.S. version is so difficult that it might as well have been a game about birthing a meteor. The music is also notably improved in this version, due to it having a special sound chip that the North American version lacked. Now that we've established all of that, time to play the most well-balanced version of the third game in the series.

Castlevania II: Simon's Quest (NES, 1988)

The second game in the series is...well, how to say this. It is not like the others. It emphasizes exploration and collection of powers. It's a "proto" version of some of the later titles, rather than a straight-up action game like the original. It seems like companies were into trying entirely new things for their second game rather than sticking to what worked at the time, if this and Zelda 2 are any indication. Both are, to an extent, the black sheep of their series. Regardless, this is the first of many "Metroidvania" games. I originally wrote about this in 2010, but here's an entirely remastered post. The original post was legitimately not good and in dire need of editing.

While we're on the subject... what's up with the word "Metroidvania"? Shouldn't games of that style simply be referred to as "Metroid-esque" since Metroid did all this stuff first? "Metroidvania" is like referring to "Reaganesque" politicians as "Reagan/Perry-esque".

...well, maybe not quite that bad.

Castlevania (NES, 1987)

Time to take a look at the original Castlevania. Originally posted this in 2010, but I'm presenting a remastered version here.

For anyone unfamiliar with Castlevania, it's a series where you play as various vampire hunters (such as Richter, and Simon) and battle Dracula and his minions. This series has garnered a hell of a lot of acclaim over the years, and the original - this one right heeah - is where it all began. This is Simon's quest (heh) to conquer Dracula, the terror of the night. It's an NES game from 1987, so it will be an arduous battle. Let's do this.

Gargoyle's Quest II (NES, 1992)

Gargoyle's Quest II is the NES debut of Firebrand. This game got an even more limited release than Demon's Crest, and as a result it's a rarity that almost no one got to play. Follow along as I reference tons and tons of other games that this one reminds me of.

There was a Gargoyle's Quest II for the Game Boy before this, but only in Japan. So this NES version is actually... a port of a Game Boy game? Don't things usually go the other way around? Given that it came out in 1992 - after the NES had started winding down - it's surprising that they didn't take it directly to the SNES.

Gargoyle's Quest (Game Boy, 1990)

Also Known As Red Arremer: Makai-Mura Gaiden, Gargoyle's Quest is a side-story to the legendary Ghouls n' Ghosts series from the late 80's and early 90's. That series was best known for having nightmarish difficulty, even at a time when high difficulty was the norm. In any case, there was one particularly nasty foe, a red gargoyle, which I talked about in the last post quite a bit. This recurring foe, named Firebrand, ended up getting his own series. Gargoyle's Quest is where it all begins. No word on if Arthur shows up in this game to make Firebrand's life miserable, but it'd certainly be karma.

Final Fantasy Type-0 Finale - Verdict

As the battle to end all battles looms, will I flip any more tables? Well, that depends on whether or not The Crystal wants it to happen.

Final Fantasy Type-0 #5 - Battle on the Big Bridge

And we're back, as the rad-looking crystalline zone continues. Today's episode contains...Gilgamesh.

Final Fantasy Type-0 #4 - Wacky Blasters

Judecca is part of the ninth and final circle of Hell as depicted in Dante's Inferno. Does this bode well for our young heroes? Probably not.

My previous Type-0 posts didn't go over super-well because I was downing the game pretty hard. I'm going to try to ease up on it a bit this time, or at least not be as offensive.

Street Fighter II

TODAY... you will feel the POWAH of the WOAH YAH as the cosmic energies descend HO KOGAN.

Nintendo Power, Volume 38 (July 1992)

 Here's a Nintendo Power that I remember reading as a kid. At the time I didn't have a subscription or even any games, but By God these things were still so much fun to read. Let's see what memories it brings back now that I've gotten ahold of this issue again.

Final Fantasy Type-0 #3 - Magitek Raid

Well, this game definitely came out after 2003. In this chapter, we go after... Saddam?

Final Fantasy Type-0 #2 - The Meadow

 Chapter 2 begins with a bang. Tune in as our heroes battle imperial forces, deadly slimes, and hypermobile flying mechs hundreds of years ahead of everything else in the game... for some reason.

Final Fantasy Type-0 (Playstation 4, 2015)

This should be pretty interesting. I have no idea what to expect. Final Fantasy Type-0 (zero) is an action-RPG that started on the PSP and later got a PS4 port. It's a spinoff to the main series that was originally slated to take place in the world of FFXIII (and was called Final Fantasy XIII Agito).

That plan got scrapped by the time it was released. Now I think it might take place in the world of FFXV (which was also originally in the FFXIII world and called FF Versus XIII, whatever that means). I'm looking forward to Final Fantasy 16 just so I'll know it's an entirely new concept.

10 Games I Didn't Enjoy, But Still Finished

Today I'm going to take a look at some games that I played and finished, but really didn't have a very good time with in the process.

Note: This isn't a "worst games" list. Matter of fact, the majority of these games aren't what I'd consider "bad". That's why you won't be seeing Bebe's Kids or Shaq Fu on here. This is a list of games that were good enough to finish, but ultimately not very enjoyable for me.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages Finale - Death of Seasons

I...I think Princess Zelda is giving birth to Ganon. Holy Hell.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons #5 - Winter

Today I will beat the game

Gaze upon the cyclopean ghost

This was haiku~

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons #4 - Autumn

 

 Winter is coming.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons #3 - Summer

Ricky the Kangaroo may have dumped our hero, but now Link has found Dimitri the Dodongo. Who knew that a day would come when man and Dodongo could exist in harmony?

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons #2 - Spring

 

Previously on Oracle of Seasons, former Vermont governor Howard Dean cut a battle rap on the Dungeon 1 boss, shaming him offstage with tales of his time in Cranbrook (that's a private school!)

Now, Link takes a moment to talk to...a guy in sunglasses? Did I step into Earthbound?

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons (Game Boy Color, 2001)

Here we go, the other half of the Oracle equation. Ages had to do with the flow of time, while this one has to do with the passing of seasons. Which is also time. Er...

Well, point is, while Ages had you bouncing between past and present, this one has you bouncing between the four seasons (in the present, I guess) to affect your surroundings. So basically, Link can control the weather. Which would be really cool in real life, especially when we just had the hottest month in Earth's history.

While Ages is very difficult and puzzle-heavy, this one is on the easier side and combat-centric. I vastly prefer this game. Seriously, Ages was hard to enjoy. Onward and upward though.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages Finale - Age of the Fall

Previously on Oracle of Ages... Queen Ambi became Locutus of the Borg. Now, Link must face the horror that is Dungeon 7, along with whatever not-as-bad stuff happens after that.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages #4 - Oracle Fixation

WTF.

I apologize in advance for how not up to par this will be. I played this a while ago and it's tough to remember all the details. Let's get to it.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages #3 - Dodongo Dislikes Dean

As far as I can tell, most people played Seasons first. I should have started with that one myself because it's a lot easier than this brutal game. Ah well. ProTip: Play Seasons first.

Moonlit Grotto: A terrific place to bring a date...that you're trying to kill for some reason.

Final Fantasy XV: Episode Duscae

 Got ahold of a demo code, very unexpectedly, for the latest Final Fantasy. I'M EXCITED. No idea what to expect (except that the four heroes are douchebags), so let's jump into this.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages #2 - Teaching Mr. Tingle

Today in Oracle of Ages: The psycho-sexual thriller of the year. Starring Natalie Portman, Tingle, and Tingle's tiny green penis. Oh yeah.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages (Game Boy Color, 2001)

This game is really something else. It actually surpasses Link's Awakening in a lot of ways and never ceases to be thrilling. That said, it's extremely difficult. I'd go so far as to call it the hardest game in the entire Zelda series. It's difficult and puzzle-centric, while the twin game, Oracle of Seasons, is easier and action-centric. That right there might tell you all you need to know about which of these games is for you. ProTip: Finishing one of the two gives you a password that you can use to start the other game at like a third of max health. If you're planning to play both, I highly advise playing Seasons first so you can take the power boost into the more difficult Ages.

Oracle of Ages and Seasons: Coming Soon

THIS SUMMER.

Suikoden vs. The World

The Suikoden series is one of my favorite RPG series out there, when it comes down to it.  Because Suikoden has so many characters (108 per game), there's bound to be some name overlap between the cast of the series and the rest of the media that exists in the world. Today I find out who would win in battles to the death between the Suikoden cast and their namesakes elsewhere.

Wolfenstein: The New Order (Multiple, 2014)

Now that's a title screen. This is one of my favorite games from last year, and tells a brilliant story of an alternate timeline where the Nazis won World War 2. Today was the release of The Old Blood, a DLC prequel to this game, so I figured it'd be a good time to take a quick look at the main game.

This post is mainly about the newspaper clippings peppered throughout the game that fill in the backstory, as the majority of the game takes place in an alternate post-war 1960. BJ Blaskowicz was in a coma for most of the new 1946-1960, so the missing decade and a half of alternate events is something he's learning about along with you.

Alien: Isolation (Multiple, 2014)

Back to the games, as I spend some time with that awesome Alien game everybody raves about, yet it seems like nobody has finished because it's so damn long.

A Shot-by-Shot Breakdown of the Terminator: Genisys Trailer

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a really big Terminator fan. As a result, I was pretty psyched when I learned that a full trailer was out for the newest movie in the franchise. I don't know if this movie will be any good or not, and I think the name is stupid, but By God, this trailer was COOL. There's a shot-for-shot breakdown on a major internet site (it rhymes with die glow mime) and while I enjoy that site, I didn't think their breakdown was very good. Rather than complain about it, I said why the hell not do my own if I think I can do better?

Come with me if you want to live.

Arguing With Terminator Salvation Nitpicks

 With the impending release of Terminator Genisys - which I'm pretty stoked about - I'm going to revisit some old Terminator posts as well as checking out some of the (usually terrible) games based on the series.

Before that: Terminator Salvation. Released in 2009 and alternately praised/reviled by moviegoers, the fourth Terminator movie is controversial. This movie has a lot more attention to detail than people give it credit for, yet I've seen it get torn apart on the internet a lot. Then again, what doesn't get torn up on the internet? In any case, this movie got a lot of flak, so I'm going to take a few of the more common nitpicks and do my best to argue with them here. Terminator Salvation isn't the best movie in the world and can't compare to the first two movies in the series, but it's a step up from Terminator 3 and a well-done addition to the series mythology. I appreciated the amount of thought that went into this movie.

Dragonball Evolution (2009)

It's time for a look at one of the worst theatrical movies out there that's based on anime. This movie (very, very) loosely follows the events of the original Dragonball series, minus one very important character: Oolong. And by that I mean Kuririn. Okay, it doesn't really follow Dragonball much at all. And considering it was relying ENTIRELY on fans of Dragonball to turn out and watch it...

Destiny (All the systems, 2014)

 Today I'm taking a look at last year's most-mediocre most-hyped PS3 game! Also on PS4.

Altered Beast (Sega Genesis, 1988)

This is a game that got requested a while ago. I'd seen glimpses of it previously, and it definitely wasn't on my agenda. However, in this case I'm glad that I gave it a shot, because it's RAD TO THE MAX. I'll put it out there that if you have any games you'd like to see looked at here, go ahead and let me know in any given comments section.

In any case, this game is responsible for more emergency calls to Animal Control than any other game in history.

Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland (Game Boy Advance, 2002)

In today's MAN-SIZED post, I cover the super-cool Kirby's Adventure remake.

Kirby's Adventure (NES, 1993)

Today we're looking at a very special game. It's his console debut, as well as the birth of Kirby in his power-absorbing incarnation. It's not a literal birth, though, 'cause...that'd be gross, and I already covered Bloodborne.

Kirby's Dream Land 3 (Super NES, 1997)

 One of the last Super NES games.

Kirby's Dream Land 2 (Game Boy, 1995)

Here's a game I was dying to play for a while in 1995. As the sequel to my first game, this had me super-hyped. I beat the game in a day once I finally had it, though it took me a week or so to unlock the true final boss.

I think it'd be something else if one of these Kirby games pulled a Metroid and revealed that Kirby is a woman at the end.

Kirby's Dream Land (Game Boy, 1992)

Kirby's Dream Land was the first game I ever owned, and as a result it has a special place in my memory. I can still remember perusing game shelves for my first game and choosing Kirby mainly based on the colorful, eye-catching box art.

I'd have certainly gone with Mario, but the store didn't have either of the Mario Land games that existed at the time. It's probably for the best; this is one of the easiest games I've ever played, making it perfect as a first game. It's a short (15 minutes or so if you're familiar with it), unassuming game, but little did anyone know that it would spawn a whole series of Kirby games that would catapult the "tough cream puff" into the pantheon of legendary Nintendo characters.

Superman 64 (Nintendo 64, 1999)

Today I'm going to take a quick look at one of the shittiest fucking games that Nintendo ever put the Seal of Quality on. And I thought Bebe's Kids was bad. What we have here is a textbook example of what NOT to do in video game design.