Monday, November 21, 2016

Pokemon Go (iPhone/Android, 2016)

Time for a game that is bringing people together like none other. Since everyone is playing it, it presents a primo opportunity for fellas like me to strike up conversations with women while we're out and about, forging new connections and relationships; bonds that may end up enduring for the rest of our lives, and all because of a simple mobile game.

...or in my case, it just dramatically increases how often I get pepper sprayed.


Saturday, November 19, 2016

Pokemon: Generation III (Part 2 - Roxanne)

This guy is just too cool for school, isn't he? Not only is he wearing hip shades, he can't even be bothered to look at our hero while he addresses her. She's also clearly way too weak of a trainer for him to bother with, so he apologizes for wasting her time. F**** off, dude.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Terminator Genisys (iOS/Android, 2015)

Wrapping up Terminator Week with a look at an entirely new game that I've never covered before. This one came out for smartphones, and I was pretty stoked to get into it. Is it any good, or should it melt in a vat of molten steel? Let's find out.


Thursday, November 17, 2016

Old Terminator Games

Total casualties in the making of this post: 001. That one might be me. Good God, these games are bad.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Terminator 2: The Arcade Game (Various, 1991-1994)

 
 Here's a game that a lot of us spent waaaay too many quarters on back in the day, because it was approximately the coolest arcade game on the planet for a while. One or two players can wield light guns and battle the forces of Skynet in a first-person rail shooter that may or may not give you shell shock. The volume was turned up on this one.

No problemo.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Terminator: Dawn of Fate (Playstation 2 and XBox, 2002)

 This is on the shortlist for BEST Terminator game of all time. Which is a lot like being Toughest Male Model, but just roll with it. This game really is outstanding if you're a fan of the Cameron-directed parts of the franchise. It shows us more of the Future War (2029 version) than most other games, and it's obvious that the designers really cared about what they were doing. It's full of attention to detail; right off the bat it makes use of BGM from the war scenes in the first movie for the title screen and menu themes. Let's have a closer look.

Monday, November 14, 2016

The Terminator (Sega CD, 1993)


Given how great the first two movies were, it's weird that so few Terminator games have been any good. The Terminator for the ill-fated Sega CD has the distinction of being a rare good Terminator game. It also has quite the soundtrack, and fans of game soundtracks would do well to track this one down.

This game is surprisingly tough, to say the least. There are no continues, so if you run out of lives you start at the beginning. That said, I'm going to get to the end. I'll show you what this game is all about, the way only I can, while completely nerding out with useless Terminator fun facts. Get ready.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Robocop Vs. Terminator (Super NES, 1993)

Time for a game that's better than it has any right to be, as I play the very different Super NES version of a Genesis game I played previously. Like Terminator? Like Robocop? Well, check out what happens when the two make sweet, sweet love and have a game-child. My only question is... in a Robocop / Terminator relationship, which one is the butch and which one is the bitch?
 

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Pokemon: Generation III (Part 1 - Emerald Begins)

As America - and Earth itself - teeters on the precipice of annihilation, I start the third and final Pokemon that I'll be playing on here. Whooo! I'm not drunk!

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Pokemon: Generation II (Finale - Blue and Red)

Professor Oak greets our hero as he searches for the Viridian City gym leader. With Broken Matt defeated, along with the Elite Four and basically every other gym leader in existence, very little remains for Nero to prove.


Thursday, November 3, 2016

Kick Master (NES, 1991)

It's time for me to play the raddest NES game of 1991. Some people are masters of punching. Some people are masters of elbowing. Some people are just masters of blocking with their face. Not this guy. THIS... is Kick Master.