Monday, December 31, 2012

Lennus II, Part 6 - Meridian

Previously on Lennus 2... Farus finished collecting the eight seals. Then, he promptly handed them over to the bad guys, and now the crisis is even more dire. Good work, Farus.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Lennus II, Part 5 - Smoky Hellscape

I continue my trek through the game that approximately one hundred people in the U.S. have played through. Next up, Farus and Friends (not to be confused with television muppets Fox and Friends) are back in Andel. And everyone is celebrating!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Gun Nac (NES, 1990)

And now for something completely different. Gun Nac is a classic NES shooter probably most recognizable for having some of the weirdest enemies in the history of the genre. Such internet luminaries as the Happy Video Game Nerd and Motherfucker Mike have sung the praises of this little-known game. What's all the fuss about? I set out to see for myself. Get ready for vicious attack-carrots and all kinds of insanity to ensue OMG THIS GAME IS AWESOME

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Movie Review: Prometheus (Blu-Ray, 2012)

What if God was one of us?

Directed by Ridley Scott
Written by Damon Lindelhof and Jon Spaihts
Starring Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron

In ancient times, the titan Prometheus was said to have given fire to humans – and been punished by the gods for his efforts.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Lennus II, Part 3 - The Hoodwinking of Farus

Lennus 2: Apostles of the Seals (brought to you by Magic Destiny!) rolls on, as the Great Union is upon our heroes. Is it going to be as bad as the signs are indicating? Only one thing is for sure: That nothing is for sure. It's show time, folks.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Tactics Ogre, Part 2 - Godscale

 Previously on Tactics Ogre... Canopus played the role of Piccolo as he was forced to listen to Denim and his frowny-faced sister bicker incessantly. He then blew up the moon.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Demon's Crest Revisited

Demon's Crest is effectively Gargoyle's Quest 3. If it were called that, more people would know Gargoyle's Quest 2 exists. Two years ago I played this game and wrote about it. Now it's time to revisit this world, having finally played the first two games.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Lennus II, Part 1 - The Legend of the Nude Hero

This game is one of many Japanese RPGs from the Super NES era that didn't make it to the states. It's the sequel to Lennus, a game that DID make it stateside as Paladin's Quest. The advanced difficulty of these games relative to most RPGs of the time ensured that they were marginalized by the major publishing companies. After all, American gamers had the stigma of being "too dumb" to play complicated Japanese RPGs. Luckily, Americans would completely dispel this stigma years later by being able to clearly tell the difference between Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Super Metroid (Super NES, 1994)

Best game ever? Possibly

My 2012 Metroid Crusade rolls on with what is almost undisputably the best Metroid game. It's on plenty of shortlists for "best game ever". It scored the lofty #1 on the now-defunct (or is it?) Electronic Gaming Monthly's "Top 100 Games of All Time". It's the game that I got an SNES for in 1994. This is Super Metroid, one of the SNES's crowning moments and one of those games that helped the SNES bury the competing Sega Genesis.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Wild Guns (Super NES, 1994)

Today I'm taking a quick look at a forgotten SNES game. It has achieved slightly mythical status in the last couple of years due to a number of high-profile members of the internet singing its praises. It's... surprisingly great.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Batman Returns (Super NES, 1993)

This was, hands-down, the best Batman game ever made before the Arkham games started coming along in the past couple of years. In other words, this was the best Batman game in existence until the late 00's.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Tactics Ogre, Part 1 - March of the Lune Knights

In a word, it's vibrant

Change of pace today, as I'm looking at a PSP game. "Let Us Cling Together" is is a remake of Tactics Ogre for the Playstation, a game I have fond memories of from 1998 or so. What are my thoughts on this game so far? Read on to find out.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Metroid: Zero Mission (Game Boy Advance, 2004)

The 0th Mission

Last month, I reviewed the iconic original Metroid ( Now I'll be taking a look at the 2004 remake. This game improves on the NES version in numerous ways, but (debatably) loses some of its charm. The big question is... why didn't Metroid 2 get the remake treatment? Graphic-wise it has aged even more than the original game and would be a perfect candidate for a solid remake.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Metroid (NES, 1986)

"Wait, you mean The Metroid is a girl?"

Now that Paladin's Quest is over with, it's time for me to change course and look at something a bit more iconic: the Metroid series. The first Metroid I played was Metroid 2: Return of Samus in 1993, but I soon heard legends and tales that an earlier game existed in the then-duology. To say I was captivated by the idea of an NES Metroid would be an understatement, but unfortunately for me I never got to play this game until I eventually got an NES in 1999. I recently revisited the game for the second time for the purposes of this post. This is one of the best (and most difficult) classics to be found on the NES. Read on to see my thoughts as I play this fine work of game design.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Paladin's Quest, Part 7: Chezni's Mom... Has Got It Goin' On

"Sophie can't you see? You're just not the girl for me! I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Chezni's Mom!"

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Monday, June 4, 2012


Sony and Nintendo's Obscure 1994 Marvel Team-Up

Skyblazer is one of the forgotten gems of the SNES era. It went largely unnoticed at the time of its release, overshadowed by big-name fare like Super Metroid and Yoshi's Island. It also went unnoticed in stores, probably because of the awful box art. That's unfortunate, because it's a really good game. If it weren't for Nintendo Power devoting a couple of pages to it, I never would have known it existed. What is Skyblazer? Read on.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Paladin's Quest, Part 5: Machine Gun Punch

Previously on Paladin's Quest... the fearsome Chill forcibly kicked beloved children's clown Fastjo out of the party. It was horrible.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Paladin's Quest, Part 4: Everything is Purple

The journey continues, as Saskout Mime Troop 13 begins their quest to fit in. See how they mime!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Paladin's Quest, Part 3: Sure Shot

Previously on Paladin's Quest...

...Chezni drank purple bird wings. It was pretty bad. Animal Control got called, and our hero ended up getting tased.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Paladin's Quest, Part 1: Whiskey Dick

A Game For The Ages

Paladin's Quest is a 1993 RPG for the Super NES. Originally called "Lennus" in Japan, this is a fairly underrated classic with a unique world. They made a second game, Lennus 2, but it was never released outside of Japan. This series is similar to Dragon Quest in terms of how it plays, with a higher than average difficulty that is, at times, brutal. Join me for this look at a game that almost no one played. For these posts, I'll be calling the game "Lennus" - the original name of the game. The one that means something.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Movie Review: The Hunger Games

An original concept, to say the least

Starring Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson

Directed by Gary Ross

It has been #1 at the box office for four straight weeks now. This highly-hyped movie is based on the first installment of a book series by Suzanne Collins. It tells the story of a young woman who is thrust into the spotlight in a bloodthirsty, imperialistic society that has lost its moral fiber; if she survives long enough, she may well be the catalyst for change that could bring the whole thing crashing down.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Hagane (SNES)

Jungle of Massacre

Today, I'll be talking about an SNES game that is actually really good, one that I played a few years ago. Unfortunately, almost no one else played it. Chances are, you've never heard of it. Hagane is, in a way, the spiritual successor to the old NES Ninja Gaiden games. It's the closest the SNES ever got to Ninja Gaiden 4 (or more likely, "Super Ninja Gaiden 4"). It's unfortunate that it didn't have the NG name to boost it to prominence.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Game Review: Mass Effect 3

March 2012
PC, XBox360, PS3
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Developer: Bioware
Time to Complete: 35-40 hours

Mass Effect 3 is, thus far, one of the most eagerly-awaited games of 2012 by far. The first two Mass Effects are among the most beloved sci-fi action-RPGs of all time, and expectations for the third installment were running high for months in advance of release. Luckily for the players, the finale to this epic trilogy manages to meet most of the expectations set forth by the playerbase. It has a bit of a slow start, but once it gets going it is as epic as its predecessors.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Shien's Revenge (SNES)

Heat Haze

As one of the few games designed for the Super NES Mouse, Shien's Revenge filled a very small niche in the gaming marketplace. Back in 1994, I wanted this game for a time. I'm glad I didn't find it, because it's about a half hour long. And back then, new games were so few and far between that I could only get games with substantial play value. While this game may have eluded me in 1994, I got ahold of it in 2010 and finally gave it the playing I wanted to give it many years previous.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

True Lies (SNES)

He Will Grope You.

True Lies, for the Super Nintendo, is one of the lamer movie-based games of the 1990's. However, it has a special place in my heart. You see, this is the only SNES game I ever owned as a kid that I never actually finished back then. It was just too difficult, and too...bad. Luckily, emulators exist, so I was able to revisit this as an adult. Armed with adult patience (but lacking kid-reflexes), could I defeat this great bear from my youth? Join me, as I Legends of the Fall this thing.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Power Blade 2 (NES)

This is the most attention anyone has paid to Power Blade in the last twenty years

The sequel to one of the NES's greatest and most under-looked games, Power Blade 2 is... painfully average. By 1992, the NES had been largely replaced by the SNES, and the few new NES games tended to be subpar and forgotten. Why they didn't just do a Super Power Blade on the SNES is beyond me, but instead we got this. That said... it ain't bad.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Love Hina Games

Love Hina is a Japanese TV show best known for having a male lead who gets victimized regularly for no apparent reason by the women on the show. In other words, Love Hina is atrociously bad. At least, we can presume that much. I don't watch the damn thing. The problem is, they made games based on this infernal show. Women don't play video games, so I'm not sure how the publishers expected to sell any copies. I sat down and spent a few minutes with a pair of these non-gems, which were never released outside of Japan. The results are... unpleasant.

Monday, February 13, 2012

The 212

Following on the heels of my last post, here are some more shots of Manhattan. I took all of these, and hopefully they're enjoyed.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II

99th post, ladies and gentlemen

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II

Directed by David Yates
Written by J.K. Rowling
Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert "Sexual Carrot Cake" Grint
Rated PG-13

The eighth and final installment of the storied Harry Potter movie series brings the storied franchise down to new levels of uninhibited sexual depravity of the kind normally only seen at college parties in Ancient Rome, obscene vulgarity that would make Quentin Tarantino's mouth blush, and graphic violence that would give pause to Eli Roth. Nothing that I just said is true, but this movie does feature the word "bitch"... and to some people, that's equal to all of the above in badness. If you aren't one of those people, you may already like this movie, so read on. Fortunately for us, the Republicans haven't found a way to ban Harry Potter for having "pot" in his name. Yet.

Monday, January 16, 2012

The Xenoverse Awards

In space, everyone can hear Shion Uzuki's footsteps

The main game-related project I did this year was play through the Xenosaga series and Xenogears. No Xenoblade yet, but it has no connection thematically to the Xenoverse works so it isn't relevant for this particular post. Besides, if what I've heard about it is true, it'd sweep the awards if it were included.

Xenosaga is a re-imagining loosely based on the origin story of Xenogears, and if you like either game/series, the other is worth playing. Here I'll be doling out awards to the four games that transpire in this Xenoverse. Some assembly required, some restrictions apply. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. Act now and we'll include a free custom gourmet genuine imitation Miang nipple.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012