Monday, August 24, 2015

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons #3 - Summer

Ricky the Kangaroo may have dumped our hero, but now Link has found Dimitri the Dodongo. Who knew that a day would come when man and Dodongo could exist in harmony?

Dimitri is good for sailing around in the water. Unfortunately, he gets left behind when our hero warps. #gone2soon

Well, you can't go wrong with flowers. Or the tongue tornado.

This underworld beach has a striking resemblance to the one where Link met up with Marin. Link takes a moment to remember when he met her... when he met her in the Summer.

Dun dun-a dun-a dun-a dun-a dun-a DUNDUN DUNNN!

Link digs up the entire beach while this guy blabs on and on about Rosa while listening to Linkin Park.

Digging is almost a waste of time, given that it barely gives up any rupees. But dammit, it's hard not to dig up an entire beach when listening to a high-energy song.

This is one creepy marketplace. Hopefully Rosa bought all of their pepper spray.

Here in the underworld, the heart pieces are upside-down.

I'm here for the ribbon, and do some haggling to get it. Is Link going to steal Rosa for himself?

...yep. He gives her the ribbon, and now she's his girlfriend. FOREVER. They pass by a weeping Linkin Park Guy on the way out of the underworld.

This cave looks like a Bomberman level.

Winter can be useful for freezing some lakes. I don't have a consistent way to travel via water yet, so this lets me reach the third dungeon.

Poison Moth's Lair... sounds like the Skull Dungeon from A Link to the Past.

Finally, the single greatest item in any of these games. Now I can leap over pits...and leap in general. Totally changes the gameplay.

Mini-boss is a whack-a-mole battle with a bunch of aquatic creatures. Much like Toad, they screech words of hatred from their accursed mouths.

The boss is the aforementioned Poison Moth; jumping is a requirement for this fight, unsurprisingly. Lots of jumping and slashing. JUMP N' SLASH MAN.

That's three down, five to go.

Not a whole lot to say about this dungeon because I played this a while ago; I'm trying to remember what these screenshots represent. I know I had to find four jewels after the dungeon ended... they were scattered in the overworld.

Next thing we know, some bastardly Jawas make off with Link's prized lady-pleasuring feather. DAMMIT. How is he going to keep that new girlfriend of his now? Rosa! ROSA!!!

...well, that didn't take long. He waited until they buried it, then went and dug it up. This game uses the shovel more in the storyline than any other Zelda game that I can think of. That's cool, I think Zelda games should make a bigger deal out of the shovel. I didn't like how you had to give it up in both Link to the Past and Link's Awakening.

Upon regaining the feather, I take some time to leap over molten lava pits. Oh yeah, sweet platform-jumping goodness.

Moosh: Not to be confused with WWF Superstar "Headbanger Mosh"

Moosh is the latest ridable pet (or as WoW players call them, "epic mounts"). He can't do much, but he IS crucial for flying over lengthy pits like these. Somehow, his small wings can carry us aloft for a good distance. Flap, you magnificent bastard!

That's some view. Am I above the clouds?

Oh yeah, Moosh allowed me to get the key to dungeon four. We're well on our way.

The question is, where is Tingle right now?

Actually, the real question is... what exactly is Tingle being taught?

Quick montage, as I run around collecting heart pieces to prepare for battle. But wait...

::sinister music plays:: Is that who I think it is?



The good news is that today, Roostamoor isn't hungry. So Link is able to form an alliance with the vicious beast, and gains the power of flight. What's the difference between this guy and Moosh, you ask? I...I'm really not sure.

With his help, I reach dungeon four. This is my personal favorite dungeon in the game...

...the Dancing Dragon Dungeon. This one is a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, I didn't take any other shots, so I can't really show you WHY the dungeon is so cool. Suffice to say that it does everything right. It's uncomplicated, interesting, and has an appealing design.

The boss here is Gohma, and he's singular this time. He also has a weird crab claw now.

Soothing rain is always nice. That wraps up dungeon four...let's get this done.

Something I haven't touched on at all: Rings. There are a bunch of rings that you can equip, one at a time, to give you various passive advantages. They're fun to play around with but they're all obsoleted when you get the Red Ring (2x attack) halfway through the game.

Link disguises himself as a Like-Like to lurk undercover. Like Solid Snake with a box. I notice this shopkeeper looks a lot like Waluigi.

Wait, what? OH YEAH! Back in the other game, I named the new child of this couple. Now he's older. This is unexpected and cool.

Clark Kent is growing quickly. Soon HE will be rescuing the kingdom from bad guys, while simultaneously keeping his identity a secret from his two girlfriends until a hacker group exposes his membership in an online affair site. Batman was right about you, damn it!
...I thought this said "boob flower" for a second.

Next up, a Great Fairy gives Link the power to shift the environment to all four seasons at will. The Rod of Seasons now also vibrates in four settings, for the ladies.

Dungeon 5 shows up shortly after the previous one. This one looks pretty rad from the outside, but how will it be inside?

Unicorn's Cave is another very cool dungeon.

Lots of inventive stuff here, mostly involving the dungeon treasure, which is...

...this. It's basically a reverse-hookshot that can move distant metal objects towards you (instead of you being pulled to them). Link has become Magneto.

This is a fun power to play around with. Now Link can effortlessly handle balls. It's like I'm suddenly playing as John Travolta.

Yanno, I felt like something was missing from this game compared to other Zeldas... that something? Eyeball bosses. The big boss here fixes that oversight.

Quick cut to Twinrova, scheming somewhere. Yeah, we haven't forgotten about them. Their time will come, but first... three more dungeons and General Onox await.

The inventory is looking quite spiffy at this point, but I'd sure like a shield upgrade.

By the way, the cat is STILL stuck in the tree. I'll rescue it if it ever stops shooting at me.

As for Roostamoor, he left without so much as cab fare or an "I had fun" call. He used Link! HE USED LINK FOR HIS BODY! WHAT ABOUT THE BABY, ROOSTAMOOR? WHAT ABOUT THE BABY??


  1. You're riding a Dodongo? I could not have foreseen this!
    Dodongos like water? No wonder they dislike smoke! And no wonder that one who was locked up attacked you. Cabin fever!

    RIP Dmitri, you will be missed.

    You have a lot of pep in your step in this mail. It's really poppin'.

    How many lame dudes who struggle to keep girlfriends does Link humiliate in these games? He's a cold-ass honky.

    Upside-down world...whooa.

    Nice to see Clark growing up again.

    There must be something that scares Miyamoto about eyeballs. Well, he's not wrong. If you really think about them they ARE weird.

  2. That Marin beach has Dark World trees!

    Much like KG, Link has the tools.


    Hmm, if Clark is there, does that mean this world overlaps with the Ages world?