I...I think Princess Zelda is giving birth to Ganon. Holy Hell.
We cut back to Din's endless promo. Uh, yeah, I get it, can I go do that now?
Sounds like Twinrova is in need of some Herpecin.
Whoa, a Nayru sighting. I have a question for the game designers: If these two are powerful goddesses, why don't THEY rescue Zelda?
Sad Answer: no penis
Link climbs the Great Deku Tree, and atop finds the lair of...
...Farore, the third goddess. She's the one who got swindled out of having her own game. Hers would have been the Legend of Zelda remake before all of its assets got folded into Seasons.
Sounds like the third game would have actually been Oracle of Secrets. Wonder what gimmick they had planned. Maybe secret areas under the remade NES overworld to expand on it, and some way to detect them, thus expanding on the original world. Something similar to what eventually happened with Link Between Worlds, I bet.
The Room of Rites is the final dungeon. It isn't much of a dungeon, though, and exists to lead you into the final battles.
I'd feel a lot more confident if I had the Biggoron or Master Sword. The L2 Noble's Sword isn't really cutting it, even with the attack power ring. Onox would have been much easier with a better weapon, and took a bunch of tries as things are.
Link finds Zelda, but then we get a Wayne's World distortion.
Twinrova attacks! They're a lot smaller than in Ocarina of Time.
They have the same attack pattern; you bounce their energy blasts back at them. No Mirror Shield to help out in this game, so it's all swordplay.
Defeat the two mini-witches and they combine into the giant shrieking she-beast from Ocarina.
She controls the elements and shifts between fire and ice. The only way to damage her is simple sword strikes, and getting in there to attack is difficult.
The ice-floor is the worst, but intermittent lava pits don't help either.
This is easily the most difficult fight in the entire Oracle series, without a doubt. Especially with the L2 sword. Took me many tries.
Finally, I win, but it's too late! Zelda is already giving birth to the Anti-Christ!
The seas are boiling! The Earth is shattering! Dogs and cats, living together!
Twinrova makes a cruciform and then explodes as Ganon erupts from her body. Oh, so Twinrova was birthing him, not Zelda? Phew.
Ganon is already in full battle armor! This isn't your typical birth, I guess.
He has almost nothing to say except laughing and grunting. Once he finishes his Broly-like "dialogue", the battle commences.
He's much bigger and much meaner than he was in A Link to the Past, the last time we fought him in 2D. I'm glad his trident made it.
He also attacks with conjured energy balls. This fight isn't going Link's way...
Ganon with a violent stab for the win! Yep, this fight is no cakewalk either. Twinrova was worse, but this is a close second.
The good news is that he can't turn out the room lamps this time. The advent of electricity has changed everything!
Whoa, it's Agahnim-style cluster-fire. Spin attacks are working well in this fight, and timing is everything.
His deadliest attack is a ground-slam quake that stuns you for like TEN SECONDS unless you jump over it. My biggest pet peeve in game design is being immobilized in any way, especially for a long duration. Lame lame lame.
Looks like he's going for a kamehameha here, but I interrupted it.
He reverses the polarity in the room (meaning key inputs are backwards) and beats the shit out of Link in the corner while I struggle to figure out the controls. I lose again!
Run away, Link! Get outta there!
This time I'm prepared for the polarity shift...
I finally manage to eke out a victory. It took an INSANE amount of hits to bring him down with my underpowered weapon. Didn't help that I bounced off him when I struck... usually bouncing right into one of his attacks.
Ganon got revived...and killed again. Lulz
Link emerges from the Room of Rites and finds himself surrounded by women.
Everyone goes back to having a big dance party as the land is saved.
The best dancer is, of course, Din. Her supple 'bod is the best thing about this game.
Also, Nayru runs off with her dude. Something about this picture is disturbing.
Zelda goes off, alone, to a balcony. I half-expected her to start singing "OH MY HEEEEERO" like in FFVI
Zelda spends a lot of time alone.
Roll credits. I'm glad this one is over. Need to get to a game that I can barely stand but for some reason really want to cover. It's a Final Fantasy, I'll say that much.
Link waves goodbye to everyone and sets sail on a voyage of self-discovery. I'd wager that this leads directly into Link's Awakening, but he's much older in that game. At least in the cutscenes. Looks the same in gameplay. They could have easily had this be a Link's Awakening prequel by simply not having Link be a little tot, but whatever. The Zelda series generally refuses to utilize continuity or the universe it has created from one game to the next.
Fin. The endgame content was pretty awesome, I'll give it that. The whole duology is fun, Seasons moreso than Ages. I'm glad to see Ganon get to play the final boss role again, given that he stepped aside for Majora's Mask (and a number of other games after this).