Monday, April 30, 2012

Paladin's Quest, Part 2: Trip With Pastels


Before continuing, check out the previous entry in this series at:


So yeah, Fritz leaves the party... normally this would probably mean that Chezni is now completely screwed, but luckily Midia is here to carry the team into the future. She's the only permanent party member in the game besides Chezni. She is...get this...physically weak, but adept at casting spells. She also has a weird stalkerish vibe. Hey, if she has purple hair and Chezni has yellow hair... what color hair will their children have?

Midia comes (heehee) with an assortment of spells. Spells may use your HP in this game, but they tend to be pretty useful. Freeze in particular is the "Stop" type spell of this game, causing an enemy to miss out on some actions if it works. It even works on some bosses, just not well. Status enhancements like Speed Up (...SPup, this game loves weird abbreviations) are great too. The only downside is that attack spells are pretty weak until you build up their element. As her L (Lightning) power is low here, BoltS won't do very much damage at all until she uses it about 500 times.

Moments after this picture was taken, Midia noticed Chezni's intense morning-wood and screamed.

She woke Chezni up for this? Call the police, Chezni. DO IT NOW.

Smell The Romance!

Soa is the star that Lennus orbits. ...I probably didn't need to explain that.

Our heroes battle vicious gorilla-things amidst the giant cabbages of the plains. WAIT WHERE ARE THEIR FACES

I don't know what cd is an abbreviation of, but these things increase the power of an element marginally.

Next stop: a town that is suspended in the air on...tightropes or something. AWESOME! now?



One of the interesting things about this game: in battle, you can use anything you have equipped as an item. So choosing your boots will kick an enemy (which usually isn't as strong as choosing / attacking with a weapon) while armor and helmets tend to have useful effects as well. Using Sophie's Crown, for instance...

...heals Midia for a LOT. She can pretty much fight in perpetuity with this in the early game, as only bosses can outgun that kind of healing power. Too bad for Chezni that he can't make use of it.

In any case, the guy that airlifted our heroes across the continent now joins the team. Obviously he can fly, but unfortunately that ability never comes into play again for the rest of the game, save for exiting this area.

The second dungeon follows, and this one is above ground. Moments after this picture was taken...

...the bridge broke. Tiger had time to point out the obvious before our heroes plummeted into the river.

Swim, you magnificent bastards! SWIM!

After re-scaling the cliff, Chezni fixes the bridge. What tools? Who knew this 98 pound youngster was so industrious with the hard labor?

The primary enemies in this dungeon are "Purpbirds" (no relation to rapper Spaceghost Purp).

After reaching the top of the mountain, our heroes are face-to-beak with the Purpbird commander.

Second boss! I completely failed to get a good shot of this fearsome beast, which is unfortunate because it's one of the coolest-looking enemies in the game.

After the fight, Chezni engages in the questionable practice of drinking the wings of Purpbird.

Purpbird gives you wings!

Now Tiger leaves, just like Fritz. They all leave, just like dad. JUST LIKE DAD!

This would be a good time to point out that the abbreviations in this game are really annoying to deal with. I have no idea what half the items do without using them. Enix didn't want to code the game with the ability for longer names, so they just abbreviated everything awkwardly.

The next town is deep underground and full of lava. This is pretty cool, I gotta say. It's also home to... mole people.

Our heroes hear the tragic tale of Smash, one of the greatest warrior moles.

They go to the bar to visit Smash, since they need his help continuing the journey at this point.

The pianist at the bar is unsympathetic. The Godom Lullaby is the only thing that can wake Smash from his funk. It's a sad tune that evokes emotion in the listener. ...and that means you the player, as well.

In order to get the guy to play the Godom Lullaby, our heroes have to do a quick mini-dungeon. At the bottom of the well, they find...

...a baby? What the hell? "This world is mine!" he says before sprouting wings and flying off.

And also, lots of foes, including shroom-things and purple... what the hell is that?

This is where the enemy count begins to spiral out of control for the first time. Paladin's Quest is notorious for having obnoxious amounts of enemies attack at once in battle, and it begins here.

After a short jaunt, our heroes find the scale that they were sent here for. Hooray for busywork!

Returning outside, it seems that the town is getting overrun with lava.

After curing the pianist's wife with the scale...

...the two of them engage in a quick waltz.

The pianist then plays the Godom Lullaby, finally.

It causes Smash to snap out of his funk, as the song awakens his emotions.

A touching moment follows. Not bad, Paladin's Quest. You definitely have your moments. What is this majestic song? Listen for yourself:

Smash joins the party. Time to save the town!

He plants a bomb. Good thing Jack Bauer isn't in our party, because right now he'd flip out and beat Smash senseless while asking him where the rest of the bombs are.

Emphasis added by me

The town is saved, as the lava begins to drain away. That was an interesting, and memorable, section of the game.

Read the rest of this series at:


  1. It looks like the game hasn't fallen into the overwhelming suck of a difficulty well it eventually gets to yet.

  2. Midia's favorite song? Every Breath You Take.

  3. What's with these guys ditching the legendary hero while he's still a pup? Too embarrassed to baby-sit him, huh?

    And how is Chezni still functional after inadvertently destroying his entire town? He really must have been bullied and surrounded by lechers there, as is implied.

    So this game, like Cloud Atlas, has a plot point based on a song being so awesome it does something or other. It's a nice challenge for a soundtrack composer to have.

    If Chez didn't have m-wood when Midia woke him up, he certainly must have after hearing that.

    Good job summing up everything that was good about the game quickly. Yes, I read it backwards. Reading Twitter feeds is getting me more used to that than is likely healthy.

    1. Chezni is manly as fuck as most silent protagonists are. Just picture all of them like Golgo 13 except with a different appearence. That,s why they silent as fuck