Saturday, December 8, 2012

Lennus II, Part 5 - Smoky Hellscape

I continue my trek through the game that approximately one hundred people in the U.S. have played through. Next up, Farus and Friends (not to be confused with television muppets Fox and Friends) are back in Andel. And everyone is celebrating!

 For other entries in this series, see:  Lennus 2

Basically, everyone in Andel absolutely HATES our hero. It's easy to see why, the place is a charred hellscape of epic proportions.

A dungeon follows. It's a fairly confusing dungeon, something that is becoming increasingly common as this dungeon-heavy game rolls on. It's nice of the game to put these guys in to warn you when you're about to enter a no-save area. It's nice of the game to let you save anywhere (outside of places you can't leave, where you're barred from saving) in the first place. That would have been a big help in Paladin's Quest.

At the end, Farus is accosted by Granada's emo goon, Gege. Why this guy didn't just take the Seal and run away is beyond me.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA.

Gege traps our heroes on a platform surrounded by fire, but they get an assist from an unexpected ally: that giant golden guy who is made out of gnomes. What's he doing here?

After he gets them to safety, the giant proceeds to burn up in the lava. NO! NOOOO!!!



Alright, asshole, it's on now.

Gege hops aboard some sort of giant serpent, and what follows is THE HARDEST FIGHT IN THE GAME... up to this point, anyway. There are several tougher ones still to come. Now it makes sense that Gege didn't just leave with the Seal: he was waiting here to kill Farus off, something he's very good at. Even with my advanced levels this took me several tries to win, which would indicate that the game has caught up with me. This fight would have been more manageable with a fourth character, if only I could find one that is good enough to be something more than a drain on healing.

Victory is sweet, as it nets our heroes some fine Gubo Milk. Straight from the Gubo!

Here it is, the seventh Seal. But at what cost?

The place starts coming apart at the seams, and our heroes teleport to safety.

It seems that the latest cataclysm we've triggered isn't limited to that dungeon, as the surrounding areas of Andel all suffer a huge earthquake.

Wait, what's this giant Prometheus head doing here?

Farus should get the hell out of there before the good people of Andel realize that he's responsible for this too.

Returning to Eltz (hopefully we don't have to go to Andel any more), Farus and Friends return to Petro's Castle to have the eight Seals...uh...put away in a lock-box, or whatever the goal is. Unfortunately for them, the one guy who knows what to do with the Seals has just been kidnapped. Next stop: Finding Petro.

But first, I discover a tower that has sealed rooms for each of the eight seals. Each of these rooms has a particularly potent piece of equipment in it. However, it's clear that the equipment is balanced to whatever part of the game that particular seal is from, so the majority of it is little use to me at this point in the game. The last few Seals have some really good weapons behind them, though. The Fist of Fury, in particular, is Nikita's ultimate weapon and dishes out huge amounts of damage.

Next up is the dungeon that Petro is being held captive in. It's a Phantasy Star esque place filled with machinery.

At the end, our heroes are confronted by a squad of hooded bastards who think he's their bro.

They correctly point out that Farus basically fucked everyone over for the first half of the game.

Here's (I think) the leader of the hooded goons, Boozoo. Remember the name, because he'll be back. Zooooo.

THE BATTLE IS JOINED. I'm still handicapped a tad by having three characters instead of four, but given the power of Iris' attack-all spells and Nikita's new weapon, this fight really isn't that difficult at all.

After winning, we get a glimpse of Petro... crucified? My God! Note how it isn't an actual crucifix, a clever way to get around Nintendo's censorship.


To keep the goons from killing Petro, Farus... hands over the Seals. Yep, he gives the bad guys the Seals. Great work, Farus. Really, good job.

The dungeon isn't over yet, as now our heroes get to deal with an automated defense system.

I don't know what the hell these totems are supposed to be, but it's another easy boss fight for the same reasons as the previous one. In this shot you can see Nikita's energy punch wreaking havoc.

Our heroes emerge from the dungeon the worse for wear, but we have a new lead on someone who can help us. Wait, Midia, one of the two main characters in the first game? My God! Maybe the "Petro is Chezni" people are right after all.

The messenger is surprised that Farus knows who Midia is already. Apparently Paladin's Quest is now a play here on Eltz. They show it in the theater district when the performers of Cats take a vacation.

El Gemini: It is Spanish for... The Gemini. ...I'm not good at Spanish.

Trekking across the desert is rough, as our heroes contend with... WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE THINGS

The next town has Lennus' equivalent of Chocobos: bipedal snail-things that are slow-moving. Well, they can cross terrain that you can't otherwise, so they're necessary to proceed. In order to get one, you need to win a race.

On paper, this sounds really exciting. isn't, though. The sluggish beasts are barely mobile. ...why do they have a race with these things to begin with? Sometimes I think this game is comical on an Earthbound level, and is self-aware enough to know it.

::insert intense racing music as the racers plod along slowly::

This...would have been more of a "race" if the participants had just walked through it.

And now, I'm the owner of a brand new... bipedal snail-beast, creeping along on the overworld. Chocobo, this ain't

Here's Myra, no longer consumed with hatred. She's waaaay more powerful than she was before, so I recruit her. Still not as strong as my core three, but good enough to be worth having until I find a superior merc.

With the snail-mount, I'm able to reach the hidden Sky Shrine. Another weird-looking spirit lurks in here, waiting to ambush unsuspecting passerby.

It's stronger than the others, but not by much, and the fight is won quickly. Woe to you if you miss any of these spirits throughout the game. It seems like missing any of them might well screw you over later on. With this one down, I get the Sky spirit (isn't that a bit redundant as an element, given that Wind and Lightning are already in our repertoire?) and...

...this. Okay then! Two Spirits left.

Next up, our noble snail leaps onto a flying fortress, where we find Midia surrounded by force fields.

A series of extremely easy puzzles follow where you need to push statues onto switches to lower all of the force fields. I coast through this quickly, and it's onward to meet Midia.

Midia proceeds to unload all kinds of backstory. I remember Gabnid! He was reincarnated in an even more powerful form as Zaygos. Crazy that he can go so far as to create planets.

Since 80% of this game seems to take place on Eltz rather than Lennus, it's a wonder that they didn't call this game "Eltz".

Midia: "When you fight Granada, be sure to... Sweep the Leg."
Farus: "What? I can't!"
Midia: "SWEEP. THE LEG!"
Farus: "No! It'll kill him!"

So the Real Great Union consists of smashing the two planets together to create an asteroid belt a huge ball of fire that will... burn through space? I'm not sure how this is going to work. I wish I could ask Neil DeGrasse Tyson what he thinks. Then again, if I have a chance to ask him a question, it won't be about Lennus 2.

What? How?


Get the hell out of here, Highlander: The Source!

Midia sends Farus on his way. Now knowing just what is at stake in their battle with Granada, our heroes have a new sense of purpose. ...and hopefully they feel pretty stupid given that THEY JUST GAVE ALL OF THE SEALS TO HIM. Seriously, they just enabled him to cause The Real Great Union just to save Petro.

I snail it across the desert. That's Midia's flying fortress right there. Pretty rad.

Yep, we still haven't seen Raiga in a game. And it's safe to say we never will. Oh well. I was really hoping this game would explore the fabled "land of the Gods" that the original Lennus referenced so often. And how weird is it to have three hospitable planets in one solar system? More likely, Eltz and Raiga are moons for Lennus. This part of the game clears up what the deal is once and for all, though. They're three different orbs in space. Eltz isn't Lennus' western hemisphere like I thought, nor is it part of Raiga like I thought before that. Question now is, are all three of them planets floating in close proximity to each other, or are two of them just moons for the biggest one? Why am I devoting so much thought to this?

I realize that this is the biggest event since Jay-Z and Linkin Park came together for an album.

Next up, our heroes return to the port town to buy a boat. That's right, WE FINALLY HAVE A BOAT!

Wow. Uh... that's quite the noble sea-vessel we've got there.

The next area is an island. Here we find the fifth of the five instruments. Not sure what they're for, or why I have been collecting them all this time, but since I'm five for five I hope I get something for my efforts.

Also find this. Hello, Ladies.

Next up is a fight against... another Eagle-looking boss. I really feel like "Eagle" was just Enix's mistranslation of "Aqua" or something. This fight is quite difficult, but not as bad as Gege, and I scrape by.

Victory lowers the rock-barrier around this archipelago, allowing our heroes to sail away from Eltz's main continent. There are several islands to the west to explore, a Water Shrine to find, and, most importantly, the Gravity Tower that will beam us to Planet Lennus. What awaits there? Find out, next time on Lennus 2. Anyone who enjoyed Paladin's Quest should be pretty excited at this point in the game, and I'm no exception.

The Complete Lennus 2 Archive:

Part 1 - The Legend of the Nude Hero

Part 2 - Ric Flair

Part 3 - The Hoodwinking of Farus

Part 4 - Dragon, Dragon, Rock the Dragon

Part 5 - Smoky Hellscape

Part 6 - Meridian

Part 7 - E. Honda's Commie Paradise

Finale - Immortals


  1. How dare you slander the Muppets like that!

  2. your boat sinking? Also, why would this game need to avoid censorship if it was never released here?

    1. I'd think Nintendo of Japan was also against having crucifixes in their games. I could be wrong. NOA definitely wouldn't have allowed religious imagery, they didn't even allow sideboob in their games.

  3. you missed two village entirely I think. Three mercenaries too.

    Planet Lennus was really underwhelming for me AT THE END. I did loved it the first time I got there but seeing that some village where missing I found myself wanting to play the first game again.

    1. Same here, around half -way through the game I really really wanted to finally get on Lennus and see all the old village and palette but they changed too much of it. It's weird how the old game is way less advanced yet really charming in a way.

  4. "I would have burned your temple to the ground while you lay sleeping!" is one of the best curses I've heard all year. I like that these guys aren't afraid to tell you what they really think. And Farus deserves it! Love the graphics and imagery and weirdass monsters and Gubo, but the plot, man. Earth to Farus, giving the Seals away will kill way more people than just Petro.