Monday, February 27, 2012

Shien's Revenge (SNES)

Heat Haze

As one of the few games designed for the Super NES Mouse, Shien's Revenge filled a very small niche in the gaming marketplace. Back in 1994, I wanted this game for a time. I'm glad I didn't find it, because it's about a half hour long. And back then, new games were so few and far between that I could only get games with substantial play value. While this game may have eluded me in 1994, I got ahold of it in 2010 and finally gave it the playing I wanted to give it many years previous.

This box-art heralds the Japanese version of Shien's Revenge. I like "The Blade Chaser" a lot more, personally. Get ready... it's Shien's Revenge time.

Starring Charlie Sheen! ...what's that? I'm being told that this game does not, in fact, feature Charlie Sheen. Well, that's a disappointment.

In this game, legendary ninja Shien must rescue his hilariously unattractive girlfriend, seen here, from time-travelling bandits. Because in 90's game universes, time-travelling bandits would spend their time kidnapping women who look like Kenshin.

A little backstory. It seems the two of them are 16th century ninjas. As for why the time-travelling bandits want Aska... we can only conclude that in the Future Hellscape they hail from, super-white Kenshin-esque man-women are viewed as the most attractive thing in the world.

Using the SNES Mouse, you move a disembodied hand around and block/deflect enemy projectiles, while clicking to fire shurikens back their way. Moving the mouse across the screen fast does a slash attack, which is good for when enemies pop up in the foreground. It's a simple and fun game, but it's so limited in scope that it almost seems like some other game's minigame.

Our hero heads into the heat haze of the jungle of massacre, where he must do battle with...

...this guy. He's a formidable foe.

The boss fights in this game are among the best parts. They're fast-paced and frenetic... not to mention pseudo-3D, impressive for the time.

After besting the villain, Shien jumps into the time portal he left behind. THE GAME IS AFOOT, MORIARTY!

...looking at Shien, I can't help but wonder if Aska even wants to be rescued by this asshole. For all we know she's in some magical dimension where she spends all of her time being pleasured by man-servants.

Arriving in 300 B.C. Manchuria, Shien is immediately accosted by FISH PEOPLE. I didn't sign up for this! KENSHINLADY BETTER BE WORTH IT!

Killer piranhas attack! They're going right for the balls!

A water dragon attacks here, and it's a rough fight. Luckily, it doesn't go for the balls.

Stage 3 is 20th century France. This armored car is the only real "miniboss" in the game.

At the end is a strange castle, inhabited by this spirit-being.

OH YOU! Moving on to 13th century Mongolia, as the battle rages on.

Wait, what is that I see riding in?

My God! Mongolians!

The Lead Mongolian is this beast. This is one of the most fun fights in the game, and the music is particularly outstanding for it.

Unfortunately, he might be the easiest boss in the game, and the fight ends too quickly.

Arriving in 21st century South America, Shien reveals his true nature as a huuuuge bigot. Who does he hate so much?


The hardest part of the entire game is probably right here. You have to fight off a nonstop horde of bats that fly in and attack rabidly.

Boss #5: Wrestling Superstar The Undertaker™!

Not quite... this guy is half-cyborg, and HIS BRAIN IS OUTSIDE HIS HEAD.

An awesome fight follows. The animation for the bosses in this game is great.

Finally, we learn the identity of the real villain: Shrimp Tempor.

Warping to 500 B.C., Shien battles more villains. They're all dressed appropriately for the era now, for some reason. They did this in Mongolia, too. Why would they downgrade their weapons and equipment just to "fit in" in different time periods that they're trying to conquer anyway? Weird. It's like me travelling to another planet where they battle with sticks and tossing my plasma rifle into a lake so I can take over the planet using the authentic stick-fighting customs of the people.

Next up is a bad-ass minotaur boss. By Jove, the bad guys have a minotaur too? And the worst part is, he's blue.

He has a devastating ballerina spin attack. This is definitely one of, if not the hardest fight in the game.

Not if you keep handicapping your own troops!

Shien arrives at Tempor's Lair. Since time travel didn't pop up after the previous stage, I'm guessing this too is in ancient Greece.

A boss rush follows. Since the bosses are the best part of this game, it's a fun time.

Finally, Tempor! And he's...

.......the hell is up with Shien's face?

Oh yeah, Tempor is a nefarious crab. I hope he didn't give crabs to Aska. ::laugh track is heard::

After a quick and easy fight, Tempor pops back up and switches to Form 2.

This form is just the top half of his body. He reminds me of the Mega/Giga/Terra Mutants in Chrono Trigger.

Finally, I barely scrape out a win, and our heroes live happily ever...

...WAIT, HE'S BACK! ...but seconds later he keels over again. Weird. I never did find out why he kidnapped Shien's girlfriend in the first place. Then again, it doesn't really matter. Without the concept of girlfriend-kidnapping, 90% of early video games wouldn't have had plots.

Shien reflects on the elusiveness of the clitoris. Our heroes were zapped back to 1994, where they appear on a serene beach.

Shien throws his dagger into the ocean, and that's that. Decent game, was good to finally get to play it after all this time.

No comments:

Post a Comment