Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Dragon Quest III #4 - Vintage Kandar

Angel gets his signature coat as I go shopping. In other news, this game is exponentially better than any actual Buffy game that has ever existed. Licensed games just can't catch a break.

Who talks like this?

We have arrived in the India section of the game.

Some townspeople get kidnapped by ruffians, so our next mission is to infiltrate the ruffian base.

Wait a minute... these guys look familiar. They're way tougher than before, though...

Egad! Kandar has returned! ...we barely had time to miss him.

He's back, and he's clad in a revealing purple spandex bodysuit with nipples on full display.

"I came, I saw, I...heh heh...came again."

Kandar is even tougher than before. This guy is like the main villain in the first third or so of this game.

I barely eke out another win, and our mute heroes just let him go. Again. Why?

Our heroes find Vince McMahon's arch-enemy. With this, they can make everyone sneeze at will.

In any case, my next stop is the Shrine of Dharma, which means I can finally change classes. The game gets a lot more interesting now.

That isn't a Swatstika, it's a Hindu symbol for luck. Wonder how many people who played this didn't know that, causing a panzer division of irate parents to call Nintendo and unleash a blitzkrieg of complaints.

In this tower north of the shrine, I find the Zen Book. With this, you can turn someone into a Sage. Just need to get Spike a few more levels and he can automatically turn into a Sage. Can't wait to actually have four functioning party members.

At this point I grind to get Spike to level 20. Here we've got some Secret of Mana refugees.

I give the Zen Book to Faith, and now we have two Sages. At this point you can pretty much grind away and have fun with classes. Gonna get Faith to level 24 as a Sage (for Vivify, the weaker revive spell) before switching her to her final class, Fighter. Spike will probably stage Sage for longer, since I want him to have a major spell selection before he goes Thief. As for Angel, I'll probably change him to Warrior soon, but I'm trying to get him some more Agi first.

The first Metal Slime that I've encountered. As is tradition, these things give a huge amount of exp. Their cousin, the Metal Babble, shows up later and gives even more exp.

The first mention of Orochi, the next major villain of the game. It's basically Tiamat from Final Fantasy 1.

Whoa, awesome snowy lands, and...Mad Pecker?

ha ha ha har har hee


I find Ortega's helmet, previously worn by Buffy's dad. Or not worn, since he seems to have children all over the place and was opposed to protection of any kind.

Finally, I obtain a boat. This is pretty damn useful. Now we've reached roughly the halfway point of the game. There's a lot left to go.

At this point I need to recruit a fifth member for a sidequest that requires a Dealer. I put one character in the bank and create my Dealer, and it's a no-brainer who it should be.

Lorne, the stylish one.

Drop him off in this undeveloped area and he proceeds to start building a town. It'll be a full-fledged town later on, so this is worth checking back on.

"That three-minute boat ride from the recruitment shop to here... those were the best days of my life."

Fast-forwarding a bit, I obtain a lamp that changes day to night.  This is very useful for saving time, and will be particularly good if I decide to go back and open all the locked doors in towns that I didn't bother with earlier (since most of them required it being night-time to access).

This might well be the most erotic line in the game.

Gaia's Navel, huh? That's the second Secret of Mana similarity in the past little while.

Hicks... are not welcome here. Weird how not having a sword and shield somehow equates to being a hick.

Somewhere in the depths of the ocean, I find the final key in the game: The, uh, Final Key. Now I can open any door... I think. Onward.


  1. Wait a minute, I'm pretty darn sure you have a sword and shield! What's wrong with this guy!

  2. The "I want to be a young girl again" guy! An all-time classic!

    Congrats on finally getting out of bad character jail.

  3. I'm not sure if it's any more innuendo-y, but the Japanese name of the Mad Pecker is Dead Pecker. :)

    1. Apparently the Dead Pecker enjoyed a dose of viagra sometime during the port to the U.S.