Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Live-a-Live #10 - Potion No. 9

Time to start powering through this game to get it done. Next up, Dr. Toei shows Akira the giant mech he unearthed from some ancient excavation site. When did this turn into Xenogears?


Dr. Toei orders Akira to sit on the toilet, then stands there and looks at him. I'm not making any of this up. I wasn't making anything up in the last post either. This game is just MESSED UP.

 Dr. Toei plays some music as Akira does his business, then a pipe extends from the toilet into the mech's head. I'M NOT MAKING ANY OF THIS UP.

 Apparently that was needed to turn the mech on. What the fook. Akira now boards it and starts flipping switches. Then they just kinda leave.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON.

At this point, Dr. Toei can refine items from other items. Usually upgrades. Akira gets equipped with the best armor in the scenario after refining a few items.

 Also, he can wear Taeko's panties as a helmet. I KNEW IT.

 Akira brazenly strikes up a conversation with his hot adoptive mom while wearing her panties on his head.

 If you equip Watanabe's pants, they lower your IQ to NEGATIVE FORTY-FIVE.

 I bring the Taeko Panties to Dr. Toei to see what he can refine from them.

 Well, this is ominous...

 I don't know how he refined this from her panties, and quite frankly, I don't want to know.

Next thing we know, the skull mask gang is attacking the house. They must have taken umbrage to Akira beating up a few of them around town.

 Akira responds by dropping THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW on them.

 They escape, so Akira carjacks a random passerby's motorcycle. It's Live-a-Live: Vice City!

 Akira ends up on a warehouse dock, where he and Matsu confront the masked goons. Seems the goons kidnapped one of the kids from the orphanage too. Why are these guys such assholes?

 We beat them down and Akira does his Spock mind meld thing to find out what the deal is. Apparently this gang has been kidnapping people to bring them to...

...this lab on the outskirts of time. Now, our unlikely, panties-wearing hero must be the hope of a nation.

...or something.

Akira and his pet turtle go all Matrix at the entrance, taking out all of the security guards.

 Uh oh! Agents! Akira HolyGhosts them to death (that's a powerful counter) and we take the elevators down to the inner sanctum.

 First, Akira takes a moment to use the restroom. Is this some kind of running joke in this game? Because it really isn't that funny.

EVERY TIME. EVERY TIME!

 Akira breaks out his ultimate attack, which creates a bunch of exploding mirror images of himself.

 This lab is a fairly massive dungeon.

 In this room, we discover that Akira's spiky-haired buddy is actually the leader of the bad guys. Or was. Maybe he renounced them. He founded the group, though.

 Give me an A!

 Matsu rejoins the party midway through the dungeon. Seems he's still friend rather than foe, so that little plot point went nowhere.

 At the bottom floor, we find the evil laboratory where the skull-maskers do their cloning experimentations. ...or whatever the hell they're doing. One of the people they're experimenting on is young Watanabe, Akira's panty-stealing friend.

 Here we find the new leadership of the gang. They need 2000 people so that they can fuse them all together and create a deity. Jesus Christ, this is twisted. And I thought I was bad for wanting to have an orgy with 100 women at once when I was a teenager.

 The bad guys sic one of their attack-mechs on our heroes.

 This is Watanabe. Or at least, it used to be. They turned him into a machine, bent on destruction. This is some dark stuff.

 It's also the most difficult fight in the chapter, and possibly the most difficult fight I've had in the game thus far.

Our heroes realize that they just killed their friend, and they're pissed. That was moderately awful. This chapter still isn't over yet.

It has been a good two weeks or so since the last post on this game, so relive the past here:


3 comments:

  1. Some quick but twisted minds were responsible for this chapter. There's a ton here but I agree it's very hit-or-miss.

    I think Akira's friend Matsu and the guy who started the gang, Matsui, must be different people.

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  2. As messed up as sacrificing 2000 people is, as far as making a diety goes that seems pretty efficient. The Namekians could have put a stop to Freeza pretty quickly if they had fused maybe a dozen.

    Matsui being the gang founder doesn't necessarily mean that he's still a bad guy, though if someone mentions it, then it should come up again later. Otherwise it's a waste of text.

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    1. I don't really buy the whole Namekian fusion thing. I mean I don't think about it like "if only all those Namekians had fused, they could have beaten Freeza's goons easily". I think about it like it was a Deus Ex Machina thing the creators thought of much later, and the Namekians that got brutalized early on couldn't have done it because it hadn't been thought of yet.

      If you really count Namekian fusion as existing, it totally trivializes all the bad guys pre-Cell because it means Piccolo could have beaten any of them at any time had he just fused with Kami.

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