Thursday, July 24, 2014

Dragon Warrior IV RAW IS WAR Episode 4 - Thursday RAW Thursday

IT'S MY LIFE IN A BOX, AND IT'S HARD TO BEAT!

TAKING CHALK IN MY ARMS, IT'S THE SOUL OF ME!

YOU WANT FIRE, ASHES SEE ME LAYING FACE DOWN!

WHY AM I THE THORN! IN YOUR EYE!




"We've got a slobberknocker for you tonight, folks!"

Our heroes rescue Ragnar from a vicious backstage assault by Hollywood Necrosaro's New World Order henchmen. He's happy to join them, and the band is complete.

Here's "Big Kev" Keeleon Nash, the guy who easily Jack-knife Powerbombed the Bella Twins into oblivion in Chapter 4.

IT'S PAYBACK TIME, BIG KEV! Let's see how he does against a complete party!
Talk about a difficult fight. I had to rearrange the party and go DPS-heavy to have a chance. It's all about destroying him fast before he destroys you, and the longer the fight goes the worse off you are.

Our little buddy Healie, safe in the knowledge that Ragnar is okay, departs for greener pastures. Be well, Healie-sama. Be well.

Who do I get to fight next? That's right, the OTHER guy who moved into Santeem Castle...

...Balzack, and he's now the hardest fight in the game. Did he physically blow up or what? It's like 2000+ Scott Steiner compared to pre-1998 Scott Steiner!

Our heroes react to the arrival of Balzack...

I wasn't kidding, this is the hardest fight in the game. I'd have a hard time ranking anything else above it. Especially given that your party is mid-level at best by this point. FendSpell is crucial, as it blocks his devastating Snowstorm spells. ...except it also blocks your own heals. And his other attacks still land. Damn.

He then proceeds to stack everyone on top of each other and lock on a king-sized Steiner Recliner.

I eventually defeated him, but it took many tries and some more levels. I don't wanna talk about it.

Degeneration-X's day gets progressively worse, as they get arrested for bein' lewd. And thievery. But mostly for bein' lewd.

Our heroes end up getting sent to a nearby cave to find the real thief and prove their innocence.

"Do you smell what The Bak is cooking?" says the real thief, Tien With Hair II, before dropping Ragnar with a BAK BOTTOM! BAK BOTTOM!

I win again, and our good name is restored! Our heroes crotch-chop in celebration as 20/20 does a shocking expose on how they're destroying America's youth.

What might be the best shield in the game is acquired with the key that I got from that last quest. Zenithian gear is to this game what Erdrick gear was to the first couple games.

Cascade Cave is the next too-rad-for-the-NES dungeon. At the end I find the Metal Babble Sword.

It's a massive upgrade for Ragnar, and might be the best sword in the game.

Taloon takes a moment to make love to our former prison guard. And only a moment. In addition to being wildly incompetent, our man Taloon is a Two-Pump Chump.

Soon after, our heroes discover the sacred rooms of Pufpuf. No one knows for sure what goes on in these rooms...

...but only men can enter. Ragnar doesn't want to go in without the rest of the party, so they leave.

Later, Taloon goes back there when no one is looking.
Bao waoo waoo waoooo.

Bao-bao, wao.


"WELL...WELLLL...welllll. It is I, the quintessential muffstuffer...I mean...quintessential studmuffin. I don't know what I'd do if I woke up in the morning and I wasn't me. My name is Taloon 'The man whose wit is more tongue-in-cheek than a lesbian orgy' ...Gertner. Remember that name, for you'll be screaming it later."

4 comments:

  1. Man, Balzack got even more Zacked than Zack Ryder, and that shouldn't even be possible.
    Never been one for the fendspell strategy myself, I needs my heals. Level 19 is generally about the level I can beat Balzack at, but 19 is also when Cristo learns Beat, and he's more than happy to spam it against Balzack while I slam my head into a wall.
    I also pretty much never used Mara or Brey. Probably because they were auto-controlled and I could never trust them to cast what I wanted.

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  2. Does Healie really change into a human off-camera? Was there an explanation? What a mystery.

    Pretty intriguing to see such tough fights happen right after you get your band together.

    Yo are you running your party without the hero? You can do that? That's awesome.

    Cascade Cave looks awesome. Would like to see it with present-day effects.

    Ahh, the classic Pufpuf scene.

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  3. I stopped playing the game a couple year ago when I could not beat Balzack ( nes version of course) maybe I should try it again, I really liked it althought not as much as the three final fantasies.

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    Replies
    1. If you're talking about the big burly second form of Balzack, I think that was the toughest fight in DW4 outside of maybe the final boss. Much like Boozoo in Lennus 2, or Bloodbane in Valkyrie Profile, or Barubary in Breath of Fire 2. Must be something about B names.

      But yeah, if you still have access to your saves for that game, I'd give DW4 another shot and try to pick up where you left off. Enough level-building and you can beat pretty much anything in a DW game, and it's worth seeing the rest of it. Try switching your party up to the best configuration and doing some grinding.

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