IT'S MY LIFE IN A BOX, AND IT'S HARD TO BEAT!
TAKING CHALK IN MY ARMS, IT'S THE SOUL OF ME!
YOU WANT FIRE, ASHES SEE ME LAYING FACE DOWN!
Lucia, getting off of a rocky breakup with her lover Estea, stays in Zenithia. She sends her pet dragon, Doran, to help out instead. He's a badass tank, but he's slow.
At this point, we need to descend through a tower that tunnels into the depths of the Earth. It's a deadly area, to say the least.
At this point, we need to descend through a tower that tunnels into the depths of the Earth. It's a deadly area, to say the least.
This Zoma-clone is a regular enemy...and yet tougher than most bosses. Better off just fleeing.
And here's a Balzack-clone. Similarly tough, but not quite as bad as Double M.
Everyone is exhausted from their latest orgy knocked out from fighting the vicious enemies in the endgame zones, so Alena pulls the wagon while Nara sits in the back and smokes.
Finally, we reach the bottom of the tower... IN HELL. This must be their punishment for all the HLA.
The final area appears on the Return menu. Zenithia is Heaven, while Last Refuge is the un-pearly gate of Hell.
This area is fairly small in terms of overworld, though. We need to take out four barrier-generators to get access to Hollywood Necrosaro's base.
Here's Hollywood Necrosaro's Tour Bus. This is where the nWo conducts nWo business, brotherrr.
The four shield-generators are each mini-dungeons in trenches that branch off from the mainland. Each one has a difficult boss fight.
The first dungeon is over quickly, and getting to the end puts our heroes face-to-snout with...
FROM GREEN BAY WISCONSIN...MISTERRRRRR ANDEROUG!
....ANDEROOOUG!
There are three of him, and they can all infinitely summon new ones. Though the limit is three. So the obvious solution is to defeat all three at once. This is easier than you'd think with the high-powered group attack spells I have like Estea's Lightning, Nara's Infermost, and Doran's fire breath.
The second barrier I go to is presided over by a demonic ram.
He's a formidable foe, but nothing I can't handle. He dishes out quite a bit more damage than Anderoug, but there's only one of him.
...ANDEROUUUUG.
...ANDEROUUUUG.
Inside the Den of Gigademon, I encounter a puzzle that was "difficult"
enough to garner a spot in the Counselor's Corner section of Nintendo
Power. These statues move when you do, and block your way. It's pretty easy to figure out, all things considered. Interesting game mechanic though and I'm surprised we only see it this once.
Gigademon himself is a sly dog. I bet he's just trying to trick our heroes.
Of course, Taloon falls for it, because he likes him some loot.
Gigademon is Balzack 2.0, with a significant upgrade. Cristo was great in chapter two when he was controllable, but at this point he's the worst character in the game. The CPU constantly has him trying to use Beat against bosses, and of course it never works. Here we see him demonstrating his useless inability to heal.
In the PS1/DS/phone remakes they fix this, at least.
Mara posts up some impressive numbers against this guy with Blazemost. I wish Brey were as powerful as Mara is. His best attack is Blizzard, I believe, a 100-ish damage spell that hits all enemies. It's useful, but he really needed a potent single-target 200-ish damage spell like Blazemost.
Ultimately I have to bring back the A-team to win this fight, since the B-team just wasn't cutting it.
I switch back to the Taloon-led B-team for the fourth and final barrier dungeon. You can do these in any order, but this is the most difficult so I left it for last.
This is Necrosaro's right-hand man, and it turns out that he set Saro up to turn him evil in the first place. Wow.
He's a formidable sorcerer, but he's no match for Taloon's vicious sand-to-the-eyes attack.
....and I lose again. Would have won if Mara had kept using Blazemost rather than attacking him for 1 damage, because she lasted for a bunch of turns. I hate this AI.
I bring in the A-team, who have to deal with all of my problems themselves.
Even with THIS group it's a difficult fight, but I manage.
Time for Hollywood Necrosaro's nefarious lair, as Saro-cade '97 begins. Ragnar paints his face in Crow makeup as I gear up for war.
This has gotta be the height of NES-era 3D.
After the castle, which wasn't anything too difficult, there's a weird hole in the world that leads to the final battle. This vaguely reminds me of the end of Earthbound.
This is it. Final battle time. Necrosaro is on his Triple H throne and ready for action.
He's...an Esturk clone, eh? I believe he combined with Esturk's essence, or something along those lines.
Our heroes literally DECAPITATE him and he's still standing. Definitely not the pushover Esturk was.
Oh shit! He's The Thing!
Alena administers terrific blows (something Cristo has never benefitted from, as he cries back in the wagon). This hideous beast is a lot stronger than his first form, as is tradition. Throughout the fight, he continuously grows new appendages and buffs up. It's less The Thing and more Dragonball Z. Like something you'd see from Freeza or Cell.
Thanks to Dew of the World Tree, I'm able to blast him with Lightning without having to bog the Hero down with HealUsAll. Lightning is the primary source of my damage output (aside from Alena's strikes). With my lower-than-they-should-be levels, I need to pull out all the stops here.
Finally, Necrosaro kills himself against Ragnar's damage shield from Swordedge Armor. That was close, I was about to lose.
That's the end of Hollywood Necrosaro, and the nWo, as their era of darkness is brought to an end once and for all.
Morgan Freeman: "The nWo would return a week later."
Bahamut revives the one...yes, one casualty from the final battle. She went on to marry Bryan Danielson while having the worst sister in the world.
We get a cutscene, as our heroes live happily ever after.
Ragnar returned to Burland, where he led a quiet, orgy-less life.
Taloon returned to his wife and kids, who never found out what he did when he was away. What happens outside Taloon's house...stays outside Taloon's house.
The Bella Twins return to their life of mourning and being awful people.
Estea returned home, then realized she didn't have one.
Thus ends one of the best games on the NES. But how does the remake compare? Let's find out.
Freaky environment for this last run. Fighting your own clones is creepy too; odd this hasn't been done much afterward.
ReplyDeleteI like how you have a freaking Dragon leading your party. A cool-looking one.
Damn, this #2 is diabolical.
Whoa, the graphics for this hole in the world are on a different level. I can really feel the depth. The castles look great too; you're right.
It's been so long since I've seen this that the ending was new to me. Thanks. nWo forever.
Those imposters were the coolest enemies ever in 1992. ...and also some of the most dangerous since they can spam your best attacks.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if that nWo Tour Bus is related to the garbage trucks that were hauling Souled Out 97.
I used to use Doran in the endgame when I was younger too. When I got older I swapped Alena back in. Never took Ragnar out of the party, he's reliable and sturdy.
AI Cristo is notorious. I still used him though, because he had Healus and Antidote, which Nara never learned.
Necrosaro used the Secret of Evolution to evolve "past" Esturk. This is why when you first see him he looks so similar, but of course then he goes beyond that.
The final hit being from the Swordedge Armor is AWESOME.
Where's Alena's ending?
Someday in the future I'd love to see a Destiny of an Emperor series on this site.