Today on DQV: Our heroes put the "nasty" in "dynasty"
I get my latest monster recruit: This beefy, sweaty relative of Kandar.
Communist Leader Slalin is used to sending OTHER people to detention camps, not the other way around.
Here's the very first Metal Babble I've encountered all game. Turns out there's a Peninsula of Power type situation along the northeast edge of this desert continent. Only about 3-5 squares inland from the shore and only in the top few rows. Found this completely by accident. It has higher-level enemy groups that give 750ish exp instead of the normal 400ish for this point in the game, plus Metal Babbles can appear.
Bianca performs a magnificent blow, securing the win.
...She then levels up harder than I've ever seen her level.
Next stop is the actual desert kingdom. I got really attached to this whole area while my heroes grinded away and farmed gear.
This place is home to the Zenithian Helm, guarded by Queen Isis. It seems a previous Legendary Hero was laid to rest here.
Old women hit on Bianca everywhere we go. It's ridiculous.
Gaz tries on the Zenithian Helm, and...nope, it doesn't fit. So who's the Legendary Hero? Maybe Bianca should try it on.
Next up is a mountain-themed dungeon. You can really see the "early 16 bit" visuals at work here. There's a huuuuuge difference between early 16 bit RPG mountains and late 16 bit RPG mountains.
Bianca is preggers, and liable to occasional bouts of passing out.
From the looks of things, this turbaned merchant guy is also preggers.
Next stop is Granvania, homeland of Papas and current home of SANCHO.
Sancho is of course overjoyed to see everyone.
Bianca is gonna give birth to twins. I hope they grow up to be nothing at all like the Bella Twins.
You'd think Sancho was the one having kids. I always try to make room for this guy in the party after this. Unfortunately that probably isn't happening in this go-around with the smaller party size. There's too much competition for those crucial few party slots. Gaz, Bianca, the kids, Golem, and King Cureslime (if I can get one) are all gonna be fighting it out for 3 spots.
The next quest takes us into this confusing tomb to get a symbol.
This triggers the return of Kandar and his new friend Shield Hippo. "HEE HEE" says Kandar while pouring oil all over his nipples.
With Kandar slain yet again, Granvania is safe from being taken over by hentai.
Bianca just birthed the twins, and wants some DAMN PROPS.
::blink:: says Gaz when reached for comment.
Here we go, the moment of truth.
Well, yeah.
Gaz takes his place as King, and everyone gets wildly drunk.
Hours later...
Man, even the clergy are passed out drunk on the floor. This is just embarrassing.
In the middle of the night, someone kidnaps Bianca!
I could see a lot of people getting stuck at this point because the game is unclear on what to do. The Chancellor is also missing, so you can search his room to find these. If you remember which room he was in. Then use these as an item to get warped to...
...this nearby tower, which might be the deadliest dungeon up to this point.
Get past all the traps and scores of random battles, and there's still the fight with one of Bishop Ladja's goons. One of the tougher bosses up to this point, maybe THE toughest since the Snow Queen. However, this party is mad leveled up from me hanging out in the desert Peninsula of Power area for a few hours.
The horse guy is slain, and Papas is 1/3rd avenged. Plus Bianca is rescued. Of course, the end result is that our heroes get petrified, and ten years go by...
These speculators (and future owners of WATA and Heritage Auctions) find the statues and sell off the Gaz Statue for a whopping...
...2000 gold. Seriously? A full-scale Gaz Statue and it fetches 2000 gold? That's like $20.
They then shoo everyone away without putting the Bianca Statue up for bids. I thought that one was gonna fetch like 100k which would have been hilarious after Gaz got lowballed.
No word on what those plans entailed, but I think there's a Reddit thread somewhere about it.
Gaz gets posted up in someone's yard as a decoration, while demons slowly take over the world.
Well, everyone really thought this one out.
Pretty soon, this very family's son gets kidnapped by the demons, who are scooping up kids from all over to join their fruity club. The Order of Zugzawang or whatever it's called.
After ten long years of Gaz laying in the dirt while the bad guys run rampant, it's time to stand up and fight back. The Kids arrive! With Gaz un-petrified, they can form a power team.
I don't know why that sounded like a DBZ show intro, but I'm leaving it in.
Sancho is ready to get into a fistfight with the Young Bucks, so we give him an ice cream bar to settle him down.
Here we go, the party I've been waiting for: Gaz and Kids. They have Bianca's hair. If they had blue hair... we'd have to question whether Flora is the father and how that's possible.
Oh yeah, they start at level 5. That's a bit rough at this stage, especially when I spent a while level-grinding the other characters already. These two are WAY behind.
Shane, being the actual Legendary Hero, can equip all the Zenithian equipment I've been carrying around. This makes him instantly the strongest level 6 hero in the series.
Speaking of the strongest... now that the game's third act has officially begun, Golems start appearing on the world map. Recruiting one of these guys is a must, since they're the best tanks in the game. Tons of HP and defense, and hit pretty hard too. Hopefully I can make some room at some point to get this guy into the party.
A detour to the desert castle to pick up the Zenithian Helm is an important and quick side-mission. This makes Shane even more OP for his level.
Shane is basically Gaz 2.0, a fighter with a lot of white magic. He's potentially much better with magic than Gaz, though. He also has the more traditional Hero class repertoire, like Zap and so on. Steph got a bit shortchanged, as she's more of a basic black mage without melee ability. She's much less integral to an endgame party than Shane is. However, she gets some important buffs/debuffs in the near-term that'll help a ton.
More level grinding! Shane is now a high enough level to drink.
Steph turns 18! Picture of Jerry Lawler here.
Puckle the cat...has now learned how to wield blades.
Much like Batman and Superman, Gaz's mom's name is also MARTHA.
Next up, Rudaman needs help subduing the ancient monstrosity that is Bjorn the Brutalmoose. It can pretty much be fought any time in the third act, and is often best left until later because it's an endgame-level fight. I'm gonna try it right now though.
The quest involves traveling north to an island to inspect a jar that Rudaman keeps locked up. Why is it surrounded by corpses?
If the jar is glowing red, that means Bjorn Is Coming.
Bjorn was once sealed away, a hundred years previous. Rudaman goes off to prepare for battle while our heroes just kinda stand here. Well, thanks for nothing!
::Monty Python drumroll::
::drumroll continues::
Here he is, Bjorn. Well, here he's Buorn, and he isn't the Brutalmoose yet, that's the remake.
"Brutalmoose" sounds like a video game Youtuber.
So many [Descriptive Word] [Animal Name] Youtubers.
He actually wins despite all my grinding, and it's pretty clear I need even more levels if I want to do this fight with the new kids. Or better yet, wait until this third act to do the Peninsula of Power so the kids and Golem are included.
Metal Babbles are good, but inconsistent. I need a better farming target. I need...Goopi.
They frequently summon other Goopis (and Golems, if you leave enough room onscreen). Use one good attacker and two casters with "Don't Use MP" on, and you can pretty much just continuously take down 1-2 of them per round while holding down the A button and watching something else.
After about 30 minutes of this...WHAM. That gets me a bunch of levels.
Now Steph has the all-important Bikill and Decrease, which used in tandem will make Gaz and Shane do like 250 damage each instead of 70ish.
Spamming this until it stops working is the way to go. He sometimes uses Upper to boost his defense, which takes two shots of Decrease to un-do. Meanwhile Gaz wails on him and Shane alternates between wailing and HealUs. Once everyone's BiKill'd and Buorn's defense is fully debuffed, Steph can throw a Blizzard in there, though it isn't really necessary.
Easier fight than I had in the remake, despite having fewer characters to work with.
Victory over this very tough boss gets you the best key in the game. There's a ton to go around and get with this, as is tradition. Think we've got about...two episodes left of this one? Great game, I wish there was more of it.
Rudaman is pretty happy with the defeat of Buorn, though not quite enough to swing his hips yet.
TO BE CONTINUED
Yeah, the 3 party member limit is one of the game's few downsides.
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