Time for the Game Boy Advance to get Rated M for Mature.
Not to be confused with the guy named Kabuki.
Okuni is basically Helen of Troy and men across Japan vie for her affections a casual glance from her. If this were the present day she'd be one of those Twitch streamers who sells their dirty bathwater.
And we've got to save her, because Vice President Dick Hideyoshi is even less sensitive to a woman's needs than Dong Zhuo is.
Dong Zhuo: ::BELCH::
Here's Okuni, wiggling her hips to the delight of the soldiers and their gigantic hats.
"Dance for me!" screeches Hideyoshi.
BUT WAIT!
Master Magoichi of the Steel Rifle is here to put an end to this lechery! HE'LL set Hideyoshi straight!
...or he'll just pull up a chair. What the hell, Magoichi!
Oboro looks like a fish when she gets mad.
Tell me when I'm telling lies!
Magoichi snaps out of his trance, and we interrupt Hideyoshi's festivities.
He summons a large battle robot to destroy our heroes, then runs away. Damn you, Hideyoshi!
After another boss fight, we save Okuni.
She's virginal and makes sure to let everyone know it. In other news, she's the most powerful person in Japan right now and nobody realizes it.
Hideyoshi was going to get his grubby mitts on her until we intervened, it seems.
Our latest recruit is Yoichi, of "Yoichi Bow" fame. He's Okuni's bodyguard, who has been doing a terrible job, but we'll give him another shot here in the Onimaru Legion.
Next, our heroes aimlessly wander until they find a soldier sleeping on the job.
Onimaru tries to wake the guy up, to no avail.
The sly Magoichi knows how to wake him up. Fire a gunshot into the air?
Nope, it's way better than that. The guy continues snoozing. This guy is like a Snorlax.
Kabuki finally pays attention at this news. He is a simple man, who likes women and money.
Turns out a Genma has been putting the locals to sleep. Next boss fight!
At this point the difficulty of the game is getting a bit too close for comfort, so it's time to get into the forging system. This is one thing that sets the game apart from other Tactics games. You use Genma Stones collected from battles to forge new equipment that dramatically enhances your characters over anything else they can get. This also requires balancing things out and not letting particular stones get used up, lest you need them for something new. Decisions have to be made.
The Mystery Woman from earlier shows up, and now she's interested in potentially joining our heroes. However, it seems she's part-Genma. She's attractive so she's a good Genma who means well, unlike all the unattractive Genma who are of course pure evil. It's only logical!
She gets chased away by this bald guy who hates Genma. He isn't gonna suffer any of that "mean well" nonsense! He's...
...Ekei Ankokuji, wielder of the Genma-bane spear.
What's with this guy's SHOES? I understand guys wanting to be taller but is this really worth the suffering?
Ekei and Magoichi take a moment to go pee on a bush. Which bush? Probably Jeb. Jeb is a waste.
Ekei says that if the troops found them now they'd be in trouble. How damn long are they gonna be peeing for?
A lizardman shows up, acting like some kind of hall monitor. We'll pee where we please!
Our heroes do the rarely-seen Dual Sweatdrop.
At this point there's a side-dungeon called Phantom Realm that you can go to at any time. It consists of a chain of fights with enemies you've defeated already, that get tougher as they go on. It's good for running through if you're underleveled. It's this game's version of training in Tactics Ogre, or random battles in Final Fantasy Tactics. However it's also kind of a pain in the ass, because you have to go through a bunch of foes that are low level just to get to foes that are your level and give EXP.
It's also kind of boring, because every fight takes place in the same room. If anything, it's padding, but it does serve a purpose.
Next, we're introduced to Guildenstern, Nobunaga's top scientist.
While Hideyoshi is officially second in command of the Genma, this guy is potentially even more important and dangerous. Not sure if that's a skull mask or his actual face.
He's going to pull a Kefka and poison the river. Luckily, here to stop him is...
Shubuda shi shi shiiiinamo!
Ageha swoops in and steals the poison before he can unleash it.
We also get one of the strongest characters in the game here, Shura. No relation to the Shura path in Sekiro.
Remember this, he'll only say it once.
Guildenstern flees, and Shura turns his attention to Ageha.
She's part Genma, and he must destroy her.
But wait! She's attractive, so she must mean well! SHE MEANS WELL DAMMIT!
Yes, yes, we know
Onimaru is a forgiving lad, and encourages Shura to join the team.
....................
.....................................
Sweatdrop.
Next we catch up to Ageha and convince her to join the team. We'll keep Shura from murdering you, we promise!
This team is filling up nicely, and the game is about one third over at this point.
Next up, our pursuit of the nefarious Guildenstern continues. Seems he likes to conjure up sandstorms and bury towns with them. Really swell guy here.
To be continued.
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