Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Lufia: The Legend Returns #3 - Monkly Business

I resume the game only to find myself fighting MORE RED SLIMES. I'm like five hours into the game and I still primarily get attacked by the same enemies that hit for 1 damage. What gives?

In the next town, our heroes come face-to-snout with the Garland Gang. They're basically a bunch of assholes.

Our fourth character shows up here, a drop-kicking monk named Aima. She makes quick work of the Garland Gang.

...they then immediately retaliate by BURNING DOWN HER TEMPLE. That's some cold Outworld shit.

Aima joins, and she's very strong. Highest HP by far. She still can't hold a candle to SuperRudo in the power department, though.

Aima is a notable character because you don't see many ass-kicking female monks in these games, much less see minority characters to begin with.

Now that I have four characters Seena gets benched.

Our heroes confront the dastardly Garland Boss. And commence idiotic dialogue in 3...2...1...


Is "stupid" the only insult the creators of this game were allowed to use?

Another boss fight! This one actually looks different! The Garland Boss puts up a fight, but falls quickly to an Attitude Adjustment from SuperRudo. I wonder when the bosses will catch up to my overpoweredness?

That damn Gades has returned, and he blew up Aima's town for no reason. STOP BLOWING UP AIMA'S TOWN!

That's right! You need to at least tell us that they have WMDs first!

No optional fight this time. Gades just stuns everyone with Cutscene Lightning, then Aima's sensei shows up to fight him.

Gades whoops his ass, but takes enough damage to retreat. Much like Amon against Karyn in the previous game.

Aima inherits his super-move, and our heroes bury him. A sad moment, for sure.

What's sad in a different way is that three of my four characters have the same hair color. The two women are barely distinguishable from each other. Remember the previous games, where everyone had distinctive, different-colored hair?

Yeah! Everyone go up there and commit suicide!

...oh, he means fight Gades.

After crossing YET ANOTHER CAVE (I haven't been covering most of them, since they're all so boring) I arrive at the Tower of Death. Little-known fun fact: This place is a miniature replica of SuperRudo's penis.

Gades is at the top, and now the heroes are strong enough to take him on.

Aima has a personal stake in this fight. Once again, Seena gets benched in the second row. She belongs in the nonexistent fourth row, but I can't seem to make that happen.

This third fight with Gades is the one that you're supposed to actually win, and as such it's easier than the other two. His stats are even a bit lower.

Super Rudo soloed him for the last half of the fight. This was a rough battle, especially without Hi Bombs to spam. Overall, though, not too bad.

With that, Gades keels over. He's done...for now. Which is great, because much like the previous game, I'm getting tired of having to fight him so often.

Our heroes learn the truth about the Sinistrals. There are three more of them, and they're all stronger than this guy. ...yeah, it's a #rehash of what we've seen before. This is the third time we're "learning" all of these things along with the characters, and it makes me wish all the more that this game had featured some new faces and threats as far as Sinistrals go.

Congratulations, you've just beaten Raditz.

Time to go to the second of the four continents. That's right, this game is nowhere near done.

Rudo and Seena bang furiously for the entire boat ride while Dei and Aima make bashful small-talk upstairs.


The boat barely makes it to the next continent. Our heroes arrive in good shape regardless, aside from Rudo and his...injuries.

What the hell? This random NPC's name is Rudo! What are the odds?

That's it for today. This game may be mediocre and I may be rough on it, but it's VASTLY better than the follow-up Lufia: Ruins of Lore. I'll get to that.


  1. Man, cutscene lightning is no joke.

    The character color similarity is just a tech problem that shows itself more in a game with lots of characters. I saw the same limited color schemes in characters all the time in Destiny of an Emperor. You will eventually have blondes and green haired folks though.

    Damn Rudo, Seena is a rough road to go down. Especially with all the times that you can't see her.

  2. Aima is fine as hell.

    The scorched-earth tactics of the Garland Gang here is at odds with the "kiddiness" of the game. But is par for the course as far as quality of conflict resolution is here.

    "Let's end this at the Tower of Death!" LOLLL