Elder Scrolls: Arena #7 - Finale

Time to finish this game up and move on to greener pastures, as I go to the Imperial Palace and fight Jagar Tharn.

Originally Posted June 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #6 - Between Doors

I wouldn't say you're too fake if the first thing you do is be brutally honest while introducing yourself. Isn't that the opposite of fake? Unless she's faking being fake, thereby causing her fakeness to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now I'm just confused. It's like John Connor sending his dad back in time to father himself.

Originally Posted June 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #5 - Battle of Evermore

In the latest episode, I pass the halfway point of the game and go after artifacts.

Not sure why it has me confused with a Red Guard. Sting doesn't break bread with Bolsheviks.

Originally Posted June 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #4 - The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn

Bellydancers strut their stuff as the heroic Bob Marley Sting looks for the next piece of the Staff of Chaos. Which would be nothing more than a lit blunt if Bob Marley had created it. In this episode I get the second and third of the eight fragments as the battle for Tamriel dungeon-crawls onward. Stir it up.

Originally Posted June 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #3 - Indulging and Drowning Valley

The Queen of Rihad is smokin'. She could tell me where Fang Lair is, but first I have to do something for her. Unfortunately, it isn't sexual favors; it's another dungeon called Stonekeep. Turns out that each of the main story dungeons has another dungeon you have to do to unlock it. Generally the key dungeons are much easier than the main dungeons, with a couple of exceptions. So each dungeon has its own Nappa dungeon, more or less.

Originally Posted May 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #2 - Morning Glory Milking Farm

 

With character creation and the intro dungeon over with, I can set out in the actual world. It's one of the best game worlds of all time, and was especially unparalleled circa 1993. How much will this game actually be able to flesh out Tamriel, given the limitations of the time? I'm going to find out.

Originally Posted May 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena (PC, 1994)

I begin my long-awaited (by me) excursion into the highly-acclaimed Elder Scrolls saga. The saga begins with a bang... a 1994 MS-DOS poorly-lit, poorly-rendered bang. That said, this game is pretty sweet.

(Editor's Note: With Elder Scrolls Oblivion Remastered just recently dropping, it was time to get back into this series after a decade-long absence. I probably should have reposted these 4 months ago when Oblivion was hot off the presses and on everyone's lips. Better late than never)

Originally Posted May 2014, now remastered for 2025

Dragon Quest 1 Explorer's Handbook + Nintendo Power Strategy Guide Supplementary Scans

 

Today I've got a few dozen scans from the Dragon Warrior Explorer's Handbook (a fairly thick guide that came with the NES game) and the Nintendo Power Strategy Guide (a prettier but less in-depth guide that was included with an issue of Nintendo Power).

Look at how good people had it back then. Maps, spell lists, guides, all packed-in with the game. All of these things significantly enhanced something like DQ1 and turned it from a basic RPG to a whole world to explore that you'd be thinking about all day at school, waiting to get back to it.

Nowadays we're lucky if we get a slip of paper inside of a game. If people grouse about how good the entertainment industry used to be compared to now, they aren't just old grousers. They're right.

Dragon Quest 1 HD-2D, Part 5 - Finale

 

Gotta say, this remake is nice. It's a little too padded-out, needs too much grinding, should have kept the fights at one on one, and loses some of the "can theoretically go anywhere at any point in the game's progression if your character can handle it" vibe that the bite-sized other versions of this game delivered so well. However, if you want it to be a more substantial game in the style of last year's DQIII remake, then they landed that. It's high-effort, and I especially like the occasional artwork.

Dragon Quest 1 HD-2D, Part 4 - The Faerie Queene

 

Angry mobs suck.

Today on Dragon Quest, lots of new stuff happens. With the crests and the exploration, this version of the game has more in common with DQ2 than it ever did before. I like how these early DQ games feel like you're playing old literary tales like The Faerie Queene. It's a quality that the Ultima series also had in the 80's.

Dragon Quest 1 HD-2D, Part 3 - The Green Dragon

 

Previously on Dragon Quest: I got rofl-stomped by the Green Dragon, despite much preparation. This is presenting a much tougher challenge than your usual past versions of DQ1. Well, nobody said killing a dragon was supposed to be a given.

Today I'll need to go back and get it done whether I like it or not. Also, we've got Nintendo Power scans from 1989. Welcome back to the internet's most AI-proof site, because AI will never be this out of its mind.

Predators (2010)

Produced by Robert Rodriguez

Directed by Nimrod Antal

Starring Adrien Brody

Rated R

At this point, let the record books show that Predators is the best - and there isn't much competition - successor to the iconic original movie, which starred Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yes, Predator 2 was pretty awesome in its own kind of goofy way, and deserves to also be remembered. This movie, however, feels a lot more like a true follow-up to the first one. They could have just called it Predator 3, and made a conscious decision to give it a slightly more unique identity as a standalone entity. Matter of fact, the creators specifically said that the goal here was to have this movie be to Predator what Aliens was to Alien: a follow-up with new, badder, and more numerous variations of the foe. In that sense, I think they succeeded.

Originally posted July 2010, revived for 2025

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia - Act III

 

Wrapping "Halloween" up with one last Castlevania post. I wouldn't mind wrapping Shanoa up. Specifically, in mummy wrap so she can be Shishio and I'll be Kenshin. We can go around asking random houses for candy while people tell us "please leave, it's November" and "oh my God, there's a man with a sword outside! Honey call the police!"

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia - Act II

 

More Ecclesia, as I try to get into this game. Despite the highly-memorable main character, it completely failed to grab me in the first third or so of the game, and the linear level structure isn't doing it any favors so far.

Dragon Quest 1 HD-2D, Part 2 - Rescuing Gwaelin

 

When you think about it, this is pretty much the full-circle RPG. It was the first console JRPG in the West, bringing the playstyle of things like Wizardry off of the PC and onto the TV. Now here it is in a modern form. It's sort of like how the characters ingame are going full-circle with the events of their past.

Dragon Quest 1 HD-2D (Multiple, 2025)

 

I've played every other version of DQ1 under the sun, so I'm legally obligated to play the new ultimate version. Will I finish this game in four hours like the old versions, or will it pose a more robust threat? What kind of optional content did they add? Is there finally an Erdrick's Helm? Join me as I answer these and more pressing questions.

Ranking the Eight Igavania-Style Metroidvania Castlevanias

 

These games came out swinging right out of the gate, with Symphony of the Night setting an extremely high bar that the rest of the 2D 'Vanias worked hard to try and top. Did any of them succeed?

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia (Nintendo DS, 2008)

Shanoa is bringing sexy back.

Wait a minute. They also brought back Ayame Kojima's classic artstyle! Yes! YES! After two games of generic anime art that could have been anything, we're back to looking like Castlevania. Pretty awesome to go out with the old artstyle returning, but it would have been really cool if they'd continued that train of thought and also brought the Belmonts back for one last hurrah. Ah well.

Vampire Killer (MSX2, 1986)

 

The MSX2 adaptation of Castlevania, this game pre-dates almost the entire series. Released in Japan, Europe, and Brazil, but not the U.S., it's pretty much a lost footnote at this point. For whatever reason, it hasn't been ported to any modern collections. They forgot about Vampire Killer, much like people once forgot about Dre.

Gameplay-wise this is much closer to the NES game than the arcade Haunted Castle was, and follows the Metroidvania formula that later games in the series would frequently adopt. Well, sort of. It still takes place within confined stages, they're just more of a maze than a simple point A to point B. Which makes this...the first Sorta-Metroidvania in this series. The Protovania.

Note: Castlevania Bloodlines on the Genesis was also called Vampire Killer in Japan, but it wasn't a remake of this game or anything.

Bloodstained - Dominique's Curse (Playstation 4, 2024)

 

The second "classic mode" DLC for Bloodstained effectively functions as its own game. The first classic mode was a short linear-style action romp with Miriam taking on foes from the base game, while this one adds a bunch of entirely new areas/foes and gives you a totally different character to play. Far as I'm concerned it's a new game. I'm impressed because they didn't have to go the extra mile with it, they could have just cranked out another regular classic mode with a new character. We even have new items, and this one is styled to be as much like Simon's Quest as possible which makes for a pretty interesting game.