Today on Onimusha Tactics: Nobunaga's second-in-command must face the wrath of our heroes!
Hideyoshi wants to take Mitsuhide to task for being unpatriotic and not following Nobunaga's orders. Suffice to say, Mitsuhide's only loyalty is to the land of Japan, not its leaders!
Onimaru and friends arrive at the castle in time to keep Mitsuhide from being besieged. This is their first official meeting.
And it turns out he's been betraying Nobunaga all along... as that Zhuge Liang guy!
So...he really is a backstabbing Judas then?
While they're yapping, Hideyoshi sneaks around and kidnaps Mitsuhide's daughter!
That bastard! He'll pay for this!
This is a big acquisition, the General Leo of the game. Best of all, he didn't get killed.
Here's Nagahide, the last of Nobunaga's generals from that meeting where Mitsuhide spoke up. Seems like long ago now.
Nagahide has doubts about fighting Mitsuhide and trusts Mitsuhide's judgment... to an extent.
However he's on Nobunaga's side above all else, so we'll have to do battle.
HOWEVER! He empathizes with us due to Hideyoshi's class-less family-targeting, and steps aside. He won't join us in our little war, but he won't get in the way either.
That damn Hideyoshi! What does he plan to do with this supple young miss??
Prepare...for ninja fighting action!
Our heroes are in hot Hideyoshi-pursuit, when they find a letter from Mitsuhide's daughter:
It seems that in order to rescue her, we need to find something called the Tortoise Jewel.
This freaky-looking boss stands in our way. It's another boss. Not a lot to say about the actual individual fights in this game. They're all a bit on the simple side.
Onimaru feverishly searches for the Tortoise Jewel. Why is this thing so hard to find??
Now the entire team is spending some serious time in Garashia's basement, trying to find her Tortoise Jewel. Is this some sort of prank?? Dammit!
Monsters attack, and Magoichi dishes out rifle power from a distance. Magoichi has really become the second-best character in this game behind Onimaru and his SSJ form.
Mitsuhide, like General Leo, has an uber shock-element AOE attack.
After another battle, Okuni gets a new move where she thrusts with her firm quads. With this she can take on multiple foes...simultaneously!
Elsewhere, Nobunaga is getting ready to do...whatever it is that he's planning to do with Garashia.
Oh no. He's going to sacrifice her to his Genma underworld demons.
This is sorta like Big Trouble In Little China. Was Garashia the only green-eyed woman available?
He swings, and...that's probably it for young Garashia.
She didn't deserve this, damn it!
Cross Nobunaga, and he will MURDER YOUR FAMILY.
Hideyoshi's dickitude knows no bounds!
This is about as cool and chill as Hideyoshi ever gets. He made me a tombstone? Bro you shouldn't have.
The battle is joined!
Much like most of our politicians, Hideyoshi has "other priorities" and stays back from the fighting.
Here's the Mitsuhide Vs Hideyoshi Tale of the Tape:
Hideyoshi has a lot of HP and a move called STRAIGHT TO HELL.
After being defeated, Hideyoshi explodes in a cloud of purple smoke. He's like Prince, only evil.
But wait! Hideyoshi isn't dead, and his spirit retreated into Hell.
I guess we're going back to Hell for the game's finale. Down here, we find...
...Ashton Kutcher and his mom?
Going further into Hell, we find...
...Saddam Hussein??
And even further, we find...
...My God! Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld??
Not surprised this guy is down here after all the folks he murdered. Turn back? No. So wait, if I kill these guys again down here in Hell, do they cease to exist for real? I think those are D&D rules.
Editor's Note: I don't think any of these guys are actually dead. It seems they just escaped earlier and followed Nobunaga down to Hell to carry out his diabolical plan.
Nobunaga is going to channel the resentment of the spirits of all his victims and summon their ghosts to unleash on the world. Sort of like Aragorn's scrubbing bubble army.
I don't know man, I'm kind of over all of this at this point.
Onimaru goes right to SSJ3 to take on Guildenstern!
...and absolutely demolishes him! That's another one down.
We're almost to the bottom of Hell now, and only Hideyoshi and Nobunaga await. Vengeance will be Mitsuhide's!
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