This game was $3 on PSN so I checked it out to see how bad it was. It's bad. It's real bad. So instead of doing something good like Highlander or, I don't know, Dragon Quest VI, today I'm serving up this helping of gruel. By God though, it... kind of works.
The game starts your character out basically wearing nothing, which tells you right off the bat what kind of game this is. Keep in mind that we knew nothing going in, because it isn't like there's a wealth of Hentai Vs Evil information out there.
There's a robust character editor where you can do everything from adjust the character's height to their bust and hip size to their hair color, and also flip between a few outfits. The other two characters aren't selectable yet and we can see them in cages here.
One minor (so to speak) complaint: The height slider is only there so you can make them look like little kids. Combine that with the bust slider cranked down and they can literally be little kids, while still being all sexualized. Why pander to the pedo community? Fuck the pedo community!
Other than that no complaints yet and I'm not going to get all judgmental about the sexualization of these ladies. It's Hentai Vs Evil, you kinda know what you're in for here.
We get a choice of three levels (that's all the game has) and two modes: Rescue and Survivor. Rescue is basically the "main story" where you rescue a girl from each level and that becomes your playable roster. Survivor is basically just "survive as long as you can" and is I guess the postgame content. For difficulty we have Easy and Normal, only difference I can see is that the enemies move towards you a lot faster on Normal.
So right off the bat this game is pretty basic, grab a gun and start unloading on the HORDES OF UNDEAD that perpetually descend on your character from all sides.
They seem to spawn constantly so you never have any respite from all the enemies homing in on your position. For weapons we've got a Shotgun, AK, submachine gun, sniper rifle, and grenade launcher. That last one seems to be a rare spawn. Personally I prefer the shotgun 90% of the time, as it historically works the best for zombie-blasting.
Side note, the character waists in this game look ridiculous. They're like four inches wide.
There's a photo mode on the character select where you can get a gander at these ladies from all angles, and there's a "vertical movement" control to make sure you can get the camera right under them and look up. Of fuckin' course there is. Sickos.
Heart boxes fully restore your health to 100%, and it's a good thing because the enemies can chew through it incredibly fast.
Not only are there zombies and reapers, there are also orcs. Lots of orcs. How did this unholy alliance come about?
Run around a bit and the enemies form a conga line to chase you, making them easy pickings. The AI in this game isn't exactly cutting edge.
Occasionally you find this blue bullet powerup that makes your shots do like 10x damage (and knock enemies backwards) which is pretty awesome.
And uh, that's about it, there isn't really anything else to this game. You have to defeat 12 reapers (they endlessly spawn so it isn't like you have to find them) before you can unlock the cage and rescue the girl for that level. Though I wouldn't be surprised if the cage just opens either way, given the programming at work here.
Case in point, everything's on the same level so you just kinda can't fall into anything. This pool is missing the water and you walk on it like it's frozen. The game feels like it could have used a few more months of work. Maybe get it up to ten levels, add some more objectives, and fix all the bugs and you'd have something here. I mean it's not that far off from being a reasonable semi-freeware game.
The first caged lady is rescued! Killed a few more reapers than was needed. WE GOIN FOR THE PLATINUM, BAY BEEEE!
Vampire lady gets the same character editor. I think she's my least-favorite of the three though, by a lot. But wait...there are 3 levels to beat, 2 left, and only 1 remaining cage. Is there a secret fourth character?
The next level is the Pirate Bay, which is a good place to get this game. Vampire lady sports tasteful sideboob. Wondering why they all start with different hair color than on the title screen.
Water in this game follows GTA Rules: Step into it too far and you INSTANTLY DIE.
This level is actually the most impressive of the three and seems like it had some real work put into it. Probably most of the dev time.
Putting aside that the microscopic waists make it look like these characters have broken backs, this is actually a fair bit of fun. You just run around blasting evil hordes while blood flies everywhere. It's simple, it's to the point.
Resident Evil 4 only WISHES it could be Hentai Vs Evil. All those other zombie games were just pretenders to the throne.
Third character rescued. I presume this will be the supple redhead?
Well she started with different hair, fixed it quickly though. Yeah, it's the supple miss. I think we have a new favorite.
The last level is the city, where zombies have taken over and chase our redhead around with their grabby hands.
Pretty sweet view of the city over here. I mean they did alright with what they were working with.
This level is probably the most challenging due to the buildings creating a more close-quarters situation with the bad guys. Good on them for putting the hardest level last, I wasn't expecting that.
Last cage found! And...it's the first character you started with, who you already have and could even be playing as. Uh, yeahhhh. Alrighty. I thought it'd be a new fourth character, or maybe it'd be The President or something. That would be cool, get The President out and then roll credits.
...this game doesn't even have credits though, it just bounces back out to the menu.
Going for the platinum trophy gives this game a wee bit of replay value. Just playing through it is pretty much enough to get almost all of the trophies since they're all just awarded for defeating enemies, picking up powerups, or beating levels. Nothing hidden.
Annnnnd there's the platinum. Took about 45 minutes to beat the game (and that was going intentionally kinda slow, could probably do it in like 20 if one rushed it) and another 30 or so to get the plat.
Final verdict on Hentai Vs Evil? 1 out of 10, but also awesome. I realize this is confusing.
Here's a recording of the playthrough with commentary. That's right, we're getting the most out of our $3 purchase!
Here's...the full platinum trophy. WTF.
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