Monday, April 27, 2020

Trials of Mana, Part 2 - Des Filles

This game is full of smooth, sexy, luscious characters. Rated PG!

The kingdom of Altena is ruled over by Queen Not-Zeal, seen here in a giant poofy dress.

I like this starting area / intro because it takes us into some snowy landscapes that look great.

Altena's army is composed entirely of women in Sexy Vivi costumes.

Queen Zeal has the Crimson Wizard with her. I thought I smelled sulfur.

Angela is learning spells from Jose here, but she's a terrible student.

Angela's primary stat is Int, and she's the damage-caster of the game. The Black Wizard. Her ability to destroy things is second-to-none, though she has very little defensive power. Now that dodge-rolling is a component of the gameplay, I wouldn't be surprised if she's a completely OP character later on. She's also the only character to get double A's in stats: Spirit and Int.'s the only thing she has double A's in.

"Will you stop!" says Gorilla Monsoon when reached for comment.

We get a flashback. Instead of her parents being dead, Angela's parents are just awful people. Well, parent. Not sure what happened to the dad. Maybe the mom wrapped him up in her web and consumed him for sustenance.

Angela isn't any good at magic, probably because she doesn't actually train or care about her classes. At this rate she'll never ascend to the rank of Random Sexy Vivi.

Angela is soooo bored. "I wanna go to the club and meet guys" she says. "School is like, totes lame."

Angela is hanging out with a Sexy Vivi when Victor walks in. It looks like the beginning of the best dream Victor's ever had.

Angela's jumps really are elegant and graceful.

Angela's Mom is hot too. It's unfortunate that she's all evil and Queen Zeal-y.

Angela is forced to flee or be sacrificed. Her days of partying and boys are now over, and she's gotta fend for herself in the wilderness.

...with no spells and a really weak weapon, since she never paid attention in class. Also, no clothes. She's actually super-unprepared for this scenario.

She's got a great fighting pose though, as I lock horns with...

...her intro fight, this random fish-man. Secret of Mana says hi.

I really like the stat overhaul. Every stat does something valuable for Angela. I actually put two points into Strength. Not just to help in this first area (which it does, a lot, as she hit for significantly more) but also because two more points to Strength will get her a passive damage boost for attack spells. Meanwhile, Spirit has its own useful abilities. Looks like Angela can get Holy Bolt from Lumina early on, which I thought was a Charlotte-only spell.

I went ahead and got this one, though I'm not sure why because it's locked until she gets Lumina, and I'm only playing the intro here.

I mentioned how nice the menu screens are in this game. They're neat, well-organized, and easier to negotiate than in the original game.

I hope Angela is such a popular character after this game that Square-Enix goes ahead with their idea of having the main character of Final Fantasy 16 be a female sorceress.

This first area is actually a tremendous place to farm. It has level 1 Sahagins, which are typically later-game enemies, and they drop Silver Item Seeds.

Here's the route I followed...for several hours. This is the only place in any of the character intros to farm Silver Item Seeds, and you can really stockpile them for later. Can also get regular Item Seeds from the rabites. Get enough of the Silver seeds and you might never have to worry about equipment.

Trials of Mana Presents: The Quentin Tarantino Shot

After fainting in the cold, uh... Angela wakes up in a nearby...uh...she wakes up inn?

…I'm sorry, what? Just keep scrolling.

Anyway, Angela wakes up from her nap...uh...Jesus Christ, game.

This shopkeeper...offers me the same weapon I already have equipped! IS THIS A JOKE?

Snow Hamlet Alrant is the next area, and it has this beach where you can chill and enjoy the scenery.

The music of this town. Note the subtle wind howling. They nailed the atmosphere.

Here's a fortune teller with weird eyebrows. She tells everybody to go see the Priest of Light. Talk about passing the buck. How do you even see?

This guy is irate because he got the same treatment from the fortune teller.

Angela rides the world's luckiest boat to her next destination, and that's it for this intro. Sadly.

We go from impossibly-gorgeous to impossibly-gorgeous, as Riesz is our next intro. Unlike the other characters, she doesn't have a primary stat, or an A in anything. In fact, her stats are very average across the board. Her beneficial trait is that her weapon has a longer reach than anyone else.

Riesz is completely succulent, and took 3 years to be lovingly crafted by an entire team of Korean animators. This detail is what game devs could only dream of creating in the 90's. I'm just glad my PS4 finally has a reason to exist.

Her intro battle is complete with more intense-yet-sexy posing than the entirety of Wonder Woman.

Another character with beautiful leaps, Riesz can strike with the fury of a dragoon.

Nothing penetrates Citadel Laurent, not with Riesz standing guard. When it comes to this castle, she's like Dot Matrix with the Virgin Alarm.

...She's a bit of a dorkus though, unfortunately.

Citadel Laurent's entire military is female, like the Sexy Vivis of Altena.

...that's their first mistake. HYOOOO.

Their second mistake was King Joster, this do-nothing over here. He's enjoying the fruits of being the only man in the castle while the women do everything. It's exactly like a lion pride.

He spends his time randomly yelling "I LOVE LAMP" and gave his pre-elementary son Elliot the key to the wind machine that keeps their kingdom from immediately getting invaded.

Our dose of depression for this intro.

Meanwhile, creepy twin ninjas Bil and Ben are going all Pennywise and tricking young Elliot into turning off the castle's wind barrier.

"I've got a clue pointing this way" says Bil. "Oh yeah? I've got a raging clue pointing that way."

Damn Bil and Ben! What a couple of creeps. If only they weren't so good at solving mysteries.

Riesz is gorgeous when she leaps, like Angela. Her jump attacks are all kinds of stunning.

Here's a demonstration of the range of her light attack.

Taking a moment to appreciate Castle Laurent before it all goes to hell.

Bil and Ben, because one Pennywise wasn't bad enough.

"Heh, I've got such a clue right now" says Bil.

Elliot is easily tricked, because HE'S LIKE FIVE WHAT DO YOU EXPECT. And yet he's got...

...the key to disable the castle's forcefield crystal, despite being LIKE FIVE.

Welp, the castle is fully open to an invasion now. That was easy. I'm getting some Final Fantasy IV vibes from this part of the game, like the invasion of Fabul. As we know, all of those mid-90's Square games are closely related in DNA.

Riesz of course bolts without making sure Elliot is okay. Because fuck 'em, that's why! I thought maybe they'd change that for this version because it honestly seemed like an oversight in the original version, like they just didn't put the scene together right or something.

Riesz battles ninjas! They're just sissy level 1 ninjas though. Bil and Ben are tougher.

Unfortunately...they already got her father. THERE WILL BE NO HEALTHY FAMILIES IN TRIALS OF MANA.

Isabella looks like she's having an orgasm here as the kingdom is burned by the forces of Flamekhan, who is weak against Boob Type.

Riesz wanders off. I noticed that they didn't have her cry during this scene, even though in the canon artwork she does exactly that. Maybe the devs thought it'd make her look weak, I don't know. A bit disappointing to see this iconic scene not realized, though.

Riesz takes off her mother's ribbon. Look at that majestic hair.

At least we got the bridge-walk where she looks back at the kingdom for the last time in a while.

This game starts off ROUGH for every character. One of the most depressing RPGs out there. There isn't much story after the intros, though, and they all end up getting payback on their primary antagonists.

That's another intro down. What a mind-numbingly gorgeous character. Two left.

1 comment:

  1. Angela really is unprepared!


    This game looks fantastic.