Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Kirby and the Forgotten Land, Pt 2 - Amber Turd


Somehow, I went into April with five games "in progress" on here at once. That has never happened before. It's usually one at a time, sometimes two. Can I handle five games at once? Hell no I can't handle five games at once. So I need to wrap all of those up before I embark on something new. I'm down to four now and soon I'll finish this up too.

Note: This game is not, in fact, a turd. It's very good!

With World 1 down, we've got five worlds left. Next one is a water-themed world and is visually stunning.

This one has way more colors than the others, but it's still full of the ruins of the old world. In this case it looks like what used to be an oil refinery.

Glider minigame, these are awesome when they pop up. Feels more like something that'd be in a Sonic game.

I probably went into this in Part 1 already: The secret side-levels are a fun time and present the main challenges of the game. They're all optional which works out for a game like this. People who can't handle them don't have to do them, and people who want a bit more out of the game can make sure to do all of them.

Here's Kirby's house. Have we ever seen this place before? Why is the bed arched? HOW DOES HE NOT ROLL OFF?

The next boss is Not-Whispy Woods. This guy couldn't carry Whispy Woods' jock

At this point you can get a job as a barista. Lord knows my generation does enough of that in the real world, so I'm good. Do your own baristing, Waddle Dee!

World 3 is a fairground-themed world, which is a pretty sweet idea.

The first thing it has you do is escort a bunch of ducklings, who line up and follow you around. MY GOD.

Next, Kirby becomes a giant nose and rides a rollercoaster. This game is probably a 7 out of 10 in actual gameplay, but man, it's like a 10 out of 10 in terms of creativity and just being fun to look at.

Kirby inflates to epic proportions with a hose. What in the hell

This lets him spit water while he gradually deflates. He's like a fusion of HHH and Steph.

The hardest miniboss in the game, IMO, is the hammer-swinging monkey guy. In this one particular challenge minilevel, you also have to deal with the floor.

This hands me my first loss in the entire game. The undefeated streak is over!

Next, Kirby becomes a car and races around. It's one thing to have lots of minigames, it's another to have your character taking on completely different forms for all of them.

What is this, the CTHULHU RIDE?

Well, this is creepy...


This all feels a bit Moonside-ish. What are the odds we someday get an Earthbound remake? Do we even want one?

Here we go, the next boss. But first...

...I go and upgrade the sword with all of the emblems I've been getting from doing optional stages. This turns it into the Soulsborne Two-Hander.

"Hey, you can't do that" says the arms merchant.

Kirby: "Wrong." ::BOOM::

Seriously though, this is a Souls weapon right here. Kirby carries it the same way, and it has a small delay in swinging before doing a ton of damage. This requires you to have some timing skills, and gives your attacks some weight. That's right, Souls influence has reached a Kirby game.

This boss is basically The Cheetah of DC fame, and pretty agile to be going after with a two-hander.

Next up, Meta-Knight appears and challenges our hero to show up at the Meta-Knight Cup.

This transpires in an arena, and I think it's more optional stuff.

This is essentially a quick boss rush, culminating with a fight against Meta-Knight himself.

::Kirby falls to the ground and backs away slowly::

Once I get past my nemesis the hammer-ape, IT'S TIME. FOR THE MAIN EVENT.

Also, thanks but no thanks, I'll stick with the giant two-hander.

This fight is probably the best moment of the whole game. You've got the crowd going wild and a sword duel.


THISH! ISH THE QUICK- ...wait, wrong post. Besides, Kirby can't behead Meta-Knight because he's got no neck.

This evolves the sword to its next form. I don't know, I definitely preferred the second form because it was new. This one's smaller and more generic, functions pretty much the same as any normal sword in the Kirbyverse. At least it's quicker and presumably does more damage.

The fourth world (of six) is the snow world. This is EASILY my favorite world in the game. It's gorgeous and they go all-in with the post-post apocalyptic theme here.

If you're keeping track, this means for world themes we've got: Grasslands, Water, Fairgrounds, Ice. And still to come: Desert, Dark.

This place is modeled after modern-day London, only completely frozen over. For people who love London, it could be depressing, but I'm too busy being in awe of the vistas.

Once, this was a bustling city full of energy. Before... The Machines.

The Machines, Sarah.

Place is making me want to visit London again and watch Doctor Who.

One of the things this game does extremely well: These shots at the beginning of levels where you get a nice view of the landscape.

Subway turnstiles. Once, these gave hooligans a chance to practice their jumping skills. Now, they just stand here, silent.

Escalators. They don't move anymore, power's been out for a long time.

So what happened here? I don't know. They never tell you, much like that quick shot of post-apocalyptic Earth in that other Kirby game. Maybe it's best to just leave it to the imagination. It might not have even been an apocalypse, since we're due for an ice age within a few hundred years as it is going by Earth's history.

To be continued

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