Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap - Part V

Our next stop is Lake Hylia. That isn't it on the left there. It's a lot bigger than that, and it's our next destination.

Link partakes in some drug use. "Whatever gets me up in the morning! This hero job is thankless!"

Bring the mushroom to the shoemaker and he finally stops sleeping on the job.

Unfortunately, while you can move pots without equipping a bracelet in this game, you DO have to equip the Pegasus Boots to use them.

This was the second-most irritating aspect of Link's Awakening besides bracelet-equipping, so it's unfortunate that it arises here. There's only so much they can do with two buttons, though.

This would be a given in most Zelda games, but I have to go learn it in this one.

With those boots, I can cross the swamp by speeding over the mud (before, I would sink if I tried).

Miniboss fight with a knight. If this were a 3D Zelda it'd be a good time to do some backflips.

The White Sword is such a cool weapon. Speaking of weapons, defeating this guy nets me the Bow. It's hard to believe I didn't have it already at this point in the game...almost as hard to believe as the fact that I haven't used the Boomerang for anything.

A secret sword-master is found out here, but he's out of TP and won't help until I bring him something he can use. Right now I only have four Tiger Scrolls, so I'll have to return later.

Next thing we know, Link is kinstone fusing with Talon! Malon was horrified when she walked in.

That nets our hero the Lon Lon Ranch key. Actually, in one of the more gimmicky sections of the game, I had to go outside and shrink down just to get into this house and get the key so that I could go back outside and enter the house at normal size I'M SO LOST

Here's the Fortress of Winds. It isn't an element dungeon (those do indeed go in Final Fantasy 1 order, meaning the next one is Water). This is merely the dungeon where you find the Ocarina.

This highly boring. Not a lot going on in here.

There's another major treasure to get here, and it's the power to Become Mole.

Dig! Dig you magnificent bastard!




This is hands-down the most boring dungeon in the entire triumvirate of Ages, Seasons, and Minish. Things get mildly interesting when I get ambushed by Wizzrobes, at least.

It has a Big Key just like a normal dungeon, which gets me to...

...This giant stone head boss. This room would be a lot cooler if it contained a hot girl in yoga pants instead.

Speaking of the Oracle games, didn't I fight this same boss in one of them? Pretty sure I did.

I wonder if this was originally going to be the fabled third game of the Oracle series. Seasons was the sorta-remake of the original NES game, Ages was the puzzle-heavy one... I always figured that whatever work they did on the third Oracle game ended up getting assimilated into those two. Here's the thing though: Seasons had a red theme, Ages had a blue theme, and the cancelled third game had a green theme. Minish Cap... has a very strong green theme.

This game also follows the same style as those. All of them have some gimmick that lets you influence your environment, whether it be changing the season, changing the time, or changing your size. In all of these games you interact with the gimmick via pedestals and tree stumps.

The lack of Ganon in this game always seemed odd to me, too. Maybe Vaati was intended to be a penultimate villain, like Veran or General Onyx. Once you defeated all three of them across the trilogy, Ganon would have appeared.

Back to this boss. You shoot the hands with arrows, which stops them and makes them vulnerable to sword attacks. If you take out both hands quick enough, he shuts down for a few seconds. During this time you jump on the conveniently-placed Minish platform, shrink down, and climb on into his body Innerspace style.

In the innards of the statue, you wail on these pillars until you get barfed out (with some sand). After a few rounds of that, he blows up. Another easy boss down on the first try. This is turning out to be one of the easiest Zelda games, but honestly, that's okay with me.

After that you ascend to the top of the ruins. Here you must battle JonTron's bird, who was removed from 2017 copies of The Minish Cap.

Here's the Ocarina. In this game it has the Link to the Past function of letting you warp around the world map to save time.

Here are the warp points unlocked so far. Well, the reward for that dungeon was worthwhile, given how unnecessary the dungeon itself felt.

Lake Hylia is home to the Temple of Droplets, where the next element is. I can't get there yet, though. It's frozen under that ice over there.

Why the hell is this teacher out here instead of inside teaching? Look lady, knowing teenagers these days, while you're out here they're probably all in there having the sex!

Moving on, I visit the library and shrink down to make the book fonts bigger. What we thought for years were dust mites were in fact these little gnomy things, as it turns out.

This is why young people should vote.

Unfortunately, these two are too wound-up in their relationship to care about voting. VOTE OR DIE

What follows is a somewhat irritating book hunt. In order to get to the Temple of Droplets, I need to find specific books while evading the librarian's cats.

It would be cool if this book were readable.

Here's the oddly-named Dr. Left. He wants to surrender to terror and take our guns, as well as instituting mandatory gay.

The book hunt continues, as I evade bloodthirsty kittens. In Minish form, they might as well be dragons.

Wait what? Didn't I already have this? Not exactly. This item lets me push bookshelves in either form. It only has a few applications.

Another book lurks in the rafters, since the gnomes made off with it. I have to weigh this one down so it falls (with Link taking a Shane McMahon like bump).

The book hunt continues, and the librarian is starting to get aroused.

Out in the middle of the lake is the inconveniently-placed Mayor's Cabin. He built this place before global warming, I guess.

The third and final book. I didn't even realize Hyrule had a mayor. Isn't that redundant when there's already a king? What power does the mayor have? How does he feel about the king's demonic possession?

With all three books found, the librarian now likes Link more than any other guy.

Moments later, the bookshelves are back in order. This means Link can reach the abode of...

...the Minish Elder, who wields a long, women-pleasuring feather.

.......and drops Link into a trapdoor! Damn him!

Wait, it was all so that our hero could get the Flippers. Now he can swim with the grace of famed merman Jacques Cousteau.

Now I can go almost anywhere in Hyrule. Time to go after the water element, but first, quick detour for a heart piece.

The Temple of Droplets may be the water temple of the game, but it'd be more accurate to call it the ice temple. Everything here is frozen. Next time on The Minish Cap, we see what wonders await in the final act of the game.

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