Hands-down one of the worst sequels of all time. And with such an incredible poster / cover art, too. This is going to be a large post, because I'm looking at both the theatrical version and the Renegade version that attempted to fix the movie. Did it succeed? Ehhhhh.
RIP Peanut and Fred 2017-2024
The year is 1999 and we're in the hellscape of New York City! The sun's radiation has become deadly due to the depleted ozone layer, and millions around the world are dying from heat-stroke on a daily basis. The news V.O. in the background explains how the dying is especially bad in places like Africa, where they don't have access to shade. Yes, it says this.
The sun's murder rays ran all day every day. We were this close to going out forever, but one man turned things around.
His name was....Connor.
....Connor Macleod, a few years after his defeat of Kurgan and his winning of The Prize (aka mortality). He is now the world's foremost scientist, and he develops a massive energy shield that blocks the sun's rays.
Finally! Someone standing up to the sun! That damn sun has had a free ride for too long!
A planet-wide energy shield is activated, and humanity is saved! Now the rest of human existence will be a weather-less, dark, colorless world dominated by anarcho-tyranny. But at least people will no longer die because they don't have access to shade.
Fast-forward to the year 2024. Today, the world is dark and depressing, and a whole generation of young people don't even know what it was like to see the sky firsthand, or what it was like to live in a world with rain, snow, Fall, Winter.
In 2024, Connor is now old and haggard, and laments his decisions and his work on the shield. As depressing as the world has become, at least he can take solace in the fact that what he did was necessary - and still is, as far as anyone knows.
Besides, none of this matters. Nothing matters anymore. Peanut's gone, man.
He goes and watches an opera about knights fighting on another planet (what is this, Final Fantasy IV?) and falls asleep in the middle of it like Joe Biden.
Then he snaps awake when he hears the voice of...Ramirez?? But, but he died in the previous movie?
"Rememba where you come from, Highlanda! Rememba 500 years ago! The Planet Zeist!"
"Yes! Yes I remember!" says Connor, who despite being elderly, still has more youthful vitality than Christopher Lambert did in Highlander Endgame.
We now get a flashback to Planet Zeist, home-world of the immortals. The idea of these guys originating on other worlds is actually kind of interesting. Problem is, it totally contradicts everything about the first movie.
Also, we can CLEARLY see a crashed flying ship here. Keep this in mind for later when Ramirez is in awe of the existence of airplanes.
Ramirez is the leader of the resistance, rebelling against the dastardly forces of General Katana. I'd like to know more about the Zeist-ian hierarchy. Katana isn't the president or anything, he's just a general. So who's in charge? How much power does Katana actually have? Are they rebelling against Katana, or the establishment that Katana serves?
Ramirez announces that the resistance now has a NEW leader: Connor Macleod!
....A Scottish name for a Zeistian? He has been many things.
They then have a mini-quickening between their hands and become "joined forever". I don't know what any of this means, but I think Ramirez and Connor just got Zeist-married. This is going to be really awkward when they meet for the first time in the Highlands of Scotland in the 1500s.
Connor then leads the resistance in a march on the forces of their enemy, General Katana. Why? Who? I don't know. Anyway, the march brutally fails, probably because Connor told everybody to peacefully and patriotically make their voices heard, so nobody brought a weapon.
General Katana captures Connor for interrogation and acts all menacing. When Michael Ironside shows up, you know it's either going to be a very good movie or a very bad movie.
Ramirez and Connor are hauled before the Zeist High Court on charges of treason and expelled from the planet.
The court is all "You will be sent to Earth, where you will be immortal and must fight until only one of you remain. Then the last one will receive a prize, which will be to either return to Zeist, or become mortal and grow old on Earth."
What a bizarre punishment. It's so specific, so random, so....weird.
Our heroes point out that this doesn't sound bad at all, exposing a glaring hole in the movie lol. So are all of Earth's immortals Zeist resistance members? And also, nice that Ramirez and Connor can ham it up about their humorous punishment when most of their resistance minions got blown up by mortar fire. (Yeah, they're all mortal here on Zeist, so mortar fire is death to them).
Back on Earth, in the neon-drenched future world of 2024...large Skynet-like pyramids loom over the landscape, projecting the shield over the planet.
Sassy Female Terrorist Virginia Madsen tries to break into one of the shield buildings with a bunch of other terrorists to presumably take down the shield. All of her minions get killed in the failed attempt, but she doesn't seem too bothered about it after escaping. Her and Ramirez should go bowling! They treat their troops like Dynasty Warriors fodder enemies.
Elsewhere, some crazy woman is screaming at Connor Macleod in a bar. "You're a FELON who led an INSURRECTION!" she screeches while twitching and shaking, before trying to bash him over the head with a bottle.
Sassy Female Terrorist Virginia Madsen escapes over the catwalks of the city. The only good thing about this movie is the impressive Midgar-like aesthetic of all the city areas that are shown.
The Sassy Female Terrorist meets Connor, and we find out her name is Louise. She immediately starts lecturing him about how he shouldn't have built the shield, and he's old and doesn't want to hear it.
...so with all these folks screeching at him about the shield with their 20/20 hindsight, should he have just NOT built it? If everyone burned up from the sun radiation would these people be happy?
Elsewhere, on Zeist! General Katana decides (...after 500 years?) that he can't leave well enough alone, and sends two goggle-wearing human porcupines to Earth to slay Connor. I mean, Connor won the prize like 35 years ago at this point, if he was actually going back to Zeist they'd probably know it by now?
One of the goggle-men actually points this out, noting that Connor is human now and thus can't return, and General Katana just backhands the guy. Another glaring hole in the movie, pointed out by one of the characters.
The wonder twins then start cackling insanely. Are these guys The Guardian's parents?
They warp over to Earth quickly and immediately find Connor (if they can warp right to Connor, why'd Katana wait 35 years to send someone over?) and start doing weird karate poses.
Connor and Louise don't know what to make of this display. Also, Connor looks like a Founding Father here. Put him on a coin!
"MACLOOOOOOOD" says one of the goons.
Yep, definitely The Guardian's parents. Yeah I know they're both dudes, I don't know how babies get made on Zeist. Probably via those hand-quickenings we saw earlier, or maybe they just get spored or something. I didn't see a single woman on Zeist.
Connor then battles the guy all over the place, using only a metal pipe (while these guys have swords). Combine that with Connor's advanced age and you'd think he'd be at a significant disadvantage against two immortals? (Assuming they became immortal when they landed here, as they're mortal on Zeist....ah whatever)
They also battle on the roof of a moving train as the Midgar-ism of the overall movie continues! I still think Final Fantasy VII got more from Total Recall, though.
The fight ends when the goon falls under the train and gets decapitated by a wheel. Congratulations goon, you just lost a fight with Weaponless Ancient Connor.
What follows is, no joke, one of the best Quickenings in the entire series, as Connor becomes immortal again.
Tons of stuff blows up, there's lightning everywhere...you'd think that goon was a Kalas-level threat or something. Unfortunately this is as good as the movie ever gets in this department.
Connor emerges from the fiery wreckage as Young Connor, now immortal again and back to his old self. Wait, shouldn't he still be his old man form, just an immortal version of it? Why does immortality include de-aging? It never does anywhere el..... oh whatever
Connor retrieves the goon's sword and uses it to battle the other goon.
What follows is an excessively long chase sequence where the other goon chases him around with glider-wings and hoverboards and Benny Hill music should have been playing.
Connor eventually takes the guy down by pulling on a cord that decapitates him as he flies by. ...wait a minute, is that his old katana? Did they switch his swords around for this one shot? The inconsistencies around the katana (and which sword Connor is carrying with him at any given time) are pretty big in this movie. More on that later.
We get a second, much weaker Quickening (the budget must have been used up) while Connor shouts "Ramirez" for some reason.
THISH!!
ISH!!
Actual Ramirez: "The Quickening! You are one with all things, Highlanda!"
Whoa, so like, Connor yelling his name caused Ramirez to come back to life on a stage in Scotland, in what's now an outdoor ampitheater. He proceeds to annoy the actors and get called a "shithead" before being applauded by the audience for no apparent reason.
"Shithead?" he says before wandering off.
He sees himself in a mirror and realizes he still has his head, unlike 500 years ago when Kurgan lopped it off. Once again the movie is pointing out the glaring holes in this story. How is he alive again? Is Kurgan killing him the last thing he remembers?
Back in the squirrel-murdering hellscape of New York City, Connor and Louise stare each other down.
Louise is turned-on by this young version of Connor, and Connor's all hormonal now due to being young, so this can only mean one thing: Next up is a sex scene that got 5th (last) place in my Ranking The Highlander Movie Sex Scenes post. I'll just copy what I said there:
First of all, I like this actress, Virginia Madsen. Fantastic actress. That said, this scene...huge yikes for this scene. She meets Connor in a restaurant, recognizing him from the news, then hides in a dumpster while he fights a couple of punks on hoverboards. After the fight, he transforms before her eyes from Old Connor into Young Connor (don't ask).
And then they just like instantly bang, right up against a wall! The fact that Connor doesn't even know her name yet, and the fact that she was just inside of a dumpster for the past 5-7 minutes of the movie, make this easily the worst Highlander sex scene.
The sex lasts for literally about 10 seconds (maybe it's longer in the Renegade Cut) before Connor finishes in this poor woman and then wanders off.
God help us.
Back at Connor's Residence, Louise is now clearly nude under some sort of bathrobe, and making herself at home. Well, that was quick. One unsatisfying alleyway-bang and she's moving in! Not a lot of romance in this movie.
Anyway, she then proceeds to completely obliterate the movie by trying to make sense out of it. What is WITH this movie constantly exposing its own flaws?
She says, verbatim: "So, you come from another planet, and you're mortal there, but you're immortal here, until you kill all the guys from there who come here, and then you're mortal here. Unless you go back there, or more guys from there come here, in which case, you become immortal again?"
Connor's all "heh heh, something like that" as if any of this makes any DAMN SENSE.
She then explains that something is amiss at Shield Corp and that they're hiding evidence that the sun is safe again, which is why she became a Sassy Female Terrorist. Connor is willing to entertain the ideas of her crazy little lady-brain, so he heads over to Shield Corp to see if there's anything to her conspiracy theories.
He meets up with his old friend he co-developed the shield with, who I'll just call Cid, and finds out that it's true, the ozone layer is safe and the company is covering it up so they can keep raking in profits. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!
Unfortunately the Villainous CEO (tm) of Shield Corp is in no hurry to stop supplying the world with a now-unnecessary shield while making trillions of dollars. What is this guy, Blackrock?
He and Connor have an Inappropriate Laughter-Off. That red and blue globe in the background reminds me that a few folks lately have wondered who I was supporting in the presidential election. The answer is....Harris:
You heard right, I'm writing in actor Ed Harris! He seems like a cool guy. Look at those dreamy eyes! Go Ed Harris!
Elsewhere, Katana decides that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, and shows off his giant death-sword. Is he surprised that his goons didn't get it done? He has an entire army at his beck and call and he sent a pair of cackling human porcupines.
He then instant-transmissions to Earth (again, why not do this way sooner? why not bring a bunch of minions? why not send the entire army?) and appears in a subway car.
He, of course, hijacks the train and cranks it up to MAX SPEED, which is like 500 MPH. These future trains of the year 2024 are insane!
This causes everyone on board to go flying and then splat while Katana cackles maniacally.
Elsewhere, Connor is visiting the grave of his wife Brenda from the first movie. It's a blink and you'll miss it moment, and the only time she ever gets mentioned in this one. Looks like she died a few years after Highlander 1 and a few years before he developed the shield.
Not that any of this is canon or anything. Far as I'm concerned, only HL1, HL3, Endgame, and the series are canon. Those at least all work within the same consistent world, provided you take Connor vs Kurgan as the Wrestlemania of immortal fights rather than the last of them. Which is how the upcoming reboot is most likely going to handle it since they're planning further movies after the first one (which is Kurgan).
Katana shows up at the church(?) and proceeds to be all menacing as he taunts Connor. Time for the movie to again obliterate its own story as Connor points out the flaw with Katana's plan to send goons after him.
Katana: "You're never getting back to the White House, Connor."
Connor: "I never planned to."
"What do you mean?"
"I was content to retire and play golf. Then you sent the DOJ after me! Now here we are, back to square one."
Connor: "You changed everything."
Katana realizes his mistake. Way to just point out how dumb the movie is, movie.
There are some quick shining moments to be found here. Pretty much anything with Ramirez in the present-day is great, considering how we really didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with him in this series. He's very entertained by all the modern technology that exists in 2024, and it's just fun to see. Ramirez alone guarantees that this movie will never be at the bottom rung of the series with The Source.
After some guy disses his outfit, Ramirez goes to a tailor to get some modern clothes. "AND WHY NOT INDEED" says the tailor. "FOR WE ARE THE OLDEST GENTLEMAN'S TAILOR IN SCOTLAND!"
Ramirez responds to this hammy acting by pointing out that he may well be the oldest man in Scotland.
Ramirez does what immortals generally do for money and pawns off one of his old artifacts. Apparently this pearl earring is enough to cover a full suit. Really? Pearl is that valuable? I know Pokemon Diamond/Pearl gave us all that impression but I'm skeptical.
Now equipped with his new suit, Ramirez looks in a mirror and goes "nothing like a challenge to bring out the best in someone!"
That's very true. Unless you're a game journalist in 2024, then challenges are ableist.
We get a SaGa Frontier tier travel FMV as Ramirez takes a plane to the 'States to find Connor.
Ramirez is very unnerved by this flying technology. Which, taken in a vacuum, is another funny and endearing scene. However, looked at in full context:
-How is he so in awe of airplanes when he's from The Planet Zeist where we clearly see crashed flying ships in the background during the war scenes?
-How is there rain beating against the side of the plane when they're flying under the shield and the movie has made a point of letting us know that there's no weather anymore due to the shield?
Back to the zany Ramirez festivities: He chats up a pretty lady (named Virginia, which is probably a humorous nod to Virginia Madsen) sitting next to him, regaling her by talking about how most of the prettiest women in history had black hair like her. Helen of Troy, Cleopatra, Joan of Arc.
Safe to say these two joined the Mile-High Club shortly afterwards. That'd be really on-brand for this movie. We had a bone sesh in a decrepit alleyway, why not a bone sesh in a cramped airplane bathroom?
Back at Connor's place, we see some of his old memorabilia, like photos of him fighting in WW2.
Louise is intrigued by all of this. I like how her accepting his immortality is just whatever after already seeing him de-age 35 years.
Also, you can really see the genesis of Highlander: The Series here. Connor's apartment is very similar to the place Duncan lives in at the beginning of the show, full of statues and artifacts (even has the same cubed glass walls). Louise here kinda looks like Tessa. Good thing the show goes off in its own direction pretty quick, though.
Following a different immortal (instead of re-casting Connor) was also a good idea. Originally they were re-casting Connor, but Adrian Paul thought the fans would dump on it if anyone besides Christopher Lambert played the character, and he was right. Better to create new things, I say.
Elsewhere, the evil shield CEO is meeting with his board of directors while he acts all over-the-top evil. I half expect him to be like "This quarter, we shut down 12 more orphanages to turn their land into pollution-generators! Uwee hee hee!"
General Katana shows up, gets shot by the CEO's bodyguard, gets back up and shrugs it off before chucking the bodyguard out a window, then proposes a business arrangement. They team up to lure Connor here so he can slay Connor once and for all, also getting him out of the CEO's hair.
Louise asks Connor about his past loves and he gets all somber. Probably because they're all dead. Can you leave that subject alone, lady?
Ramirez shows up and ambushes Connor! This is just what immortals do, show up and ambush each other. Connor doesn't even ask how Ramirez is like, not dead.
Here he is, 500 years later, without a scratch on him! How? Who knows, Highlanda! Who knows!
Anyway they fight with swords for a minute and Connor subdues Ramirez, just to make sure we know whose movie this is. TBH I think this series kinda did Ramirez dirty. Guy is clearly one of the strongest and most shrewd of all immortals, but he loses every fight he gets into.
Ramirez is happy to meet Louise. Be careful Connor, don't leave your girlfriend alone with this guy! He's too damn charming!
Ramirez: "You built this monstrosity?"
Connor: "It was necessary at the time."
Ramirez: "Well, so was Noah's Flood, for cleansing the world of evil."
Look at the Richat Structure all lit-up there. So long story short, they find out that Cid has been put into solitary confinement by the evil CEO, which lures Connor to want to rescue him. This leads to one of the dumbest scenes in the movie, which is saying a lot:
Our heroes load Louise into the trunk of a car and proceed to plow through the Shield Corp's security checkpoints, getting totally shot up in the process because lol they're immortal. But what about Louise in the trunk??
And they don't just get a little bit shot-up, the car gets absolutely RIPPED TO SHREDS with a hail of gunfire to the point that it's amazing there's anything left of Connor and Ramirez.
Louise pops out of the trunk totally unharmed and unbothered. Is nobody in the movie going to point out how she should be dead about ten times over and those guys are total morons for having her in the trunk during their stunt?
After breaking out of the morgue and retrieving Louise, our heroes find Cid down in the garbage rooms. He just got thrown down here like Ifrit and Shiva in FFVI. Guy tells them that they have to stop the evil CEO and shut down the shield.
While looking for the evil CEO, they get caught in a trap where a giant fan blade descends to chop them to bits. This is actually logical, because Katana must have told the CEO about their decapitation weakness.
NOTE: Ramirez has his old katana in this scene (aka the one Connor uses in the first movie). How'd he get it back? Did he get it from Connor? Who knows, 'cause they didn't actually tell us anything.
Ramirez says that it's possible for someone to summon up their full measure of life for one brief shining moment before they perish, and uses this magic to stop the ceiling fan while "Amazing Grace" plays. I don't know, that song got ruined for me by Invasion of the Body Snatchers '77 (aka the 2nd-best scary movie of all time, behind The Thing). In any case, that's it for Ramirez, as he fades back into oblivion after using his magic spell.
Connor: "Will I ever see you again?"
Ramirez: "Who knows, Highlanda? Who knows!"
I take this to mean he might have shown up in The Series somehow, maybe as the guest star in the first episode to see the new Connor off (the role Connor eventually took to see Duncan off). No clue though. I don't know what the creators were thinking or planning at this point in time, as The Series was still in the drawing board stages and wouldn't start filming until a few months after this.
Find yourself someone who looks at you the way Connor looks at Ramirez here. Quite frankly though, it's an earned look. This is his bro, it's been a long time, and he was lucky to get to see him one last time in this Gokou-esque visit from the afterlife. With that, Ramirez fades away.
Elsewhere, General Katana kills the CEO by crushing his balls. Cool. Now that Ramirez is out of the picture, the movie kinda sucks, and I'm checking my watch like a politician at a military funeral.
Louise's skill as a trained Sassy Female Terrorist comes in handy now as she fends off Shield Corp troopers while Connor faces General Katana.
Connor is still using the Zeist sword he got from Katana's Goon earlier. Surprised he didn't pick up Ramirez's katana after Ramirez poofed. It's so weird seeing Connor fighting with a big clumsy broadsword like this.
The battle is joined! General Katana's greatsword is actually pretty awesome, and falls into that Kurgan category of oversized death swords.
After the first phase of the fight, it goes to the second phase like a videogame boss. Katana knocks Connor down into a pit, and once Connor manages to get back up to where Katana is, he suddenly has Ramirez's katana. ...where did he get it? Was it down in the pit? They never showed it.
The second phase has them fighting again right at the shield generator, which is a giant laser.
Now armed with the katana, Connor easily overpowers...uh, Katana. The sword looks a slight bit different from the first movie (not as robust on the dragon head hilt) but it's unmistakably Ramirez's katana. Why was this movie so weird about that sword? It appears out of nowhere, disappears out of nowhere, then reappears out of nowhere again and there's never any fanfare or mention of it.
Can we mention how ridiculous it is that the bad guy's name is Katana? Every time I mention Connor's katana it's like I'm talking about the bad guy. Well, whatever. After a fairly easy fight, Connor goes for the SHIIIIIING.
THISH! ISH!
The Quickening from General Katana is pretty weak, especially compared to the one at the beginning of the movie. Turns out Katana's Aides had bigger quickenings than the actual Big Bad. Also, there's this weird delay that happens between the beginning of the quickening and the end, like it's actually two separate quickenings. The quickening seems to conclude, then he walks over to the beam and starts having another one. What is he, a girl?
Connor uses the quickening to destroy the shield generator, saving the planet from the era of darkness that he started. Boy, the people are gonna be freaked out for a few minutes when they see the sun again. They'll be shrieking and falling to the ground like the people in the nuclear explosion scenes from Terminator 2 until they realize the sun won't actually hurt them.
Ramirez V.O. tells our heroes to use their measure of life to its fullest, and we get both of them looking super-happy as the movie fades to black.
It's a super late-80's / early 90's movie ending, right down to the scene freezing for a couple seconds before it fades.
And...that's it for Highlander 2. Whew. Glad this one's over. Yeah, it's real bad and makes zero sense and was the worst possible launching point for The Series, but at least it has Ramirez being Ramirez.
It's a lot more watchable than The Source. Mainly due to Ramirez. There's no equivalent "carries the movie when he's around" character in The Source, since they changed Methos into a semi-villainous biker instead of his usual thoughtful calm self.
Anyway, that's it for this one.
How one feels when Highlander 2 is over
Wait a minute
I still have to take a look at the Renegade Version. God help me. Alright, the good news is that supposedly there isn't a huge amount that's different from the Theatrical Version, so I can probably go over it pretty quick.
Somewhere, the creators of this movie were probably thinking about doing a Highlander Opera.
"We can make it a post-apocalyptic opera!" said one of them, before being shown out applauded by the rest of the writer's room.
So first of all, the Renegade Version is significantly longer than the Theatrical Version, adding about 25 minutes. However right away I can see why it's so much longer. Every scene is drawn-out, including lots of b-roll and shots that clearly should have been left on the cutting room floor. It basically looks the way a movie would look pre-editing. Which isn't all bad, it's got a slower pace and gives you more time to think about what you're seeing.
Most importantly, it omits all mentions of Zeist, and just has the Zeist scenes be flashbacks on Earth.
Flashback to the past, on Earth this time... things looked more like another planet than the Zeist scenes in the Theatrical Version. I mean, seriously... they changed the movie entirely to get rid of Zeist, then made the flashback scenes look even MORE like another planet? Hell, the Zeist scenes in the Theatrical Version didn't even really look like another planet.
That said, this is probably the best shot in the movie. It's compelling and raises all kinds of questions. Where is this? WHEN is this? Looks more like the distant, distant past than the fairly-recent last few hundred years.
Suffice to say, it's an unknown amount of years ago in an unknown part of the world, when Connor was working with Ramirez to defeat an evil warlord somewhere. They change the dialogue quite a bit here. Instead of saying "Free men of the planet Zeist", Ramirez says "Free men of the planet", and so forth. Looks like the two of them are the only immortals present, the rest are just humans they're leading.
This still raises some questions. When did these two find the time to go off to the Indus Valley (or wherever this is)? In the first movie they're basically hanging out in Scotland right up until the Kurgan arrives to slay Ramirez. I don't think it's like they got to travel the world together or anything. Well, maybe they did. The movie is trying, dammit!
Wait a minute, this can't be 500 years ago, General Katana's troops are wielding automatic weapons!
So basically this is impossible to place in time and one is better off not trying.
Our heroes are captured and punished by banishment to The Future, where they'll be reincarnated. General Katana is incensed by this and wants them killed, to no avail, as he's not in charge here, some council of bald men is.
So basically this is supposed to be an Antedeluvian-period pre-flood "advanced old civilization" situation, hence why everything's so otherworldly. It's probably intended to be 20,000 years ago or something. Now our heroes get beamed into the future and reincarnated. Ramirez says he'll find Connor eventually since they're bonded, then warps off to 700 B.C. Egypt while Connor gets reborn in 1500 A.D. Scotland.
Yanno, this is actually kind of an interesting concept, if any of it could actually be taken as canon: The immortals are actually beings reincarnated from a lost civilization that understood things like the processing of souls. Makes a lot more sense than these guys being from Zeist.
In one of the movie's many deleted scenes, a bunch of street punks harass Connor for change. "Hey old man, got any change for the OXYGEN MACHINE?" they say.
With all the old-shaming in this movie so far, it really IS 2024!
The Skynet Pyramid looks way more futuristic and sci-fi in this version of the movie. Actually, everything looks more fantastical, considering they were trying to downplay the fantastical elements and make it more realistic. They wanted to make a combination of Blade Runner and Dune but made the mistake of using an existing franchise to do it.
Back in -The Past-, General Katana is watching a viewscreen of the distant future, and sees that in the future Connor is the last immortal. According to immortal law, he can either stay there and get old, or return to the distant past to rejoin the origin-pool (I just made that up) of immortal souls or whatever.
Katana is afraid Connor will return and go after him, and decides to pre-empt this. I guess up until now he was hoping that Connor would get offed by another immortal banished to the future.
You know what, none of this makes any sense either! BRING BACK ZEIST!
"Why don't we just leave him alone? He's an old man now! He'll be dead in a couple of weeks!"
The human porcupine guys, once again, make more sense than the movie does, and we're supposed to be laughing at them. No, I don't think I will. They're the sanest people in insanityville!
The beginning of this movie is actually kinda sad. The Elderly Connor scenes go on for much longer now due to the lack of edits, so you get a lot of him just kinda meandering around. He puts some coins in a machine to play "A Kind of Magic". The whole thing feels like he's pretty much just given up on life and is wiling away the hours until it's time to go. Which I guess is what happens to us eventually.
This version doesn't explain how Ramirez just sorta came back to life any better than the original version. Here's an idea: Maybe when immortals die they go back to the ancient land to have their soul-recycled, but because of Ramirez's bond with Connor and his strong soul-energy he was able to come back one more time on a temporary basis or something.
They left in the scene where Louise talks about "you're mortal unless more guys from there show up" which is kind of shocking considering how ridiculous it makes the movie sound. Did they have to pad the runtime THAT bad?
The rest of the movie is mostly the same, just with a few things re-arranged. For example, the two-phase fight with General Katana now happens at two completely different points in the movie, so it makes a lot more sense when Connor has his regular sword for phase 2 (though they still don't show how he got it to begin with, as it was in the Fan Room with Ramirez when he blew up).
Things actually get quite a bit different in the last few minutes of the movie. Instead of going into Shield Corp to shut it down, Connor and Louise have to go to a place out in the desert where there's a hole in the shield. General Katana follows them and has a fistfight with Connor on the roof of a truck. That was actually pretty cool, surprised they didn't find a way to get it into the Theatrical Version. Come to think of it, why was all of this filmed to begin with if it all got cut? Reminds me of Terminator Salvation supposedly having like 25 minutes cut, most of which was in the Skynet base at the end. I guess they figured we just didn't need to see the nuances of getting into these enemy facilities.
Apparently there are some really tall mountains that actually go through the shield, and one can travel above it via an access tunnel. Our heroes need to do this because...why exactly? Just to make sure it's safe to take the thing down? Makes sense, actually.
This involves climbing a REALLY LONG LADDER inside of a mountain.
They emerge on Rhone Plateau. Time to find the heal shrine and start level-grinding.
Up here (I think these are the South American Andes) our heroes find a pristine environment and the sun doesn't seem to be harmful at all anymore (meaning the ozone repaired itself since 1999).
This part's actually really good/poignant and they should have left it in the original movie. Earlier they establish that Louise is too young to have ever seen a blue sky firsthand, so Connor has to tell her what it was like. Now, she gets to see the planet as it was.
They head back to Shield Corp HQ, now with the goal of shutting it down, and the Theatrical Cut is rejoined right after it left off with the first Katana fight. Connor's got his old sword, they fight by the shield beam, etc.
THISH! ISH!
...side note, I had a replica of Connor's sword for a bit, and it's unfortunately pretty unwieldy. You can see the snake coiling around the handle here. Well, that texture makes the handle bumpy rather than smooth, and uncomfortable to wield. It sure LOOKS cool but it isn't really practical. Duncan's similar sword has a flatter texture that's made for actual wielding/fighting, while not looking quite as cool. They're actually very different swords under close inspection.
Our heroes leave Shield Corp under a new night sky. And somehow there aren't swarms of authorities on the way to arrest them after this entire debacle.
They have a moment, and that's it for the Renegade Version. Much better than the original cut of the movie, but also more drawn-out. Worth seeing just for the inclusion of the parts towards the end with them going above the shield. I'm glad I watched it, even though it's still a pretty bad movie. The landscapes and cinematography are excellent in both versions of this movie and it looks quite good / high-budget. So there's some stuff to like here.
At the end of the day, I don't consider any version of this movie to be canon to anything else in the series, and it's better off treated like a fever dream Connor had between when he slew the Kurgan and when he met up with Duncan in 1992. Every other Highlander property pretends this one didn't exist.
It's worth noting that the Theatrical Version is difficult to find nowadays, as every version for sale that I could find was the Renegade Version. So in time, the Zeist version might actually become a bit of a historical relic.
So that's it for Highlander 2. I could have used all this time to do two, maybe three episodes of The Series instead and had a much better time.
The good news is that Season 5 is, IMO, the height of The Series. Highlander III is pretty good and kind of underrated. And Highlander Endgame functions pretty well as a finale to the show, which is needed after the mercifully-short Season 6 kinda sputters to a conclusion. I'll look at all of 'em. Probably not Highlander: The Raven, though. Sorry Amanda. Much like Connor, I'm a little too old now to spend time on that one. Heard it gets decent towards the end. Maybe a few quick looks at it if there's any demand whatsoever, which I doubt. Might be interesting to examine what a debacle it was, considering the star cut and dyed her hair before filming began and rendered the very title of the show moot...
One more thing, apparently a fighting game was planned based on this franchise and slated for release in the mid-90's. The only thing preventing it was that the producers didn't think The Series (which was early in Season 2) would be around long enough for a game to make sense a year or two later. Joke was on them as The Series boomed in popularity after that and the game would have actually coincided with the peak of its ratings. Here are some article scans that get into it more.
Don't know about you but I'd love to play a fighting game with Duncan, Connor, Methos, Richie, some of the bigger series guys like Xavier and Kalas, and of course movie guys like Ramirez and Kurgan. Really a shame that we didn't get this. Probably would have been something similar to Weapon Lord for the SNES, or at the high end, Bushido Blade on the PS1.
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