Saturday, July 5, 2014

Highlander: The Series 2x13 - Bless the Child

What's got Charlie so spooked? This episode, that's what.

This is more or less the last episode of the series that I consider a true "filler" episode, and it's mostly great from here on out. This episode in and of itself is kinda goofy and unneeded, with a plot that (again) doesn't even involve immortals.

I wish this episode were called "Bless the Chyld" and had Duncan locking horns with the dark one himself, Toad.

In this episode, some dudes in cowboy hats are after some woman. Didn't we just see this in the previous episode?

Meanwhile, nearby, our heroes are on a camping trip. No sign of Richie, continuing the trend of this season. He turns immortal and all of a sudden he's never around. Whenever Charlie is around, Richie isn't, and vice-versa. At least now we have an explanation for Richie's absence, as the Mako mess left him out of Duncan's good graces.

Also, a fire in the woods? You better be glad Smokey Bear isn't around to see this shit!

A loud noise echoes through the forest, so our heroes take a gander.

It's the young hooligans in cowboy hats, roaring around in a pickup truck and listening to "Rap is Crap" by the West Texas Rednecks.

No, it's actually a woman, and she promptly crashes into a ditch. Duncan and Charlie swing into action, saving the woman and her wee baby from the burning wreckage.

Here's the twist: The wee baby... is a WEE IMMORTAL!

....just kidding.

The rednecks show up. "I need me a woman for the summer" says the leader. Duncan tries to stall them while Charlie gets the lady to safety.

It's a REDNECK RAMPAGE as our heroes run for their lives. Yee haw!

Uh oh... One of the goon squad got capped! another one, but the others don't know it and they all blame Macleod. I knew this guy was no good; he's the only one not wearing a cowboy hat.

Charlie has some alone time with the woman (who I will now call Mamacita in honor of the late, great Eddie Guerrero). It seems the guys are indeed hunting for her. But why? What did she do? She says nothing. WE JUST SAW THIS STORYLINE ONE EPISODE AGO. If this ends with Charlie following his penis and killing those guys to protect this woman after it turns out she murdered all of their wives or something, then... then Duncan won't have any friends left.


What the hell? Randy Savage?

Flashback to 1924. Everyone's working it in The Club. That's right kids, your great grandparents had clubs too. You're not cutting edge and edgy for going out on Saturday night!

This woman in a sexy flapper outfit asks Duncan how he feels about kids. You just met him a minute ago! Those 20's gals were LIBERATED!

Our heroes find a cabin in the woods and hide out there. Hopefully it isn't the same cabin in the woods as Joss Whedon's The Cabin in the Woods.

Duncan and Charlie can handle bands of thugs with no problem. But now... they're gonna meet their match! It's the zaniest summer comedy of the year... Baby-Sitting! Starring Dwayne Johnson.

Unfortunately, things take a turn for the worse when they're cornered by a new nightmare.

...the war against the machines. ::laser fire is heard::

No, I kid, it's actually...

...A BEAR. Is it Smokey? They shouldn't have set that fire earlier! THEIR CHICKENS HAVE COME HOME TO ROOST!

Smokey: "You must be the assholes who started that campfire!"



Duncan opens a jar of strawberry jam and rolls it over to distract the mighty beast while they make their escape. And now I'm going to miss the opportunity to make a Spaceballs joke.


Mamacita: "Were you looking at my ass?"

Charlie: "Sorry"

Macleod: "Charlie, this is no time to be looking at her ass!"

Wait, where's the baby? He must be running point and holding the rappel cord for everyone.

I kinda regret giving this episode such a bad rap at the beginning. Yeah, it isn't good or anything, and it's complete filler. That said, it's fun and outdoorsy. Like the Mountain Men episode.

Duncan manages to take out the goon squad, forcing a meeting with JBL here. "Vote Reagan!" he says over a campfire.

I wonder, does Smokey lose his temper every time someone plays "Firestarter" by Prodigy?

In any case, it turns out that the baby is HIS, and Mamacita stole it from him. The real mom died in childbirth, and Mamacita blamed it on JBL (I think they were sisters). So it turns out that our heroes have been helping a woman who is technically in the wrong this whole time. We just saw this plot one episode ago!

Stuff happens with this one guy continuing to be bad, so JBL snipes him. Always good when the leader of a group realizes there's a bad guy in his midst and deals with it. Just saw a Walking Dead episode like that.

Duncan talks Mamacita into doing the right thing and giving up the baby. Then Frou Frou appears for a live performance of "Let Go". Who knew she was out in the woods too? HEY...YA HEY...YA HEY...YA indeed.

They say Summer Glau can pull off just about any role, but I didn't believe it until now. Wow, well done.

With everything solved, Duncan leaves on good terms. But what of Smokey Bear? Where's his handshake? These emotional scars won't just heal!

With their camping trip successfully ruined, our heroes try to leave...and the car won't start. Next time, bring horses.

1 comment:

  1. "Wait, where's the baby? He must be running point and holding the rappel cord for everyone." - Maybe he was off ZIPLINING! WOOO!

    These are the kind of episodes you miss later on when everything is high drama. Sometimes.