Dai Makaimura (Arcade/Supergrafx, 1988/1990)

 

Who is the most powerful character in this picture? Arthur, hero of the realm? The building-sized demon in the background? Nope, neither. Princess Prin-Prin is the most powerful character in this picture. Literally everything happening in the world of Ghosts n' Goblins / Ghouls n' Ghosts is happening around and because of her. She is the most hotly-demanded, intensely-desired character in this realm. It's easy to see why, just look at her. Wars are fought over her sick 'bod, while men and demons of all kinds line up to try and be the one who gets to try to please her.

As for the game, I heard there was a Supergrafx (Turbografx upgrade) version that was basically arcade perfect, and wanted to give it a whirl. Unfortunately, couldn't really get that going, so I ended up just going with the arcade version. It's readily available on Capcom Arcade Stadium for PS4/5. I've already played the Sega Genesis version of this game, and it was pretty good, but now I'm going straight to the source with the best version.

While the previous game starts with these two having sex in a graveyard, this one has them actually in an interior location like civilized adults! I think they're going to get married.

Moments later, Arthur speeds off on his horse. He isn't even gonna stay the night? What an asshole!

Alright, I'm looking forward to this one. It's definitely the one I've played the least of the trilogy, since it never made it to any Nintendo system, and it's probably the one I hear talked about the least as well. Probably because of how ridiculously difficult it is, to the point of not being as fun as the other two. Those were well-balanced challenges, while this one is just...vindictive.

The castle falls under attack, with arrows raining down on everyone. With corpses everywhere, it's no wonder Nintendo said no to this one!

Arthur and Princess Prin-Prin get zapped as well, with the Princess doing a back-arch as she flops to the ground. She's even sexy when she gets shot by an arrow. Truly, she makes Helen of Troy look like a hag.

So this one's a little different. Rather than rescuing the Princess, you're literally recovering her soul so it can go back into her body and return her to life. That's right...she's dead, Jim.

The overworld map screen from the other games is back. It's mostly just to taunt you every time you die, and/or give you hope by showing you how far along you are. This is like a 25 minute game if you book it through without dying, but...yeah, that's unlikely. Get ready to die over and over for hours and hours.

The first stage is very similar to the first stage in the other two games...which is where the similarities mostly end, as the rest of the game is different. Main thing that jumps out at me right off the bat is how relentless and swarm-y the enemies are, ganging up on Arthur before I can even get my bearings.

The Lance - Weapon you start with, fires two projectiles at a time in a beam-like motion. Still a solid AF weapon, but it's also really boring.

But wait! In this game, unlike the rest of the trilogy, you can fire upwards and downwards with any weapon. This is HUGELY useful.

There's no double jump, though. And you have to fully-commit to every jump. Oof.

I find the Gold Armor, which lets you charge up your weapons. This is HUGE. Unfortunately it doesn't give you an extra hit like it probably should. They skipped right over the intermediary Green Armor that Super Ghouls n' Ghosts would add.

Charging up the Lance results in a three-way lightning bolt that rips through foes. Didn't get a shot of it from the gameplay, so here's a shot from the attract screen.

The Sword - A neat weapon that is unique to this game and not found in either other game in the trilogy. There's probably a reason for that; it's really only for pro players, and there are some parts of the game where you can get basically soft-locked if you get there with the Sword and can't progress. It does a huge amount of damage and can chew up even bosses in no time flat. However, it's got almost no range to it, which is definitely a problem in this game, and some foes are nearly impossible to beat with it. Surprisingly...Red Arremer isn't one of them. He can be obliterated in two quick slashes.

The Knife - I think I'll stick to the Knife, which is as good as it always is. Can fire a bunch of them at a time, and they move faster than the Lance. They also have a little bit of a "wavy" motion to them, covering more space. Charging up creates a temporary Mimic Tear that follows you around and emulates your attacks, doubling up on your damage output.

The Axe - This isn't the horrendous weapon it was in the first game, but it still isn't that good. It flies in a slightly-upward diagonal-forward path (that's difficult to aim, but good against airborne foes) and moves kind of slowly. Not something you particularly want to be stuck with.

I pass by the moaning trees from Mortal Kombat II as Level 1 just goes on and ON. It never ceases to be brutal at all times. Recommend playing this in a version that lets you save whenever. Capcom Arcade Stadium has this.

The boss of Level 1 is much more imposing than the first game...but also easier. His giant head makes for an easy target to pummel with attacks up-close.

Level 2 contains decrepit windmills straight out of a Souls game.

Also, these incredibly un-fun collapsing bridges that have no tells and no warning, causing you to slide towards antlion pits.

Given how hard this game is, I assume all those skulls are other players who gave up.

Being able to fire upwards now is huge against Red Arremers. While everything else in this game has been significantly beefed up in difficulty to a ridiculous degree, Red Arremers have actually gotten nerfed pretty hard.

The end of the level turns into an inferno, with fire columns and FIRE BATS.

The first truly bullshit thing in the game has to be the Level 2 boss. This fire beast flies around with no rhyme or reason. Even though you visibly have plenty of room to duck under him, you'll ALWAYS GET HIT if you try. Which begs the question of how the hell you avoid his attacks, aside from having the clairvoyance to stay way out of their space.

Level 3 brings even more pain, with a vertical elevator lined with OP enemies that drop all kinds of things on you. This game is way, WAY harder than Ghosts n' Goblins.

The Chakram - Powerful, doesn't go very far or move fast though. Probably most comparable to the Shield/Cross in the previous game.

The Torch - The infamous worst weapon (usually), it has a nice big fire wall in this game. Really not bad, outside of being useless against airborne foes. ...so yeah it's pretty bad.

Also pretty bad: This vertical autoscrolling section starts expanding out horizontally without warning, so you can easily get trapped by these unnecessary ceiling spikes. I mean, this just seems like a troll right here.

Continuing on is a brutal platforming section where you must climb various statue-tongues.

Super Ghouls n' Ghosts was a MASSIVE improvement on this game's level design. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say this is the worst of the three, which might be why Nintendo ignored it.

Level 3 boss is the big brother of Kracko from the Kirby series. It flies around, you blast the eye. If you have the Torch or the Sword, then lolol.

This game does have some interesting music. Here's the Level 4 theme. Not even sure what to make of it, but it's unique.

Level 4 is super creepy, and seems to take place inside of some large creature.

The worst thing about this level is the ceiling, which entirely counts as spikes. That's right, the crystal ceiling = death. So you can't jump, like, at all if you're on a high-up platform.

We got enough spikes yet? This is especially bad when you can't control your jumping trajectory at all.

Level 4 boss is weird as hell. You have to jump up and fire downward at these heart things, but only when they're lit-up. Meanwhile, flying serpents come out and zip at you. The fight is a PITA and it's kinda gross too.

Usually this trilogy will have two separate tower levels at the end. Not this game. It basically combines the usual tower levels into Level 5, turning it into essentially a boss gauntlet. Good luck, players. If you made it this far despite all the game's trolling, you can probably get through the rest.

The climb up the tower consists of lots of these vomiting pig-men. Being able to fire upwards makes the tower levels MUCH easier than in the rest of the trilogy.

At the end of the level is the Red Emperor. He spits fire from his belly-mouth, and you retaliate by pummeling his head. In the previous game his weak point was the belly mouth, so this is much easier.

Nevermind, this isn't the end of the level...it's just the beginning. ::Scream painting.jpg::

We get two disembodied heads of the first boss! All things considered, it isn't bad, since you can get under them and fire upwards as fast as possible.

Next up... TWO Red Emperors! Like the previous fight, there's no way to gimp this by creeping forward and only aggroing one of them at a time. You gotta do it the hard way.

Our hero ducks under the stomach-flamethrowers of these guys en route to a win.

That REALLY should have been the final boss of the level, but instead we have:

This flying Beelzebub guy, who is literally impossible if you're stuck with the Sword or Torch (and the checkpoint is right before him, so lololol).

Worst fight in the game regardless, and nearly impossible to avoid him once he breaks apart into swarms of flies that zip toward you (you can divert their path by attacking, at least...if you have room).

It's a shame because this is pretty much it, and I imagine more than a few players got stuck at this point putting quarters in ad nauseum until they had to give up and go home with the game unfinished. I like a challenge as much as anybody, but this fight was just a bridge too far and a bit too cheap.

Finish the game, and as is tradition, you gotta do it all again! I think the first time you recover the Princess' spirit, and the second time you recover her corpse for it to fly back into.

In New Game Plus, these angels can appear from chests and give you the Fireball weapon, aka the Cross-like final weapon needed to finish the game for real. It seems common enough, more common than any other weapon, so I'm going to skip it for a while. This second quest gives me an opportunity to try using the Sword, which I wanted to get more use out of in the first go.

And...it's AWESOME! WHAM WHAM WHAM!

Red Arremers? No problem, I can smack them down in two fast slashes. Boom.

Unfortunately, the Sword parade doesn't last forever. The fire boss at the end of Level 2 is like a brick wall if you've got the Sword, so I had to swap it out. Oh well.

The Fireball - Powerful, but not a terribly long range. Works well enough to not feel like any kind of nerf, which is all I can ask for. Blocks projectiles, like the Cross/Shield did.

Does that gorgon statue have breasts? With nipples?

Oh, so THAT'S why Nintendo didn't port this one over. Forget all the bad design choices and ridiculous un-fun trolling, a couple of lady-nipples are what got a rejection letter from Nintendo.

I plow through the Red Emperors and Beelzebub again en route to...

...whoever this guy is. Could it be...Satan?

Not sure if you have to have the fireball for this fight to unlock, or if just clearing NG+ is enough and you need the fireball to actually win the fight, or what. Either way, the fireball is fine on this fight, just aim upwards and pummel away. Can't imagine how much easier Sardius would have been in Super Ghouls n' Ghosts if you could fire upwards in that game.

There we go, pretty underwhelming final boss compared to the ordeal of getting here. As usual in this series, the boss is his own checkpoint, so you never have to go backward once you get to this fight.

Here's my fight with the final boss. Whooo!

After that, Princess Prin-Prin is revived, as her soul meets body again.

She sprints over to Arthur, who sweeps her off her feet in a tight embrace.

Congraturation, indeed.

What's with the question mark? It's the end of the game. I won. Now all that's left is for Arthur to put a baby in Princess Prin-Prin before she meets a taller guy. Hurry!

...alright, I admit it, I only played these because of how much I liked the box art for this one.