Pokemon Legends: Z-A, Part 5 - Grand Est Strasbourg

 

Cataluna gets PEARL HARBORED by a vicious Beedrill. At least one of these Rogue Mega boss fights is finally using an actual appealing Pokémon.

I'll say it again, the main character's outfit is completely carrying the game. This game is...not great. And it's a shame because they could have really done so much with the France setting and re-creating some of the rain-drenched, mossy locales therein. Instead we got this one town where basically everything looks the same, everywhere you go.

The second of the current set of three mega bosses is Banette. Does nothing for me. At least Beedrill is pretty bad-ass.

And finally, Hawlucha, the luchadore hawk. ...no seriously. The boss fights are getting a little more complex in their mechanics, which mainly means big AOEs that make smart positioning more important. And if anyone knows all about positioning, it's Cataluna. ...Sorry.

Get OUT of here, Urbain. What are you even doing in this game?

Is he supposed to be the love interest? Gross. If I picked a male lead, would Urbain be a female that incessantly fawns over him?

Speaking of love interests, here's the one who SHOULD be the love interest:

"I wish you'd lift me" says Lida.

At this point, her hormones are going BONKERS. What has Cataluna and her pheromones done to this city?

An NPC says what every player of this game was probably thinking at this point. This game being entirely boxed into this one city...was a choice, and Wild Areas just don't make up for actual wilderness environments out in the world.

...that said, I now arrive at Wild Zone 12, the nicest one in the game. It's all snowy here (somehow) and it's great to just have an environment be different for once in the game.

All the 'mons here are ice-element, so Delphox here can pretty much steamroll anything in the zone regardless of their levels. Combine that with the scenery and this is a damn good place to stop and grind some levels out.

The TMs in this game tend to be much more important than usual (or maybe they were always important and I didn't realize it), mainly because they're all reusable. Psychic here is one of the game's best attacks, and after finding the TM I was able to drop it on 3 different party members.

Oh yeah, not sure if I ever mentioned this before now, but there's a guy who gives you back Poke Balls that you've wasted (aka thrown and missed). This is huge, and would have saved me a ton of money early on (along with not overpaying 6x for the wrong shorts)

Next up, our hero engages the Fist of Justice, that weird cult-like dojo.

They all use Fighting-types, obviously...which means my Psychic-heavy party can crush this.

I thought it was time to fight the sensei, but instead he prances away.

Ah, so he's one of those senseis who bangs his students. There are a lot of those around, and they all weirdly resemble Steven Seagal. Well, Josee here isn't complaining so more power to everybody.

The next part is a search for sensei guy's sister. Emma (and her vacuum-sealed pants) is summoning all lookers to be on the case!

...........what?

She's over here acting like City Hall is a swinger's club or something. His sister is interested in the administration of government? Doesn't that just make her an active citizen?

I didn't hear a word any of them said in this conversation.

Yeah, I'm uh, I'm pretty lost on what is going on. Anyway I'll just follow Emma around.

Sexy poster of Canari here. ...well, about as sexy as anyone can get in that ridiculous getup.

Wrong, you totally CAN destroy city property as long as you're really mad and have a righteous cause. Even if it isn't real, as long as you believe really hard, that's good enough right? I mean I've been constantly told that for the past seven years or so.

Next up is the last thing this game needed at this hour...

...a gorram sewer dungeon. Has anyone ever been happy to see a sewer dungeon in a game?

It's cool to finally get some sort of actual dungeon in this game to vary it up...if only they hadn't made it a damn sewer dungeon. It's over pretty quickly, and the design is fairly uninspired. It's pretty clear where you need to go. This would barely get by as a floor of Tartarus.

There are so many dirty jokes to be made here, but not today. Today is a day of CLASS.

Next boss. Nobody knows how he got the title "Fist" and we're not asking questions.

This guy is all fighting types so I crush him with Psychic moves and move on. What's that, 7 big bosses down, 3 to go?

Next thing we know, Urbain goes and gets into deep debt with some loan sharks. Seems he borrowed 100k for advertising for the hotel. Why in the blue fuck did he need to buy 100k in advertising for the hotel?

...alright, it seems he actually borrowed something like 20k, and the rest is interest and penalties that they tacked on. Yeah, that sounds about right.

What? Why does this involve us? We're not married to Urbain.

Our heroes go and meet with the loan sharks, saying what we're all thinking. WTF is Urbain's malfunction?

The loan sharks say they were clear and upfront: 400% interest bay-beeee!

....not sure if I'd be asking that question of these seedy guys in this seedy room. Two nubile young women?

The loan shark leader says they might be able to get out of it if they do one succulent, passionate job for him.

Oh yeah, where is Urbain in all of this? Being a moron. While the ladies are doling out succulent jobs to try and keep him out of prison, Urbain over here is like "yah idk lol"

Moving on, it seems most of the work they have to do for the syndicate just involves doing the same stuff we've been doing. Also this creepy little goth is now following Cataluna around.

Next Rogue Mega boss! Mega Ampharos! ...are they intentionally picking mostly really unappealing 'mons to be Rogue Megas? These are some unappealing as hell bosses. It's almost like they're saving all the interesting 'mons for a sequel or something.

More climbing on and across rooftops like Assassin's Creed as I look for more Rogue Megas. All of this exercise is doing WONDERS for Cataluna's thighs, at least.

Next boss, Mawlie. I think it's a ghost. IDK. I'm pretty checked-out on this game.

Third one of this set, Barbaracle. What even is that?

This one has some huge AOEs, making it a bit more interesting of a fight, at least.

 Next is a short warehouse dungeon where our heroes rescue a Gengar. They still have a suspicious resemblance to Brood Edge of WWF 1999 fame.

That's it for today, just super checked-out. Game is nearly over, at least, but already I can confidently put this at the bottom of the list for Pokemon games. That's right, I would put this in last place for the main series (I consider the Legends games to be main series).