Corona Jumper: 2025

Sunday, December 7, 2025

The 1000 Games I've Beaten (#509 - 519)

#509 Mario Kart 64 (Nintendo 64) – Summer 2014

Today the list becomes MARIO MANIA. At this point in 2014 I decided it was time to finally play the Mario Kart series, having not beaten anything besides the SNES original back in 1996. Heck I didn't even play some of them at all. This was a pretty exciting endeavor...once I managed to actually get all of them up and running, which took a lot of work.

The Best And Worst Thing In Each Metroid Game

The Best and Worst of a series is a concept that I'm interested in doing a bit more with. I already did a Best and Worst for both the Mario series and the Soulsborne series; in the future I'll probably do several more of these. Each of the other game series' I'd like to do is missing a game or two that I need to play before I can comprehensively finish their lists, though. Now that Metroid's got its latest game I can finish this list.

Doing something a little different here and having a post with zero further images in it. More of an article. Like a regular website, only without the 14 ads obscuring the actual content, or flat text that could have been written by an AI. I've played and finished every game in this series / on this list, some many times over. Narrowing down the best and worst thing about each one was a lot more difficult than one would expect. Let's go.

Metroid Prime (GameCube, 2002)

With Metroid Prime 4 finally about to drop, it seemed like a good time to revisit and fix up the one post I did for a Prime series game. While sometimes I prefer their darker follow-ups, Prime 2 and Fusion, I feel like Prime is nearly tied with Super Metroid for the title of "best game in the series". That's some tall praise right there. Super Metroid is probably easier to revisit and has a nice quick flow to it, so I'd probably put it just above this one.

Fun Fact: The reason Metroid Prime 4 has taken so long is because it took a while to secure the rights to the Seinfeld riff every time Myles makes a joke.

Originally posted April 2013, now redone for 2025 with some new HD shots added. There'll be a mix of those and 2013 camera shots here.

The 1000 Games I've Beaten (#501 - 508)

#501 Elder Scrolls: Arena (PC) – Spring 2014

The first and maybe most ambitious game in this series. It started life as an arena combat game (hence the name) and somewhere along the line the developers decided to create an entire world. As such, Elder Scrolls pioneered the "massive open world" RPG design that later became all the rage with things like Fallout 3 and Witcher 3. It's basically a single-player game disguised as a giant MMO, so it's no wonder they eventually made an actual MMO out of this world.

Editor's Note: I finally brought this list back from the dead. The first 500 did really poor views compared to most other posts so it petered out. Time to continue it. Since I'm over 1000 now, maybe I should rename it "The First 1000 Games I Beat". Low views or not, these are interesting retrospectives for me to write and bring me back a bit. The nostalgia was much higher with the early entries, though, which is another reason I fell off from doing these.

Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall #3 - The Greatest Elder Scrolls Post

After spinning my wheels for about an hour trying to figure out how to level up, and unable to find any enemies to fight, I eventually went full Renegade. Next thing we know, Gazpacho the WILD MAN went on a rampage in a town, killing everyone in his path before being apprehended by guards.

Will Gazpacho do time in D-Block, being passed around by Julio "Sugar Bear" Martinez? NO! I THOUGHT I WAS PAST THOSE DAYS!

Originally Posted: July 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall #2 - The Keep on the Borderlands

Chapter II of many. If they stay on their current trajectory, we'll get Elder Scrolls IX in 2032.

(Future Editor's Note: lololololol)

Originally Posted: July 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall (PC, 1996)

IT BEGINS. The second game in the series, which might well be the largest videogame ever made in landmass, scope, and amount of content. No joke. Hard to believe they released this two years after Arena, given the five+ year development time on every game since. Join me as I do tons of character creation, and a minor amount of actual playing!

Originally Posted: July 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #7 - Finale

Time to finish this game up and move on to greener pastures, as I go to the Imperial Palace and fight Jagar Tharn.

Originally Posted June 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #6 - Between Doors

I wouldn't say you're too fake if the first thing you do is be brutally honest while introducing yourself. Isn't that the opposite of fake? Unless she's faking being fake, thereby causing her fakeness to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now I'm just confused. It's like John Connor sending his dad back in time to father himself.

Originally Posted June 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #5 - Battle of Evermore

In the latest episode, I pass the halfway point of the game and go after artifacts.

Not sure why it has me confused with a Red Guard. Sting doesn't break bread with Bolsheviks.

Originally Posted June 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #4 - The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn

Bellydancers strut their stuff as the heroic ~~Bob Marley~~ Sting looks for the next piece of the Staff of Chaos. Which would be nothing more than a lit blunt if Bob Marley had created it. In this episode I get the second and third of the eight fragments as the battle for Tamriel dungeon-crawls onward. Stir it up.

Originally Posted June 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #3 - Indulging and Drowning Valley

The Queen of Rihad is smokin'. She could tell me where Fang Lair is, but first I have to do something for her. Unfortunately, it isn't sexual favors; it's another dungeon called Stonekeep. Turns out that each of the main story dungeons has another dungeon you have to do to unlock it. Generally the key dungeons are much easier than the main dungeons, with a couple of exceptions. So each dungeon has its own Nappa dungeon, more or less.

Originally Posted May 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena #2 - Morning Glory Milking Farm

With character creation and the intro dungeon over with, I can set out in the actual world. It's one of the best game worlds of all time, and was especially unparalleled circa 1993. How much will this game actually be able to flesh out Tamriel, given the limitations of the time? I'm going to find out.

Originally Posted May 2014, now remastered for 2025

Elder Scrolls: Arena (PC, 1994)

I begin my long-awaited (by me) excursion into the highly-acclaimed Elder Scrolls saga. The saga begins with a bang... a 1994 MS-DOS poorly-lit, poorly-rendered bang. That said, this game is pretty sweet.

(Editor's Note: With Elder Scrolls Oblivion Remastered just recently dropping, it was time to get back into this series after a decade-long absence. I probably should have reposted these 4 months ago when Oblivion was hot off the presses and on everyone's lips. Better late than never)

Originally Posted May 2014, now remastered for 2025

Dragon Quest 1 Explorer's Handbook + Nintendo Power Strategy Guide Supplementary Scans

Today I've got a few dozen scans from the Dragon Warrior Explorer's Handbook (a fairly thick guide that came with the NES game) and the Nintendo Power Strategy Guide (a prettier but less in-depth guide that was included with an issue of Nintendo Power).

Look at how good people had it back then. Maps, spell lists, guides, all packed-in with the game. All of these things significantly enhanced something like DQ1 and turned it from a basic RPG to a whole world to explore that you'd be thinking about all day at school, waiting to get back to it.

Nowadays we're lucky if we get a slip of paper inside of a game. If people grouse about how good the entertainment industry used to be compared to now, they aren't just old grousers. They're right.

Dragon Quest 1 HD-2D, Part 5 - Finale

Gotta say, this remake is nice. It's a little too padded-out, needs too much grinding, should have kept the fights at one on one, and loses some of the "can theoretically go anywhere at any point in the game's progression if your character can handle it" vibe that the bite-sized other versions of this game delivered so well. However, if you want it to be a more substantial game in the style of last year's DQIII remake, then they landed that. It's high-effort, and I especially like the occasional artwork.

Dragon Quest 1 HD-2D, Part 4 - The Faerie Queene

Angry mobs suck.

Today on Dragon Quest, lots of new stuff happens. With the crests and the exploration, this version of the game has more in common with DQ2 than it ever did before. I like how these early DQ games feel like you're playing old literary tales like The Faerie Queene. It's a quality that the Ultima series also had in the 80's.

Dragon Quest 1 HD-2D, Part 3 - The Green Dragon

Previously on Dragon Quest: I got rofl-stomped by the Green Dragon, despite much preparation. This is presenting a much tougher challenge than your usual past versions of DQ1. Well, nobody said killing a dragon was supposed to be a given.

Today I'll need to go back and get it done whether I like it or not. Also, we've got Nintendo Power scans from 1989. Welcome back to the internet's most AI-proof site, because AI will never be this out of its mind.

Predators (2010)

Produced by Robert Rodriguez

Directed by Nimrod Antal

Starring Adrien Brody

Rated R

At this point, let the record books show that Predators is the best - and there isn't much competition - successor to the iconic original movie, which starred Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yes, Predator 2 was pretty awesome in its own kind of goofy way, and deserves to also be remembered. This movie, however, feels a lot more like a true follow-up to the first one. They could have just called it Predator 3, and made a conscious decision to give it a slightly more unique identity as a standalone entity. Matter of fact, the creators specifically said that the goal here was to have this movie be to Predator what Aliens was to Alien: a follow-up with new, badder, and more numerous variations of the foe. In that sense, I think they succeeded.

Originally posted July 2010, revived for 2025

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia - Act III

Wrapping "Halloween" up with one last Castlevania post. I wouldn't mind wrapping Shanoa up. Specifically, in mummy wrap so she can be Shishio and I'll be Kenshin. We can go around asking random houses for candy while people tell us "please leave, it's November" and "oh my God, there's a man with a sword outside! Honey call the police!"

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia - Act II

More Ecclesia, as I try to get into this game. Despite the highly-memorable main character, it completely failed to grab me in the first third or so of the game, and the linear level structure isn't doing it any favors so far.

Dragon Quest 1 HD-2D, Part 2 - Rescuing Gwaelin

When you think about it, this is pretty much the full-circle RPG. It was the first console JRPG in the West, bringing the playstyle of things like Wizardry off of the PC and onto the TV. Now here it is in a modern form. It's sort of like how the characters ingame are going full-circle with the events of their past.

Dragon Quest 1 HD-2D (Multiple, 2025)

I've played every other version of DQ1 under the sun, so I'm legally obligated to play the new ultimate version. Will I finish this game in four hours like the old versions, or will it pose a more robust threat? What kind of optional content did they add? Is there finally an Erdrick's Helm? Join me as I answer these and more pressing questions.

Ranking the Eight Igavania-Style Metroidvania Castlevanias

These games came out swinging right out of the gate, with Symphony of the Night setting an extremely high bar that the rest of the 2D 'Vanias worked hard to try and top. Did any of them succeed?

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia (Nintendo DS, 2008)

Shanoa is bringing sexy back.

Wait a minute. They also brought back Ayame Kojima's classic artstyle! Yes! YES! After two games of generic anime art that could have been anything, we're back to looking like Castlevania. Pretty awesome to go out with the old artstyle returning, but it would have been really cool if they'd continued that train of thought and also brought the Belmonts back for one last hurrah. Ah well.

Vampire Killer (MSX2, 1986)

The MSX2 adaptation of Castlevania, this game pre-dates almost the entire series. Released in Japan, Europe, and Brazil, but not the U.S., it's pretty much a lost footnote at this point. For whatever reason, it hasn't been ported to any modern collections. They forgot about Vampire Killer, much like people once forgot about Dre.

Gameplay-wise this is much closer to the NES game than the arcade Haunted Castle was, and follows the Metroidvania formula that later games in the series would frequently adopt. Well, sort of. It still takes place within confined stages, they're just more of a maze than a simple point A to point B. Which makes this...the first Sorta-Metroidvania in this series. The Protovania.

Note: Castlevania Bloodlines on the Genesis was also called Vampire Killer in Japan, but it wasn't a remake of this game or anything.

Bloodstained - Dominique's Curse (Playstation 4, 2024)

The second "classic mode" DLC for Bloodstained effectively functions as its own game. The first classic mode was a short linear-style action romp with Miriam taking on foes from the base game, while this one adds a bunch of entirely new areas/foes and gives you a totally different character to play. Far as I'm concerned it's a new game. I'm impressed because they didn't have to go the extra mile with it, they could have just cranked out another regular classic mode with a new character. We even have new items, and this one is styled to be as much like Simon's Quest as possible which makes for a pretty interesting game.

Castlevania Judgment (Wii, 2008)

It's Castlevania: The Fighting Game. That's right, they went full Dissidia here by bringing in characters from across the series to battle each other in a 3D fighting setting. Sounds awesome, right? Well, unfortunately, it's super mid. It's so mid, they should have called it Castlevania Judg-Mid.

None of the characters look the way they should, which is something that has always driven me nuts about various IPs that did similar things. If you bring in a beloved character and totally change their look, while calling them the same thing, people just aren't going to get excited the way they would if the look was recognizable. See also Zero's redesign in Mega Man Zero.

Regardless of all of this, it's the one time when the series tried to mash all of the games together in a crossover of sorts, so I'm playing through it with some of the characters before I move on to finishing the last two 2D 'Vanias.

Final Fantasy Tactics, Finale - Come What May

The final battle of this generational game.

Originally posted April 2016, now remastered for 2025

Final Fantasy Tactics, Part 8 - God of Thunder

Today on Final Fantasy Tactics: As the bounty on Ramza's head continues to grow like a Powerball jackpot, will Cloud achieve any level of usefulness any time soon? The good news: It's okay if he's useless, because now that I have Orlandu, I'll cut through the rest of the game like a hot knife through butter.

Also: Argath returns, in a PSP version exclusive!

Originally posted April 2016, now remastered for 2025

Final Fantasy Tactics, Part 7 - Boco Haram

Today on Final Fantasy Tactics... a special guest star arrives: The Yellow Rooster himself, Cloud Strife, sans nose. Bawk.

Originally posted April 2016, now remastered for 2025

Final Fantasy Tactics, Part 6 - Chapterhouse of Belias

Today on Final Fantasy Tactics... the hardest, most unfair, most obnoxious fight in the game. A fight that ended many playthroughs.

Originally posted March 2016, now remastered for 2025

Final Fantasy Tactics, Part 5 - Backside of Ivalice

At the center of the map is the Imperial Capital, from which all roads - and all power - emanates.

Originally posted March 2016, now remastered for 2025

Final Fantasy Tactics, Part 4 - Queklain's Tinnitus

Look at all the classes I've got unlocked now. Dragoon is a big one, but unfortunately it isn't any good until lances become a purchasable weapon type in stores. That isn't the case just yet. Went Thief to try and steal Gaffgarion's Blood Sword, but that ship has sailed. Alas.

Originally posted March 2016, now remastered for 2025

Final Fantasy Tactics, Part 3 - Faithless

Chapter 2 begins now. It's a bit more serious than everything up to this point. Not from a story perspective, because the story got depressing/serious a while ago; from a gameplay perspective. This is where things get difficult.

Originally posted March 2016, now remastered for 2025

Final Fantasy Tactics, Part 2 - None Shall Pass

The battle for Ivalice continues with the remainder of chapter one. In this one, I level up Ramza, murder my other party members, and deal with the bastardly Argath.

Originally posted March 2016, now remastered for 2025

Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions (Playstation, 1998 / PSP, 2007)

This is one of my favorite games of all time. I played it in early 1998 on the original Playstation, and it was a magical gaming experience. The great soundtrack and the unparalleled atmosphere gave it an edge over other strategy RPGs, while the gameplay and class/ability system were super-compelling and fun. Best of all, it doesn't have that stupid Judge system from Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. If you've only played those games, do yourself a favor and check out the original. This one...is where it's at.

It got a PSP remake in 2007, and that's what I'm covering here. With a redone translation and some new additions like cutscenes and optional endgame stuff, this might be my favorite version of the game.

Originally posted March 2016, now remastered for 2025

Final Fantasy Tactics: Five Geomancer Challenge Longplay

Quick post organizing playthrough videos for FFT. The Geomancer-only challenge was a neat idea, but it ended up being pretty messy. First, I take a moment to fondly look back on the awesome cover art. It made a strong impression on me when I was younger, even though it lied about the five-character party. A lot of these battles only allow four characters! Da hell, Square?