Virtua Fighter (Sega 32X, 1995)

Since I played the second game in the series, why not the first? Besides that I'll take any chance I can get to play something on the 32X.

1995. This is a year when 2D games were reaching their absolute apex graphically, like Chrono Trigger. Meanwhile non-Nintendo companies were going hard into the 3D realm, and...well, early 3D may have been technologically advanced, but it didn't age well compared to the 2D of the time.

We've got a pad selection!

Akira is the game's "main character", at least as much as Ryu or Liu Kang are in their games.

 The Rock says: "Do you like...Pai?"

Akira battles Jacky-Boy of Sons of Anarchy fame. And yeah...early 3D is pretty iffy compared to what 2D fighters looked like at the time.

Is Akira attacking with a butt-charge? He isn't Jeffry!

Speaking of Jeffry...here he is. I dominated the second game with this guy.

Annnd I lose. These 3D fighters are not my forte at all. I don't "get" them. In 2D fighters I rely a lot on jumping attacks, so the giant floaty moon-jumps of Virtua Fighter are a bit of a nerf for my playstyle.

Looking at some other characters. Here's Jacky-Boy, a Richie-style racer.

Here's Sarah. Her occupation? College student. I'd give a left-ball to be 21 and in college again. Maybe not these days but yeah.

Lau is the nefarious old guy. Didn't he fight Kid Goku in the original Dragonball?

Wolf is the big Russian wrestler. Since they didn't want to get sued by the makers of Zangief, they made him look like Chief Thunder.

Kage is the resident ninja. And somewhere, the creators of Naruto got an idea.

I go with Sarah, and quickly start winning.

...until Sarah Vs. Sarah! In addition to being what Jerry Lawler sees when he closes his eyes, this fight is a bit of a jump in difficulty.

I'll take wins by count-out or ring-out in this series. Any wins I can get, no matter how nefarious. I'll use a chair behind the ref's back.

Pai with a BRUTAL CLOTHESLINE.

Oh no! The ring-out is being used against me now! DON'T FALL, SAR-

-and we're ded

Took a game over at this point because I was tired. I'll have a rematch with Pai soon enough.

Battling Kage in front of Mt Fuji. This is pretty cool. It's over 12,000 ft in height and that's completely bewildering when you see it up close in person.

A winner is you.

PAI: THE RECKONING.

Here she is completely destroying Sarah's ovaries with DOUBLE KNEES TO THE NEUSSEN.

Yeah, I'm still not faring too well against Sarah. Time for me to break out my secret weapon...

That's right. Time for a JEFFRY DESTRUCTION MONTAGE.

Ho ho ho! They aren't ready for this. The Flying Butt Slam will carry me to victory once again. Prepare yourself, Pai!

You have no chance to survive make your Pai!

Oh my God! GET HER OFF ME.

Huh.

......well, the Flying Butt Slam doesn't work in this one. Never mind.

I switch back to Sarah, seen here challenging Pai to a dance-off. "You got nothin' on me" she says when reached for comment.

After many, many tries...I finally managed to get a ring-out. Was aiming to edge her out on HP as time expired, and lucked into getting her into the corner instead.

YEAH! YEAH!

...so yeah, Pai is the secret uberboss of Virtua Fighter 1.

Next we battle Wolf in front of a sky that looks right out of Mario 64.

DELAYED VERTICAL SUPLEX.

Fighting Lau in the desert. Sarah's kicks have a lot of reach and are the key to winning a lot of these fights. No one has been as tough as Pai yet.

Akira is the game's final boss. Another pretty rad sky here.

"Yeah! Yeah!"

The "bonus round" is against Dural. If you lose, it goes to the credits. If you win, it goes to the credits. The ending seemed to be the same either way. I don't get it. Why not just have this thing be the final boss in these games?

I won after a couple tries. Wasn't as tough as Pai.

Well, that was fun. Any game that ends with a T-1000 reference is alright by me.