Ranking All Six April Fool's Posts

 

I didn't have any new ideas this year, so I'm just going to do a ranking list for the other ones. People love rankings and top lists.

Highlander 5x12 - Revelation 6:8

 

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat upon him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the Earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with the beasts of the Earth.

-The Book of Revelation, Chapter 6, Verse 8

And I heard as if it were the noise of thunder

One of the four beasts saying, "Come and See"

-Johnny Cash, "When The Man Comes Around"

Pokemon Legends: Z-A, Part 5 - Grand Est Strasbourg

 

Cataluna gets PEARL HARBORED by a vicious Beedrill. At least one of these Rogue Mega boss fights is finally using an actual appealing Pokémon.

I'll say it again, the main character's outfit is completely carrying the game. This game is...not great. And it's a shame because they could have really done so much with the France setting and re-creating some of the rain-drenched, mossy locales therein. Instead we got this one town where basically everything looks the same, everywhere you go.

Pokemon Legends: Z-A, Part 4 - Canari's Coal Mine

 

Today on Pokemon: Cataluna lures Lida up onto a rooftop. How much do any of these people actually know about Cataluna? She never speaks, and everyone knows redheads are coo-coo. I wouldn't follow her onto a rooftop.

Highlander 5x11 - Comes a Horseman

This is the beginning of what I consider the best seven-episode run in the entire show. While they've had a couple of really solid episode groups before (S1's "Band of Brothers" and a few episodes after it, S3's "Song of the Executioner" and a few episodes after it), this is the longest and most consistent run of quality they ever had. Everything from "Comes a Horseman" to "The Modern Prometheus" are A+ episodes, and knocking out those seven episodes is a big goal of mine for the near future. Then after that I've just got the final 14 episodes and one movie and then I can pretty much put the site in an antique store (have a couple other series' to finish first, too).

"Forgive Us Our Trespasses", if placed last in those seven, could even be a good place to end the series outright and have it be an introspective ending. "Duende" would also be a great finale, if you want to go out with a big battle (but it's a pretty average episode, carried entirely by the final battle). Considering that S5 is so abbreviated and ends four episodes sooner than previous seasons, they sure upped the quality level to compensate. In my view, anyway. I'm sure more than a few people would disagree with my assessment of "The Ransom of Richard Redstone" being included in this "incredible seven-episode run" but just work with me here. A Richie comedy episode is some needed levity at this point.

Aired on February 3rd 1997, this coincided with the beginning of the Sting vs NWO storyline in rasslin', and AOL chat rooms were going nuts around that time talking about both. Would Methos turn on the Four Horsemen? Who would join Ric Flair's Four Horsemen to fight the NWO?

Kronos is the biggest bad guy in this entire show; while Kalas has a longer duration of being a threat (a five-episode arc rather than two - though Kronos does pop up again several times later... sort of), Kronos is the bigger threat by a lot, and feels more like he belongs in a Highlander movie. Both of them have the distinction of having prior wins over Duncan, as well.

This season's theme of running from your past and the unavoidable consequences of not facing it...really comes to a head here.

Street Fighter Alpha: Warriors' Dreams (Arcade, 1995)

 

I have a theory that this game was intended to be a replacement for Street Fighter 1. Every generation of this series has gotten a distinct "era" with multiple revisions...except the first one, which is a bit of a lost game and lost era. The project head for Street Fighter 1 left the company soon after to work on SNK's Fatal Fury, and the new showrunners made Street Fighter 2. I think that said showrunners wanted to make their own "origin gen" to replace SF1, and thus Street Fighter Alpha (or Street Fighter Zero in Japan) was born.

As a result, this game is pretty interesting to me, as a re-creation of the genesis of the series. Much like SF1, Ryu's story mode in this game is his journey to defeat Sagat (and along the way, his understudy Adon). We also get SF1 characters like Birdie. It's basically them going back and making a "Street Fighter Generation 1" that actually meets its potential.

Street Fighter II (Game Boy, 1995)

 

I'm reading that this version only contains six of the original eight fighters. Much like the portable versions of Mortal Kombat, someone had to get the axe. Who would they pick? Normally I'd guess Blanka and Dhalsim; The latter would probably be harder to program than the other characters due to his long reach, while the former never struck me as a particularly popular character. I've never heard anyone talk about how much they love Blanka, or seen anyone playing as Blanka. ...he's on the box, though, so it was probably E-Honda and Dhalsim that got dropped due to their unconventional proportions. Well, let's find out.

Pokemon Legends: Z-A, Part 3 - Club Vandermon

 

Today on Pokémon Legends Z-A, Cataluna gets dragged into more of this Poké-battling nonsense, as I begin to wonder if anyone actually goes to college in this universe. Is she never going to start the European Sex Tour with her new best friend Lida? It was supposed to be their journey of self-discovery, ending in Barcelona.

Dragon Quest VII? There is no Dragon Quest VII.

Pokemon Legends: Z-A, Part 2 - The Quest For Shoes

 

Previously on Pokémon Legends: Z-A...our protagonist Cataluna had to cancel her planned European Sex Tour to instead be a looker for the Looker Bureau. Apparently you gotta look pretty good to be a looker and solve detective cases. All of that said, the main mystery for me to solve in this game is finding some damn decent shoes.

Dragon Quest VII is on my desk, we're reviewing it right now, it's pretty shocking stuff.

Romancing SaGa 2 Remake (Multiple, 2024), Part 1 - The Lion and the Sun

 

This is a really, really good remake. Wow. I think it flew under the radar to an extent. I really enjoyed playing the original version of this game and it's obscure enough that I'm surprised to see it remade. This is a bit of a hidden gem in the Squaresoft library, and the original RS2 is probably the best out of all the SaGa games outside of maybe SaGa Frontier. This series is very spotty, very hit-or-miss. Looking forward to seeing if this remake surges out ahead of Frontier to become the new SaGa best-in-series.

Rather than being HD-2D, they gave this one a full 3D makeover. It's different from most 3D remakes though, with a very distinct visual style that prioritizes light effects and really nice environments over framerate. On Switch you're stuck at 30 FPS or so, but damn, the visuals in this game sure do have a lot of personality regardless. I tried the PS5 version and that's at 60 FPS, presumably Switch 2 is also pulling that off. The visuals are so distinctive and classy that I didn't even particularly mind when it was 30. Anyway, I'm not going to cover this game for real until/unless I wrap up the SaGa series, but I'm down to check out the demo now and I might as well post it rather than leaving it for later.

The 1000 Games I've Beaten (#596 - 621)

 

#596 Assassin's Creed: Syndicate (Playstation 4) – Fall 2015

This impossibly-hot character isn't from the game and has nothing to do with the game. It's just a reminder of how cool it'd be to have ever gotten a female version of Ezio, a female assassin main character who is just absolutely gorgeous and formidable. Not very subtle, but still, the outfit can be explained by her working in a cabaret or as a dancer/woman of the night in order to get closer to a target she's hellbent on felling, before being handpicked to join the Assassin Order.

I mention all of this because Assassin's Creed: Syndicate... is the first main-series, console AC game to actually give us a female protagonist! We waited a long time to get a female protagonist in this series, watching absolute lay-up Elise de la Serre get passed over as playable in AC Unity.

Pokemon Legends: Z-A (Switch 2, 2025), Part 1 - Eurotrip and the Looker Bureau

 

I interrupt this DQ-palooza to briefly check out the latest Pokémon game. I wasn't crazy about Arceus, while lots of others were. Last I checked, this game isn't exactly getting rave reviews, so maybe I'll conversely really like it. They took the bold step of making this a real-time hybrid action game (with dodge rolls, for some reason, cause everybody wants to be a Soulslike now).

This game takes place entirely in the hub city from Generation 6's Kalos. It's an interesting idea that I'm not sure really pans out. At least they're trying new things with the Legends games; Arceus introduced some open world concepts that were then heavily-refined by the Generation 9 games (IMO Gen 9 is waaaay better than Arceus specifically because it takes what worked and makes it much more appealing... sorry the framerate is bad and whatnot, but Gen 9 otherwise worked).

Dragon Quest III HD-2D Remake, Part 9 (Epilogue Final) - Father and Son

 

DQIII's postgame was too much for one post, so here's the back half. Will Erdrick get closure with the loss of his dad? What will the final postgame superboss be? Will I get the platinum trophy? Will I ever move on to Dragon Quest VII? Tune in to find out.

Dragon Quest III HD-2D Remake, Part 8 (Epilogue) - Rainbow Push

 

The Dragon Quest III HD-2D posts were over a year ago, but I'm going to go ahead and add to the stack. That's right, I've been revisiting DQIII to do the platinum trophy and (hopefully) dominate the endgame that gave me quite a bit of grief the first time.

Have a score to settle with King Hydra, and a wrong to put right for Ortega.

Dragon Quest II HD-2D, Part 13 (Finale) - You Are Beautiful On The Inside

 

Today on the final post of Dragon Quest II (ever), I must Rock The Dragon.

Dragon Quest II HD-2D, Part 12 - Surrounded By Demons, I Fight

Next stop, I go and get all the Ultimate Key chests. The undersea world doesn't have much in it, but it does have these store-rooms with Ultimate Key chests and optional semi-bosses.

The Best And Worst Thing In Each Yakuza Game

 

This will include the Yakuza games that I've played (which is all of them, but not the original versions of some of them from 20 years ago, just the most current and modern versions of each).

Dragon Quest II HD-2D, Part 11 - Deep Lies The Snow

 

Rhone gets built up a lot in this game. As well it should be. It takes a lot more to give the audience the same kind of feelings that snow tiling did on the NES almost 40 (Jesus) years ago.

"I am cold like December snow!"

Dragon Quest II HD-2D, Part 10 - Panem et Circenses

At this point I have no problem saying that this is one of the best games in the whole Dragon Quest series. While the original DQII is still down a few tiers, this remake could be up there with the DQVs and DQXIs of the world in the upper tier.

Four sigils down! One sigil left! Because it's time...for our main event. Brrrrr.

Mortal Kombat Master Post

 

Here are all the MK links in one place and a tier list now that I (completely) finished the series. What a completely bonkers series.