Pokemon Platinum (Generation 4), Part 3 - Gardenia

 

Today on Pokemon, the important questions get asked. What is Team Galactic really up to? What's beyond Eterna Forest? And is Dawn about to go on a European Sex Tour like the woman in Pokemon Legends Z-A did? Amsterdam, here we come.

In Eterna Forest, this woman joins you to form a party, and this gives you a huge advantage. She helps with trainer battles (which are all double battles). More importantly, she heals your party after every fight, fully, revives even. There are only a couple of times in the game where this happens, and they're ideal leveling spots because you can grind away on random fights without any worries.

Damn, that's a great pair of hooters she's got there.

Machop then pops a champagne bottle and the cork accidentally takes out the last Hoothoot. The Hoothoot Preservation Society is OUTRAGED and we will hear from their lawyers.

These two tried to catch Dawn with a net. There are easier ways to get her interested in a menage et trois, you lunatics.

I'm starting to have a couple of serious issues with this game. One, most enemies go before my Pokemon do, on every turn. Even if I'm a higher level than they are. Seems like I need to have a 10+ level advantage to reliably go first. All my 'mons are in this boat. Maybe they all have poor Speed? Either way, going second on every turn makes everything more tedious. Battles take longer, enemies always have the advantage.

Second, and more annoyingly, this game LOVES status effects. It was even worse in Diamond/Pearl, and combined with the slow speed of those games, made them nearly unplayable for me back in the day. Which is why I go straight to Platinum for Gen 4. It obsoletes them entirely. The status effects are still a problem, and starting earlier than I expected. Constantly either stunned, confused, or asleep. (Editor's Note: This gets better as the game goes on)

The sense-tingling is probably because of Dawn's skirt. It has people out here trying to catch her with nets. She isn't a Pokemon, though I understand the confusion.

WHO'S THAT POKEMON??

I did a lot of grinding in Eterna Forest while I had the free heals.

RAPIDASH COUNTDOWN: 21 levels left

Unfortunately, my ally left before I was ready. Could have used a bit more grinding, because I have a very tough fight coming up. The third gym is home to Fantina, the toughest Gen 4 fight besides the final boss. In Diamond/Pearl she was the fifth gym, which was a much more sensible placement. She was STILL tough even then. Moving her to gym 3? Oof. She isn't as deadly as Whitney in Gen 2, the toughest of all third gyms. She's probably second-place though.

I have another gym between now and then, at least. Gardenia here is, get this, grass-type, and I just got ten levels on my fire-type. Not too worried about this one.

Eterna City is home to an impressive statue. I think this is Arceus? Unsure.

Another random guy is way too happy to see Dawn.

"I have a boyfriend" says Dawn.

Oh, wait. That's no random guy. That's no guy at all. That...is Cynthia, the Pokemon Champion of Gen 4 and the toughest final boss in this entire series. Dawn doesn't know that yet.

She turns over the crucial HM of Cut. HMs are a real hassle in this game, taking up EIGHT move spots by the end of the game (that's a third of your party's moves) and the only way to remove them is to go talk to a guy in the third to last town in the game.

Much like shared EXP, turning HMs into non-equipped field-moves (or at least overwrite-able moves) can't happen soon enough in this series.

Bidoof (later Bibarel) is easily the best HM mule for Gen 4, and can equip pretty much all of them (except Fly and Defog). So that will keep the HMs off my actual combatants, for the most part.

You don't say.

Time for Ponyta to continue to break away from the pack by sweeping Gym 2 with Flame Wheel.

Nothing here is any major threat, and they mostly use status effects. Much like Erika in Gen 1, grass-type gyms just aren't any kind of problem if you have a fire-type. If you don't...they might be, but I've never had that happen.

Somewhere, a guy who didn't get Poke Balls and unknowingly spent his first Gen 1 playthrough as an unintentional Squirtle Solo Game can be heard screaming. Well buddy, you should have had a subscription to Nintendo Power.

What an erotic sentence.

She's talking about this rotating platform, which pretty much ensures that you have to fight all of the trainers in here. This is a completely different gym from what Diamond/Pearl have, and I'll see that version in the remake.

Long as I went and rested up Ponyta every couple of fights (especially before this one), this gym was no problem. I only gained two levels from the trainers, despite using one 'mon for all of them, which is low. Maybe it doesn't expect me to be this leveled from Eterna Forest.

Gardenia sports a Turtwig, giving her the starter I'm weak against. As mentioned, a Nipple H Solo Game would have a problem here.

Her best 'mon is the final form of the Rose line, Roserade. This is a solid grass-type and I'm going to work on getting one of my own, possibly even for the final team, we'll see. Definitely for the late game. It requires a Shiny Stone to evolve and that can't be obtained until fairly late. As for this fight, as long as Ponyta goes first most of the time, none of these 'mons have a chance. Two badges down, six to go.

Cut is now usable after beating the gym leader (another annoying thing about HMs in these early gens is that you can't use them until you beat a certain amount of gyms, so you usually have them equipped for nothing at first) and gets me access to...

...a Team Galactic base. These guys own more real estate than Blackrock.

In here, a hivemind of Borg-like blue-haired spacemen with bowl cuts are hard at work. There's something weirdly familiar about their look...are they the aliens from Galaxy Quest?

I meet the second of Team Galactic's Four Generals, Jupiter. I bet he's a giant dude.

...whoa, Jupiter is in fact a svelte lady. At least Team Galactic has some sex appeal. She must be the one they send out to recruit impressionable young people.

Her main minion is Skuntank. These normal-type skunk 'mons are a favorite of Team Galactic, and they're immune to a lot of moves. Just have to find something that works against them and stick to that.

Jupiter then pitches that Dawn either join Team Galactic or stay away from them. "We're like the Manson Family" she says. "We basically have orgies all the time and sing songs about peace and love while we await the race war."

All of that was to rescue the local bike shop owner, who Team Galactic kidnapped. Right now they seem like a bunch of weirdoes, but they're going to get a lot more malevolent soon enough.

Cynthia shows up and gives Dawn a mysterious egg. This isn't a drug mule thing, is it? I hope she isn't expecting Dawn to gulp it down and cross the border.

I have to lug this thing around for a while, it looks like. What's in it? WHAT'S IN THE EGG?

Next I get rewarded with a bike. This makes getting around a lot quicker, especially when set to the Y button shortcut.

This thing has two gears, a regular gear (faster than normal sprinting) and a speed gear that gives you less control while making you zoom.

Dawn now heads south on the Bike Highway, where a bunch of cyclists accost her. "We have so much in common!" says this one.

Alright, these cyclists have got it goin' on. They seem to be dressed for an entirely different season than Dawn.

Cyclist: "So, what are you doing after this?"

Dawn: "I have a boyfriend"

The cyclist then crashes into some hedges. Well Dawn, I hope you're happy. I hope you're happy breaking all these hearts!

While helping her up, in the hedges they run into a Hiker doing God Knows What.

Hiker: "Don't dig anywhere around these squares right here. THAAANKS!"

Something that isn't an HM, and functions like one, is Flash. You need it to light up this one cavern, and then it's never needed again. Which is good because it can get learned over, unlike HMs.

Whoa. The egg hatched into this little beast. He goes around wearing the eggshell as pants.

Look at him go! Also, right here is one of the most important catches of the game. Ralts is what eventually becomes Gardevoir, a powerful Psychic type that can also use Grass and Electric, covering a lot of enemy weaknesses at once.

This is a big one. I need to get Ralts to level 30 (and Gardevoir) ASAP, and it joins the penguin and the horse as my Big 3 party members. Would like a Kadabra and a Roserade as well, but I have to factor in that I might need as many as two HM mules. There will also likely be a legendary to get later on.

It's difficult to plan a final party when my memory of the late game is sparse - I played this ten years ago.

That's it for today, as Team Galactic's mysterious leader Cyrus makes an appearance to be cryptic. What is it that these oddball spacemen want?

More later.

Pokemon Legends: Arceus Posts (The other game that takes place in Sinnoh)

Other Pokemon Posts