10 Games I Didn't Enjoy, But Still Finished

Today I'm going to take a look at some games that I played and finished, but really didn't have a very good time with in the process.

Note: This isn't a "worst games" list. Matter of fact, the majority of these games aren't what I'd consider "bad". That's why you won't be seeing Bebe's Kids or Shaq Fu on here. This is a list of games that were good enough to finish, but ultimately not very enjoyable for me.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages Finale - Death of Seasons

I...I think Princess Zelda is giving birth to Ganon. Holy Hell.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons #5 - Winter

Today I will beat the game

Gaze upon the cyclopean ghost

This was haiku~

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons #4 - Autumn

 

 Winter is coming.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons #3 - Summer

Ricky the Kangaroo may have dumped our hero, but now Link has found Dimitri the Dodongo. Who knew that a day would come when man and Dodongo could exist in harmony?

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons #2 - Spring

 

Previously on Oracle of Seasons, former Vermont governor Howard Dean cut a battle rap on the Dungeon 1 boss, shaming him offstage with tales of his time in Cranbrook (that's a private school!)

Now, Link takes a moment to talk to...a guy in sunglasses? Did I step into Earthbound?

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons (Game Boy Color, 2001)

Here we go, the other half of the Oracle equation. Ages had to do with the flow of time, while this one has to do with the passing of seasons. Which is also time. Er...

Well, point is, while Ages had you bouncing between past and present, this one has you bouncing between the four seasons (in the present, I guess) to affect your surroundings. So basically, Link can control the weather. Which would be really cool in real life, especially when we just had the hottest month in Earth's history.

While Ages is very difficult and puzzle-heavy, this one is on the easier side and combat-centric. I vastly prefer this game. Seriously, Ages was hard to enjoy. Onward and upward though.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages Finale - Age of the Fall

Previously on Oracle of Ages... Queen Ambi became Locutus of the Borg. Now, Link must face the horror that is Dungeon 7, along with whatever not-as-bad stuff happens after that.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages #4 - Oracle Fixation

WTF.

I apologize in advance for how not up to par this will be. I played this a while ago and it's tough to remember all the details. Let's get to it.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages #3 - Dodongo Dislikes Dean

As far as I can tell, most people played Seasons first. I should have started with that one myself because it's a lot easier than this brutal game. Ah well. ProTip: Play Seasons first.

Moonlit Grotto: A terrific place to bring a date...that you're trying to kill for some reason.

Final Fantasy XV: Episode Duscae

 Got ahold of a demo code, very unexpectedly, for the latest Final Fantasy. I'M EXCITED. No idea what to expect (except that the four heroes are douchebags), so let's jump into this.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages #2 - Teaching Mr. Tingle

Today in Oracle of Ages: The psycho-sexual thriller of the year. Starring Natalie Portman, Tingle, and Tingle's tiny green penis. Oh yeah.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages (Game Boy Color, 2001)

This game is really something else. It actually surpasses Link's Awakening in a lot of ways and never ceases to be thrilling. That said, it's extremely difficult. I'd go so far as to call it the hardest game in the entire Zelda series. It's difficult and puzzle-centric, while the twin game, Oracle of Seasons, is easier and action-centric. That right there might tell you all you need to know about which of these games is for you. ProTip: Finishing one of the two gives you a password that you can use to start the other game at like a third of max health. If you're planning to play both, I highly advise playing Seasons first so you can take the power boost into the more difficult Ages.

Oracle of Ages and Seasons: Coming Soon

THIS SUMMER.

Suikoden vs. The World

The Suikoden series is one of my favorite RPG series out there, when it comes down to it.  Because Suikoden has so many characters (108 per game), there's bound to be some name overlap between the cast of the series and the rest of the media that exists in the world. Today I find out who would win in battles to the death between the Suikoden cast and their namesakes elsewhere.

Wolfenstein: The New Order (Multiple, 2014)

Now that's a title screen. This is one of my favorite games from last year, and tells a brilliant story of an alternate timeline where the Nazis won World War 2. Today was the release of The Old Blood, a DLC prequel to this game, so I figured it'd be a good time to take a quick look at the main game.

This post is mainly about the newspaper clippings peppered throughout the game that fill in the backstory, as the majority of the game takes place in an alternate post-war 1960. BJ Blaskowicz was in a coma for most of the new 1946-1960, so the missing decade and a half of alternate events is something he's learning about along with you.

Alien: Isolation (Multiple, 2014)

Back to the games, as I spend some time with that awesome Alien game everybody raves about, yet it seems like nobody has finished because it's so damn long.

A Shot-by-Shot Breakdown of the Terminator: Genisys Trailer

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a really big Terminator fan. As a result, I was pretty psyched when I learned that a full trailer was out for the newest movie in the franchise. I don't know if this movie will be any good or not, and I think the name is stupid, but By God, this trailer was COOL. There's a shot-for-shot breakdown on a major internet site (it rhymes with die glow mime) and while I enjoy that site, I didn't think their breakdown was very good. Rather than complain about it, I said why the hell not do my own if I think I can do better?

Come with me if you want to live.

Arguing With Terminator Salvation Nitpicks

 With the impending release of Terminator Genisys - which I'm pretty stoked about - I'm going to revisit some old Terminator posts as well as checking out some of the (usually terrible) games based on the series.

Before that: Terminator Salvation. Released in 2009 and alternately praised/reviled by moviegoers, the fourth Terminator movie is controversial. This movie has a lot more attention to detail than people give it credit for, yet I've seen it get torn apart on the internet a lot. Then again, what doesn't get torn up on the internet? In any case, this movie got a lot of flak, so I'm going to take a few of the more common nitpicks and do my best to argue with them here. Terminator Salvation isn't the best movie in the world and can't compare to the first two movies in the series, but it's a step up from Terminator 3 and a well-done addition to the series mythology. I appreciated the amount of thought that went into this movie.

Dragonball Evolution (2009)

It's time for a look at one of the worst theatrical movies out there that's based on anime. This movie (very, very) loosely follows the events of the original Dragonball series, minus one very important character: Oolong. And by that I mean Kuririn. Okay, it doesn't really follow Dragonball much at all. And considering it was relying ENTIRELY on fans of Dragonball to turn out and watch it...