Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages Finale - Age of the Fall

Previously on Oracle of Ages... Queen Ambi became Locutus of the Borg. Now, Link must face the horror that is Dungeon 7, along with whatever not-as-bad stuff happens after that.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages #4 - Oracle Fixation

WTF.

I apologize in advance for how not up to par this will be. I played this a while ago and it's tough to remember all the details. Let's get to it.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages #3 - Dodongo Dislikes Dean

As far as I can tell, most people played Seasons first. I should have started with that one myself because it's a lot easier than this brutal game. Ah well. ProTip: Play Seasons first.

Moonlit Grotto: A terrific place to bring a date...that you're trying to kill for some reason.

Final Fantasy XV: Episode Duscae

 Got ahold of a demo code, very unexpectedly, for the latest Final Fantasy. I'M EXCITED. No idea what to expect (except that the four heroes are douchebags), so let's jump into this.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages #2 - Teaching Mr. Tingle

Today in Oracle of Ages: The psycho-sexual thriller of the year. Starring Natalie Portman, Tingle, and Tingle's tiny green penis. Oh yeah.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages (Game Boy Color, 2001)

This game is really something else. It actually surpasses Link's Awakening in a lot of ways and never ceases to be thrilling. That said, it's extremely difficult. I'd go so far as to call it the hardest game in the entire Zelda series. It's difficult and puzzle-centric, while the twin game, Oracle of Seasons, is easier and action-centric. That right there might tell you all you need to know about which of these games is for you. ProTip: Finishing one of the two gives you a password that you can use to start the other game at like a third of max health. If you're planning to play both, I highly advise playing Seasons first so you can take the power boost into the more difficult Ages.

Oracle of Ages and Seasons: Coming Soon

THIS SUMMER.

Suikoden vs. The World

The Suikoden series is one of my favorite RPG series out there, when it comes down to it.  Because Suikoden has so many characters (108 per game), there's bound to be some name overlap between the cast of the series and the rest of the media that exists in the world. Today I find out who would win in battles to the death between the Suikoden cast and their namesakes elsewhere.

Wolfenstein: The New Order (Multiple, 2014)

Now that's a title screen. This is one of my favorite games from last year, and tells a brilliant story of an alternate timeline where the Nazis won World War 2. Today was the release of The Old Blood, a DLC prequel to this game, so I figured it'd be a good time to take a quick look at the main game.

This post is mainly about the newspaper clippings peppered throughout the game that fill in the backstory, as the majority of the game takes place in an alternate post-war 1960. BJ Blaskowicz was in a coma for most of the new 1946-1960, so the missing decade and a half of alternate events is something he's learning about along with you.

Alien: Isolation (Multiple, 2014)

Back to the games, as I spend some time with that awesome Alien game everybody raves about, yet it seems like nobody has finished because it's so damn long.

A Shot-by-Shot Breakdown of the Terminator: Genisys Trailer

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a really big Terminator fan. As a result, I was pretty psyched when I learned that a full trailer was out for the newest movie in the franchise. I don't know if this movie will be any good or not, and I think the name is stupid, but By God, this trailer was COOL. There's a shot-for-shot breakdown on a major internet site (it rhymes with die glow mime) and while I enjoy that site, I didn't think their breakdown was very good. Rather than complain about it, I said why the hell not do my own if I think I can do better?

Come with me if you want to live.

Arguing With Terminator Salvation Nitpicks

 With the impending release of Terminator Genisys - which I'm pretty stoked about - I'm going to revisit some old Terminator posts as well as checking out some of the (usually terrible) games based on the series.

Before that: Terminator Salvation. Released in 2009 and alternately praised/reviled by moviegoers, the fourth Terminator movie is controversial. This movie has a lot more attention to detail than people give it credit for, yet I've seen it get torn apart on the internet a lot. Then again, what doesn't get torn up on the internet? In any case, this movie got a lot of flak, so I'm going to take a few of the more common nitpicks and do my best to argue with them here. Terminator Salvation isn't the best movie in the world and can't compare to the first two movies in the series, but it's a step up from Terminator 3 and a well-done addition to the series mythology. I appreciated the amount of thought that went into this movie.

Dragonball Evolution (2009)

It's time for a look at one of the worst theatrical movies out there that's based on anime. This movie (very, very) loosely follows the events of the original Dragonball series, minus one very important character: Oolong. And by that I mean Kuririn. Okay, it doesn't really follow Dragonball much at all. And considering it was relying ENTIRELY on fans of Dragonball to turn out and watch it...

Destiny (All the systems, 2014)

 Today I'm taking a look at last year's most-mediocre most-hyped PS3 game! Also on PS4.

Final Fantasy VI: Strago Solo Game (Ruin Edition)

The Strago solo game rolls on as I take on the rest of WoR and the big bads in Kefka's Tower.

Final Fantasy VI: Strago Solo Game (Balance Edition)

I'm feeling ultra-nostalgic as of late. Know what I'd like to do? Play FFVI solo... as Strago. Nowadays, Final Fantasy games just aren't what they used to be. They have titles like Fabulous Nova Whispering Dawn of Ladyparts that sound more like feminine hygiene products than video games. Once upon a time, though, the series was pretty damn great. And FFVI might have been the highest point. Maybe. It's also noteworthy for having a female main character.

Then again, compared to most of the men in later Final Fantasy games, Terra is one of the less feminine Final Fantasy main characters. But this isn't about her; it's about Strago, the spell-slinging hip wunderkind from the upper east side of Thamasa. Can I beat this game with just one character? Read on.

Altered Beast (Sega Genesis, 1988)

This is a game that got requested a while ago. I'd seen glimpses of it previously, and it definitely wasn't on my agenda. However, in this case I'm glad that I gave it a shot, because it's RAD TO THE MAX. I'll put it out there that if you have any games you'd like to see looked at here, go ahead and let me know in any given comments section.

In any case, this game is responsible for more emergency calls to Animal Control than any other game in history.

Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland (Game Boy Advance, 2002)

In today's MAN-SIZED post, I cover the super-cool Kirby's Adventure remake.

Kirby's Adventure (NES, 1993)

Today we're looking at a very special game. It's his console debut, as well as the birth of Kirby in his power-absorbing incarnation. It's not a literal birth, though, 'cause...that'd be gross, and I already covered Bloodborne.

Kirby's Dream Land 3 (Super NES, 1997)

 One of the last Super NES games.