Lufia: Ruins of Lore Finale - But The Fall Is Short

Time for the grand finale of Ruins of Lore, the only game whose developers furiously masturbate every time a player has to replay a dungeon that they've already finished.

Lufia: Ruins of Lore #5 - The Tower Is Tall

Wait a second... an underwater utopia that is destined to collapse under its own excesses? Did we step into Bioshock? Find out, on the next painstaking chapter of Ruins of Lore.

Lufia: Ruins of Lore #4 - The Horror

Back to the horrific dungeons. I'd rather get a root canal than do a dungeon from this game, and that's no exaggeration. This one has a creepy stone head as an entrance, so at least that's kind of cool.

The following takes place in an incredibly boring game with characters you want to set on fire.

Lufia: Ruins of Lore #3 - Save Us

............

::holds ears:: THE SOUNDS! THEY DON'T STOP.

Lufia: Ruins of Lore #2 - Moratorium

Today in Ruins of Lore, Rubius continues to lead RVD and Torma blindly on her journey. Yep, this is her story, even though she isn't even a playable character. The two dudes, the "main characters", might as well be Vicks and Wedge. Just along for the ride.

Lufia: Ruins of Lore (Game Boy Advance, 2003)

For this game, I'll be doing a No Pants Playthrough. I have to do something exciting, because trying to enjoy this game on its own is about as impossible as Shaquille O'Neal fitting inside of a condom.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Big Trouble in Little China lent inspiration to everything from Mortal Kombat to Ninja Gaiden. That's because this is only the greatest movie of all time. At least, I thought so when I was a kid. Surprisingly, it still holds up well today. Kurt Russellmania is here, Mister Burton.

Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Finale - The Shadowtime

This is it, the final episode of Link's Awakening. As Link makes enough of a racket to hatch the giant egg, what awaits inside? No one knows yet, but my money is on Anna Kendrick.

Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening #3 - The Rooster

Here's the Stalfos Knight, which used to be my favorite boss in all of these Zelda games. I think Dark Link took that crown in Ocarina though.

Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening #2 - The Sea

Why is there a picture of Princess Toadstool in a Zelda game?

...Wait, Christine? Who is Christine?

Nintendo Power, Volume 27 (August 1991)

It's August 1991. The Super NES is on the way. What's Dr. Wily doing in that mech? Getting revenge, that's what.

DuckTales (NES, 1989)

Now here's a game that has been critically acclaimed for decades. Not too surprised to see that it's by Capcom, since they were on fire in the late 80's/early 90's. DuckTales recently got new life in the form of an HD remake on current gen systems, but the NES version continues to be a true classique.

Dragon Quest II (Super Famicom, 1993)

Time for the second half of the Super Famicom remake double-header. To put it bluntly, I don't like this one as much as the first. It makes heavy use of mountain ranges to constantly block you off from exploring the overworld at your leisure, so it loses a lot of the open world feeling... even though it is, technically, a pretty open game. Aside from that, the game seems poorly-balanced in general. But if you like fighting baboons on the overworld for 80% of the game, it's a good time.

Regardless, it's fun in a classic sense, and this version has improved graphics. Let's get to it. And if you haven't, check out my posts on the NES version of the game.

Dragon Quest (Super Famicom, 1993)

 

Time for the original Dragon Quest. Wait, didn't I cover this game already? Yes, but I covered the English NES version, Dragon Warrior. This is the Super Famicom remake that came along later. It's awesome.

Lufia: The Legend Returns Finale - Sundown

This is it, the grand finale of the trilogy. Mega-spoilers abound, as well as Milka being a Thai hooker. Read at your own risk.

Lufia: The Legend Returns #8 - Bangkok Heel Turn

 I fly to the latest tower to confront Daos, this time with my full army. He isn't impressed.

Lufia: The Legend Returns #7 - AM Stalker

Previously on Lufia III, Daos killed Conas. NEVER AGAIN will he provide anyone with a Conas Hint. NEVER AGAIN DAMMIT!

Best of Corona Jumper 2014

Time for the selected best of the past year. And by "best" I mean "wholly subjective best". Your mileage may vary.

While we're at it, check out last year's Best of Corona Jumper for more of the razor wit that is Corona Jumper.

Modern comments will be bolded.

Lufia: The Legend Returns #6 - Terror Squad

"FEED ME MORE [Lufia III] FEED ME MORE [Lufia III]"

Lufia: The Legend Returns #5 - Blades of Amon

Copley Forest... no relation to Boston's famed Copley Square. I played this game in Boston, coincidentally.

Previously on Lufia III, Rudo tamed some of that strange. Today... he battles Amon.