Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Romancing SaGa III #8 - Harem Ladies of El Nool

Next up, Harid takes time out of his busy schedule of being a bodyguard/lover for Khaleesi so that he can get the True Kamsheen. This is one of two weapons he can equip in the whole game (the other being the starting Kamsheen) which makes it a must-have. Khaleesi's quivering loins can wait.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Romancing SaGa III #7 - Abyssal


Harid stands atop the mountain as the wondrous beef curtains of the cosmos cascade upon him. The game with zero romance, Romancing SaGa III, rolls on.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Romancing SaGa III #6 - Sandstorm

After a significant break from the game, I fire it back up... I need to figure where I am and what's going on, as our hero roams the desert and talks to trees. No idea how he got from Lance to here; it's been a little while. I think our hero dropped some Ex. Hopefully Princess Jasmine was around to reap the benefits. El Nool is a WHIRLWIND.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Highlander: The Series 1x22 - The Hunters


The finale of season one is here. TAKE ME TO THE FUTURE OF YOUR WORLD!

This is a particularly good episode, steeped in real-world feelings and featuring the debut of one of the show's most memorable immortals.

Highlander. Drink responsibly.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Highlander: The Series 1x21 - Nowhere to Run


It's Superbowl Sunday, but unfortunately for the NFL's ratings, I've got a new Highlander post for three people all of America to enjoy. Season One is just about done. Let's wrap this up.

And remember, always wrap your penii. Otherwise, you may end up with Nowhere to Run.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Highlander: The Series 1x20 - Avenging Angel


A sweet-looking abbey kicks us off today. This is going to be a shorter than usual review, simply because this episode doesn't have a whole lot to it. Gonna get Season 1 over with.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Highlander: The Series 1x19 - Eye of the Beholder

 Today on Highlander: BIG HOUSE RICHIE. "Here in the slammer, if you wanna last, you gotta take out the biggest dog in the yard."

Dude, it's the town jail, and you've been in there for like five minutes. 

Monday, January 20, 2014

Romancing SaGa III #5 - Dissolved Girl

 
Behold... the impossibly hot female version of Ezio. And God Willing, just as horny.

She has nothing to do with this game. I just want to note that I would play the living hell out of an AC game with a protagonist who looks like this.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Romancing SaGa III #4 - Stage Dive

::Harid walks towards the camera in slow-mo::

Previously on Romancing SaGa III... Harid had sex. He boned EVERYBODY.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Romancing SaGa III #2 - I Can't Stand The Rain

I choose Sara next; a meek, unappealing 16 year old who doesn't talk to people. The intros for the Monster Hunter Brigade are so similar because they all start in the same spot, talking about the thunderstorm and how it makes their jobs easier when the monsters all hide. Time for another leap back into the game that has nothing to do with romance, Romancing Saga III.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Romancing SaGa III #1 - Ringwraith Avenue

Romancing SaGa is a venerable series in Japan, brought to us by Squaresoft. For the most part, it hasn't fared too well outside of Japan; in the U.S., the portable entries were renamed to become the Final Fantasy Legend trilogy, the Super NES trilogy wasn't even released, and we didn't really get an  unchanged SaGa game until 1998's SaGa Frontier.

Out of the three Super NES installments, Romancing SaGa III is the best... and, to my knowledge, the only one to get a full English translation at this point in time.


Thursday, January 9, 2014

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Sega Genesis, 1992)

This site exists primarily to amuse me and a small group of long-time readers... anyone else who enjoys it is icing. I try to cover things that are either popular enough to generate interest in this site (Contra) or unknown enough that maybe I'll create an interest in them (Lennus 2).

First and foremost, I do this for fun, not to meet existing standards. Given the abundance of positive responses, I have to conclude that for the most part I'm hitting the right spot for other people too. Comments are extremely welcome on here, whether positive or negative. Even if it's something as simple as "This post was rad to the max" / "This post was ass" or as complex as a page-long diatribe on how people who play WoW are actually all well-off, socially adjusted, successful people who aren't allergic to sunlight OR terrified of lady-parts.

Moving on, here's a game that prompted a great many people to buy a Sega Genesis. Kept the system competitive against the Super NES for a while, it did, as Sonic continued his battle with the nefarious Doctor Eggman. A lot of people... and I mean a LOT... say that this is the best Sonic game out there. So I'm going into this with some pretty high expectations. I'm also going into it while incredibly high. I am the Walrus. Coo coo cachoooo.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Best of Corona Jumper 2013

 Instead of a pop culture year in review, this time I'll be looking back at my own material. While in previous years my style evolved over the course of time, this year my writing basically ate its own tail like an Uroboros. Hard to see much difference between early in the year and late in the year, so this won't be in chronological order.

My posts this year ranged from mildly douchey to uber-dickitude, but I always had time to respect the material I was covering. I barely scratch the surface of the post volume from this year, but here's a special selection.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Highlander: The Series 1x17 - Saving Grace


Closing out 2013 with one more Highlander post. This episode is a good one, mainly because Darius gets a ton of screentime.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Highlander: The Series 1x15 - For Tomorrow We Die

What a menacing title. This episode is the debut of Xavier St. Cloud, one of the most memorable bad guys in this series. Though admittedly, he's a lot more interesting in his later episodes; between that and various inconsistencies in this episode, it seems like he was intended to be a one-off and got brought back due to fan demand.

Xavier is the only villain to appear in seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4... as far as I know.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Highlander: The Series 1x14 - For Evil's Sake


This is the killer mime episode. It's the first one to take place entirely in France, and it's better off for it. The dramatic tone shift continues!

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Highlander: The Series 1x13 - Band of Brothers

Highlander returns with one of the series' high points. This episode is insanely good. Legend says that Adrian Paul himself went to the writers and told them that the Cop Show wasn't what fans wanted out of Highlander. From here on out, the Cop Show is almost entirely out the window. The writers would get it back with spin-off series The Raven, once Adrian Paul was out of the way. Yeah.