The Donkey Kong Land Trilogy

Today I'm looking at a trilogy of games that are both sub-par and antiquated. But...they're only sub-par with the Donkey Kong Country trilogy to compare them to. Taken on their own, they aren't bad for the original Game Boy.

Note: This post will be featured in Banana Yellow, much like the cartridges for these games.

Valkyria Chronicles (Playstation 3, 2008)

Today I'm going to take a quick look at a fairly underrated PS3 game from Sega. It's a strategy RPG that transpires on three-dimensional maps. The story runs during an alternate version of the early-to-mid 20th century. It's incredibly unique, and I haven't seen anything else quite like it. THIS... is the Chronic- (What?) cles of Valkyria! I said the Chronic (What?) cles of Valkyria!

Hiroshi Yamauchi

Two words for the founder of Nintendo: Thank You.

Mystic Ark, Part 5 - Paranoia

Time for part five. This will be the last Mystic Ark post for a while, but I'll pick it up eventually and cover the rest. Sorta like how Breaking Bad season five is split into two half-seasons.

Mystic Ark, Part 4 - Sundial

Mystic Ark: No relation to Mystical Gohan. Or as I like to call him... Mystical Brohan.

I'd really like to do some more DBZ posts in the near future. Look at some of the games, like DBGT: Final Bout and DBZ: Hyper Dimension, not to mention the various NES RPGs that were way better than anyone should expect.

In any case, on to today's Mystic Ark update, as The Eighth Saga rolls on.

Mystic Ark, Part 3 - Moonstone

Time to get crunk.

Mystic Ark, Part 2 - Lighthouse

The cook has gone missing. The question is... are we talking about a food cook, or a Breaking Bad style meth cook? I've been wondering why the cat people are locked in a nonexistent war and why their warships seem to be beached in the middle of the desert. Short answer? They're high out of their minds.

Mystic Ark, Part 1 - Reincarnation

Time for a classic Super Famicom RPG that never made it over here, like many great RPGs of the mid-90s. This is the game that would have been known as The 7th Saga II, had it gotten a North American release. It fixes many of the problems of the original game, and lets you have a three (!!!) person party.

Legend says that this was one of Enix's better efforts of the 90's. Thanks to the folks at Dynamic Designs (formerly Magic Destiny), we eventually got a fan translation of the game. If Lennus 2 was any indication, it'll be a great translation. Hell yeah, I'm excited for this.

The 7th Saga, Part 7 - Gods

The 7th Saga concludes with the final episode.

The 7th Saga, Part 6 - Fear

Moments after this picture was taken, former President Bush began clearing the town while wearing a rugged cowboy hat. This post was brought to you by screwdrivers. Not just any screwdrivers, because the ones I make are like 70% vodka. I apologize in advance.

The 7th Saga, Part 5 - Entwine

Previously on The 7th Saga, in ye olde days of... yesterday, it was time to slay the dragon.

Now, our heroes take on the nefarious Serpent. I'm getting closer to the end of the game, but first we've got some more blisteringly difficult boss fights.

The 7th Saga, Part 4 - Dystopia

This place is no Bone. In today's 7th Saga post, Esuna and her dwarven bodyguard square off with the nefarious Lejes and cross the meridian into the second half of the game. This post is brought to you by Bacardi Oakheart.

The 7th Saga, Part 3 - Crescendo

On the latest episode of 7th Saga, our heroes plunder the town of Bone. They also storm a few castles, as I thrust onward into the game.

The 7th Saga, Part 2 - Bargaining

Our heroes battle the bastardly Red Pison as 7th Saga grinds onward. Will I avenge my loss from 1995? We're about to find out.

The 7th Saga, Part 1 - Apocalyptos

This week I'm doing a full series for one of the more difficult RPGs on the Super NES. This game came out in 1993, and I played it in 1995. This was before I was interested in RPGs (which didn't happen until Chrono Trigger) so I didn't really know what I was doing. As a result, when I initially played this, I couldn't finish it. Not even close. Time to avenge a career loss, to put it in MMA terms. Egad! How far did I get back then? The battle with Red Pison. I played the game again a couple of years ago, which we'll be seeing screenshots of now. Tune in to find out how it went with double digit years of experience under my belt.

Highlander: The Series 1x09 - The Sea Witch

I always forget that this episode exists, because it's quite forgettable. It also isn't very good, in general. This is to be expected, considering it's from the first half of Season 1, which is the worst run of episodes in the series. This one involves a nefarious mobster and a boat. Featuring 10% more Creepy Richie. Batteries not included.

Highlander: The Series 1x08 - Deadly Medicine

Highlander: The Series returns with one of the worst episodes of the series. It's a comically bad episode... which is good news for this post.

Guest Review: Bioshock Infinite (PS3, XBox 360, PC, 2013)

Today, the "Deli Mane" Nick Vogt is taking a look at Bioshock Infinite. It's one of the best games of 2013. It's controversial. It's deep. What are his thoughts on the finished game? Read on to find out.

Suikoden IV (Playstation 2, 2005)

I've gone on record that I'm a big fan of the Suikoden series. The first three games in the series are good to great (though 3 is a step down from the others). I've never played the fourth... until now. This is because it sucks.

Game Review: Final Fantasy III (iOS, Android, PSP, 2011/2012)

Final Fantasy III
System: iOS/Android/PSP
Time to Beat: 30-35 Hours

For a long time, American gamers had no way to play Final Fantasy III outside of emulation. We got the (admittedly far-superior) Final Fantasy VI as our version of FFIII, and that was that. As for the original FFIII... despite two decades passing since the original version hit Japanese store shelves, this Famicom classic never got a direct translation from Squaresoft until the mid-00s.

Final Fantasy III for the DS brought the game to the English-speaking audience with adjusted difficulty, semi-three-dimensional graphics, and dialogue/story that barely existed in the original game. Now, years later, we get the third iteration of the game. This is a port of the DS version, upgraded significantly for modern smartphones. These upgrades include modern hi-res graphics that are far superior to the DS version, remixed music, and new postgame content. However, it's relegated to being on cell phones - historically speaking, not exactly a good gaming platform. Does this limit it, or does the game manage to shine regardless? Read on, as I review a cell phone game for the first time on the site. The game also exists on the PSP, but for the purposes of this review I played the Android version.