Hiroshi Yamauchi

Two words for the founder of Nintendo: Thank You.

Metroid Prime (Gamecube, 2002)

Considering that the Metroid series is one of my favorite of all time, it's crazy that it took me this long to include one in The Three Decade Project. A lot of that has to do with how I already did posts for most of the games in the series; however, I never did one for Prime, and it slides nicely right into the 2002 block. While I do in some ways prefer their darker follow-ups, Prime 2 and Fusion, I feel like Prime is tied with Super Metroid for the title of "best game in the series". That's some tall praise right there.

Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards (Nintendo 64, 2000)

Previously on The Three Decade Project, I talked about Ehrgeiz for the Playstation. Ehrgeiz is a game that hits close to home for many internet tough guys and keyboard warriors. This is because in addition to having had sex with a multitude of models, the average internet tough guy already has his hands registered as lethal weapons.

Now, we send it back over to the Nintendo 64. While the Playstation had adult fare like Metal Gear Solid, the N64 was now cornering the kids market. With "play it loud" out the window, Nintendo's new M.O. consisted of having no RPGs or games that appealed to grown-ups, instead relying on trotting out the same superstar franchises of the past to keep fans happy. It was just like modern WWE.

Super Mario 64 (Nintendo 64, 1996)

SUPERRRR MARIO 64.

Donkey Kong Country (Super NES, 1994)

And now... Advanced Computer Modeling! Silicon Graphics! Ultra 64! Nintendo Power! The Treehouse! Rare! 32 Megabits! One of the greatest soundtracks in gaming history! Magical times for all! This game was originally supposed to be for the Nintendo Ultra 64 Ultra 64 Nintendo 64, but they managed to transform it into an SNES game for the ages.

Gun Nac (NES, 1990)

And now for something completely different. Gun Nac is a classic NES shooter probably most recognizable for having some of the weirdest enemies in the history of the genre. Such internet luminaries as the Happy Video Game Nerd and Motherfucker Mike have sung the praises of this little-known game. What's all the fuss about? I set out to see for myself. Get ready for vicious attack-carrots and all kinds of insanity to ensue OMG THIS GAME IS AWESOME

Metroid: Zero Mission (Game Boy Advance, 2004)

The 0th Mission

Last month, I reviewed the iconic original Metroid (http://www.coronajumper.com/2012/07/metroid.html). Now I'll be taking a look at the 2004 remake. This game improves on the NES version in numerous ways, but (debatably) loses some of its charm. The big question is... why didn't Metroid 2 get the remake treatment? Graphic-wise it has aged even more than the original game and would be a perfect candidate for a solid remake.

Game Review: Mega Man ZX Advent

Mega Man ZX Advent

There Is No Dana, Only Zuul


Nintendo DS, 2007

Publisher: Capcom

Developer: Inti Creates

Time to Complete: 3-8 hours

Mega Man ZX Advent is the hottest, sexiest game I've ever played. If this game were any sexier, it would consist entirely of me having a three-way with You and Your Clone. Who? You know who you are. This game is just that sexy. If this game had a human form, I would make love to it, and it would wake up the roommates, the neighbors, and the dead from the nearby Indian Burial Ground with the sheer noisiness. This game knows it, as the Mega Man series continues its dominance of the DS with this sexy-ass game. I legitimately want to spank Mega Man ZX Advent, and spank it good.