Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Spoiler Alert: Butter Beer is People

Directed by David Yates

Written by J.K Rowling

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert "The Fuck" Grint

Rated PG-13

The seventh and penultimate installment of the storied Harry Potter movie series is upon us. The decision was made to break the final book up into two different movies, a part one and part two, in an effort to flesh out the series finale as much as possible. Thus, the movie series will get an eighth installment, covering the rest of Deathly Hallows. This was apparently lost on a percentage of the people in the IMAX theater I watched this movie in, given how the end was greeted with a chorus of "wha? huh? where's the rest?" from a decent number of the fans in attendance. Most of these people likely then went back to watching Glenn Beck reruns and wondering if OJ ever found the real killers.

Highlander: The Source

Starring Rob Schneider.

Welp... Highlander is one of the cooler franchises of the past 25 years. We've got the iconic original movie. We've got the six-season Highlander: The Series which ended up being one of the cooler TV shows of the 90's... for a long time, it was my favorite show.

Aside from that...there were a bunch more Highlander movies. They run from decent to extremely, extremely awful. It's almost like entirely different people were behind each installment. The movies have little correlation and largely ignore each other. Considering the greatness of the original movie and the series, it makes little sense.

The fifth and final movie, The Source, was the worst, and that's what I'll be looking at today. Why would I write about something that totally put a franchise that I love into the grave? Because I have an idea. I WANTED to like this movie. Really, I wanted to give it a shot. And at first, the movie is pretty cool. So what I'm going to do here is look at the movie right up until it starts to suck. This should be good comic relief, and I need to lighten things up around here after all the serious postings lately.

The moment the movie completely stops being good...this post will self-destruct. Like a light going out. Because that's when this once-great franchise dies.

Let's go.

The Richest Man in Babylon

Things I Will Teach My Kids

I Am A Semi Transparent Eye

November seems to be Serious Month here, much like October was Halloween Month. Things will be getting less serious again in the near future, but lately I haven't been in the mood for putting out the usual Comedy Gold. I've been doing a lot of thinking over here, and life has been more stressful than usual. It happens. Time for a deep thought here.

Game Review: Flower

Flower

An immaculate concept


PS3, 2009

Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment

Developer: thatgamecompany

Time to Complete: 2-3 hours

Developed exclusively for the Playstation Network, Flower is one of the more interesting current-gen games to come down the pike in some time. Upon its debut, it was referred to by some as a "tech demo" for the Playstation 3 hardware. There is certainly more to it than that. Purchasable for a mere $10, Flower is a sublime experience that anyone can enjoy, whether they're a gamer or not.

Catastrophe is the Touchstone of a Brave Mind

Veteran's Day. The day we think of our veterans.

This holiday means different things to different people. To some, it's a day where we "pay tribute to a bunch of old guys". To others, it's a day where we go march in a parade and wave the flag, then go back to business as usual. To still others, it's just a day off. And so forth.

Super Castlevania IV (SNES)

Super Castlevania IV. It's like regular Castlevania, except with golden hair.

Only for the Super NES! PLAY IT LOUD!

In an attempt to not be perceived as old and slow, Nintendo embarked on a campaign to out-attitude Sega in the early 90's.

This game... has nothing to do with that. But still, feel free to compare it to Bloodlines, its lesser known Genesis counterpart.

This was one of the SNES's earliest games, and began Nintendo's resurgent charge. It's also quite the gem. It is a remake of the original Castlevania, starring Simon Belmont. Because of its gem-ness and it being the culmination of my five-part Castlevania series, I decided to do something special with this one rather than my usual spastic commentary and juvenile references.

Thus, it will be narrated entirely by the protagonist. Editor's Note: I switch tenses often, much like bestselling author Mick Foley. Sorry.



Take it away, Simon.

Castlevania Bloodlines (Sega Genesis)

It isn't Halloween. It isn't even October.  But I'm not quite done with Castlevania yet. For the final two installments, I'll be looking at the Genesis and SNES leaps of the series. The NES trilogy was interesting, but in this day and age it tried my patience quite a bit. Will the next gen games fare better?

Short answer...yes. They're both a step up in the fun department.

First up, the Castlevania spinoff for the Sega Genesis: Bloodlines. In keeping with Sega's tradition of being younger and hipper than Nintendo, this game stars the hip young descendants of Simon Belmont.

Oh yes. Come on in and follow along.